Halloween Table

 I finally managed to set up the Halloween table.  I wasn't going to bother this year as I had to move books and bookshelves to make space but I realized that would be the last time.  This time next year we should be in the other house and I just won't have space for a teaching room. We'll be using the community centers to teach in, Mikey had been volunteering at some of them so they know who we are and what we have to offer.  

So yesterday I moved all the books and shelves from one side of the room to the other.  As I was doing this I found a lot of trash, old prints, books that were so out of date and not being used and flashcards that were unreadable.  I was ruthless in throwing out stuff.  I think this is the new me.  I know I can't move everything, the other house is less than half the size of here.  Also, the way we teach now is different and I hope better than before.  I used to need a lot of materials as I had little confidence in my ability to explain things in Japanese.  My Japanese is slightly better, I can use the translation app on my phone and if that fails I just shout for one of the kids to help explain.  So for now my teaching room looks nice!

Nice and simple this year

Yes, that is a Christmas tree.  I've seen this done in different stores and always thought it was a good idea.  I have a lot of Halloween tinsel and didn't feel like trying to hang it around the walls!!  

It's The Season......

 for allergies!

I have allergies all year round but spring and autumn are awful.  2 or 3 hours of non-stop sneezing.  Constant runny nose, itchy eyes and sinus headaches.  I've been taking over-the-counter medicine for about 20 years, sticking to the same medicine as I have found it helps without a lot of side effects.  Until yesterday.

I woke up with my nose dripping and my eyes really itchy.  I knew that it was going to be a two tissue box day if I didn't take the medicine.  So I took two capsules at 6am.  Kind of helped but still snuffling and sneezing too much.  So at lunchtime I took two more.  I figured that a 6-hour gap between doses would be okay.  I was wrong!!  An hour after I took the medicine I felt my heart racing.  I ignored it for a while.  I've had heart palpitations many times and every time I went to the doctor I would get told that there is nothing wrong with my heart.  But now that I'm older every little thing makes me panic.  So I did a Google search for heart palpitations and antihistamines.  Turns out that one of the chemicals used can cause heart palpitations.  I was relieved to find out that was the cause.  But what to do?  I need to take the medicine but hate this feeling of my heart racing!!

I didn't take the medicine last night and felt my heart rate settle down.  This morning I had to take some and again my heart is racing.  Looks like going to the doctor.  I don't want to as I really don't have time.  I'll see how things go this week.  Hopefully, the intense allergies will stop soon.

It Was Worth A Try

 My GoFundMe page has been stopped.  Something to do with Paypal.  There are some restrictions and can't connect PayPal to my page in Japan.  Never mind.  I'll see if there is another way to get money but I know that the bank I use is very suspicious of money coming into Japan.  A friend sent me 500 dollars at the beginning of the pandemic, I got a call from the bank to ask why I was getting this money.  Took half an hour to get them to understand that my friend just wanted to help out.  If it was a very large amount I can understand them being suspicious of money laundering.  

The best way, the only way I've ever made money is to teach English.  So I'm going to ask the kids to put out leaflets.  Also, see what can be done about our homepage.  There aren't that many independent English schools here so I don't have competition.  Just try to keep going.  This month is Halloween Parties, so the students can invite friends which is a good chance for them to meet us and see what kind of classes we have.  I'm trying not to freak out too much.  If the worse comes to the worse we will have to get a loan. I guess that would be cheaper each month than the rent!!

The weather has cooled down.  The other day was so nice and cool that I made a Victoria Sponge.  Nice with a cup of tea.  

Turned out nice

I know this isn't good for me but a small piece with a cup of tea was just the thing.

Even though I haven't been that good with my diet and exercise I have still lost a kilo.  Slow going and if I made a bit more effort I would do better but I'm happy with a kilo loss, better than going up a kilo!!!

Cookbooks

 In my living room I have a whole bookcase just for my cookbooks.  There must be over a hundred books!

All cookbooks!

Some are ones I collected in the 1970's.  A weekly magazine that I bought the binders for and made into books.  I kept them at my parent's house until the last visit and loaded down my suitcase with them.

The complete cook

I don't think I've made anything from them but they are good to read.

Another one I found was a free gift from a flour company when I was in school.

Free booklet from a flour company

This one I've used a lot.  Simple baking recipes.  

Then I have Jamie Oliver, and Gorden Ramsey books and even a Martha Stewart book that my husband gave me for Christmas one year.  

Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramsey books from charity shops

Martha Stewart book

 

I love reading these books.  I sit and read them like a novel.  As much as I love these books, trying to get the ingredients can be difficult.  But still interesting.

The books I use a lot are the Japanese books that I buy from the recycle shop.  It's a challenge to understand them but through using the translation app on my phone and the kids I can pretty much figure the recipes out.  I end up with notes in the books which helps a lot.

One of my Japanese books with my notes.

I should start collecting family favorite recipes and keeping them together.

As the weather cools down my thinking is turning to more and more to cooking and baking.  Just wondering how to make comfort food more healthy and healthy food more comforting!!

This past week I made cottage pie and a full roast dinner with Yorkshire puds!!  I've also made a big bowl of hikji seaweed salad that goes nicely with the Japanese lunches we've had.

Wondering what to make for today's lunch.  

It's Not Me

 The past few weeks have been awful for me.  I've been depressed (more than usual), crying at every little thing, brain fog, aches, and pains.  

I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me.  Yesterday was the tipping point, I was watching the Last Night of the Proms, all the patriotic songs. I was tearing up, when Jerusalem started I lost it.  I've listened to these songs many times and I'm always moved but not sobbing.  Then I got a message from a friend about sending money through Western Union, I went to the home page but couldn't make heads or tails of it.  I realized that recently even following simple recipes has become harder and harder. I used to be able to follow recipes in Japanese but now even English has me rereading them many times.  I ache all over, my joints are painful, feels like the flu.  This has been going on for the past few weeks but I couldn't figure out why, I'm eating healthy, most of the time, I'm getting some exercise and sleeping okay most nights.  It hit me last night that I had stopped taking the medicine for cancer!!  The medicine has something to do with hormones, when I started it I went into the menopause.  From nothing to full-blown menopause symptoms.  I think my body got used to the medicine and now that I no longer have to take it I'm experiencing some kind of withdrawal.  Just figuring that out is a load off my mind.  I really thought I was losing the plot!! 

I really don't want to go on other meds if I can help it, so am going to try and see if there is something more natural that I can use.

I'm just glad that I figured this out.  Having a reason for feeling like a crazy old woman helps.  Talking about being crazy I finally lost it with the cats the other night.  They were sleeping on the mattress, again.  I was desperate for the toilet so ran across the mattress, which made the cats bounce up and down, waking them up.  They gave me really dirty looks, honestly if looks could kill!!  Even Sam, who loves to be petted and cuddled gave me bad eyes.  This cracked me up, so 3 a.m. I'm sat at the top of the stairs, laughing so hard I ended up crying, still desperate for the toilet but unable to move!!  All part of my crazy life!!

Snuggled on the mattress

With David!

Weather

 It has cooled down so much the last couple of days!

Last week the highs were still 32 or 33C.  Yesterday and today just 27C.  Last night it dropped to 19C. Guess who's happy!  I can't believe how alive I feel.  The hot humid summers are really too much for me.

Yesterday I moved a lot of furniture out of the house, nothing really heavy but difficult to hold.  This morning I cut down some of the trees here, swept out the garage, and made a nice lunch.  Now I ache and feel tired, but it's a good tired.  The kind of tiredness that one gets from working hard and getting things done.  I have a couple of lessons to do and of course cleaning but I don't feel that I can't do it.  I'm hoping that this month I can really get things moving along.  

Next month Hannah has teacher training in an elementary school in the city.  She is excited and nervous.  She is busy preparing her lessons.  It's a lot of work for her, plus she has her usual classes and 2 part-time jobs.  Some days she leaves at 7am and isn't back until 10pm.  We message during the day, she asks for cat photos, so I send her some.  It's hard to believe that she is so grown up.  This morning she had to wear her suit, another interview at the school, she had on her contact lenses and makeup,  I just stood wondering where my little premie had gone to!  She has a crazy sense of humor.  Yesterday morning she was laughing at the crows, they sounded like they were swearing, calling 'Feck, feck, feck'. This cracked her up!!

The cats have taken over the mattress I'm trying to throw out.  It's in the upstairs corridor, leaning against the wall.  Last night the cats pulled it down and have gotten comfortable on it.  

Comfy cats

It takes up the width of the corridor so I have to run over it.  It's like an obstacle course getting to the stairs!!

Feeling Better

 First of all a big thank you to my friends who sent me messages and talked to me (or rather listened to me moan!), also to the people who left comments on here.  I'm deeply grateful to all of you.  It's so easy to get stuck in my own head, following the same script, the same negative thinking.  Hearing different ideas, and different points of view really helps.  I can stop, slow down and think things through.  This helps a lot.  

A few things have happened that have made me see things in a new light. One was a documentary that I came across the other night about the housing crisis in England.  I know that documentaries pick up the worst cases and then milk it for emotional effect but if these cases are the reality then England is really in a bad way.  The one that hit home was of a 52-year-old lady who was fighting breast cancer.  Her husband had left her but she had a job so she could keep up with the mortgage payments.  But then cancer hit and she had to quit her job because of ongoing treatments.  She spoke to the bank, explaining her situation, and asked if she could pay less until she could get a job.  The bank refused and evicted her.  I get that banks have to make money and the interest on the loans is one way but what happened to compassion?  Couldn't the bank say that she could have 6 months and then revisit the situation?  She was put in a share house but felt unsafe and left so she is now sofa surfing.  She went back to see her house and it's sitting empty!!  We've been asked to leave this house but we've been given 2 years (just over one year now) which helps a lot! 

We went to the house today and got a big shock.  The house behind us has been empty for over 20 years.  The yard was overgrown with bamboo trees, that was the reason the toilet tank broke!  Everything has gone!!

Behind the house

Looks like they are going to build houses.  I'm hoping that they will have city sewage put in and that we can use it too!!  The fact that the bamboo has been taken down is a big relief.  We could have done it ourselves but the fact that it was on somebody else's property would mean a lot of trips to the city hall to find the owner to get permission.  

Managed to throw a lot of stuff today.  I was talking to one of my students, and she told me it took her two weeks to clean out her mother's house, I've been working on this for three years.  I realized that I was spending too much time thinking about how I could use things, that I didn't want to waste stuff.  No more, there is nothing there that I really like, one chest of drawers, maybe one kitchen cabinet but everything else is not my taste.  So I'm being ruthless, it's all going.  My plan is to get everything out of the house then hire a truck to take everything to the trash place.  Metal we can sell for a few thousand yen, the rest is to be burnt or sent to the trash place.

I talked to the house and told it I was going to bring it back to life, that we would make it a happy place.  My dream is to have BBQs and invite friends, to hear laughter in that place, maybe to hear children shouting and running around.  I'm sure I'll get hit by negative thoughts again, that I'll feel overwhelmed and broken by all this but for today I feel good.  It's not going to be easy but I've got this. And I have wonderful friends who care enough to give me a kick up the backside when I need it!!