Not Coping

 Monday I went to the other house.

Yesterday I cleaned here, made lunch, and went shopping.  I took a small thank-you gift to my neighbor for sweeping the cuttings up. I stood talking to her for about a minute and felt as if my body was on fire! The temperature yesterday was 37C!!

Today I've basically been in bed.  I planned to go to the other house. Got up at 5:30, and made breakfast. Just doing that sapped all my energy.  I realized that even if I went to the other house I wouldn't be able to do anything. So I went back to bed. The upturn from this was Mikey could drive Hannah to her university this morning.  That helped a lot as we had a thunderstorm!

I've spent most of the day sleeping. I feel a bit better but still no energy. Tomorrow I have a few classes and would like to clean out some of the kitchen cabinets and get things boxed up to take to the other house.

I'm wondering how much of feeling awful is physical and how much has to do with not wanting to move!

I know there is no choice, I know that it could be good but at the same time, it feels like a lot of hard work with no real reward!  Moving is usually a choice, moving to a better place, a nicer house but this move feels like a step backward. Yes, I own the house but that has no meaning as I don't like the place or the location. I would love to pull that house down and build something nice but of course no money.

I know a lot of this moaning has to do with feeling awful because of the heat.  I know that I'm just looking at the bad things, which there are many, and not seeing the good. Maybe as the weather cools down I'll find something good!

One thing that worries me is that each summer seems harder than the one before. I don't know if it's because of my health or age or if the climate is getting worse. Maybe a combination of both things!!

I need to focus on my health more. This year has been hard, shingles and then Covid.  Diabetes and the list of aches and pains. I've been having more bad days than good recently. Nothing specifically wrong just feeling drained, achy, and unable to focus.  I have a coupon for a health check. I don't usually bother as I have a thorough check-up when I have my cancer check-up.  But maybe getting some more checks might help.  

Cats cooling in the corridor

The cats are suffering from the heat as well.   They are lying stretched out! I can always tell the weather by how the cats are lying. In the cold weather, they curl up together, when it's hot they stretch out far away from each other!