News Fast

 I think I need a news fast. 

I know that the world is crazy, that there are people out there who are unhinged or just so entitled that they don't care who they hurt to get what they want. I know that politicians care more about their position than the people they should be serving, and that keeping that position often means making deals with the devil. 

But I really can't take any more. My heart breaks when I see the riots in the UK, both in Belfast and Southampton. I understand the anger of the rioters, but I wonder if it really helps. Will the powers that be stand up and do something? 

I'm saddened that the country I grew up in is being destroyed by violence, not just the illegal immigrants, but young people who seem to think that stabbing someone is the only way to get what they want.

Every time I turn on my computer, I'm met with headlines saying that another young life has been cut short or another kid is fighting for their life in hospital. Today, for example, a 14-year-old girl has been charged with attempted murder after a knife attack at school. Is this the new norm? 

When I was 14 and upset at someone, we would call names, maybe have a fight with pulled hair, but taking a knife to someone was something I never would have imagined doing.

Japan is also not as peaceful or safe as it used to be. The body of a 17-year-old high school girl was found under a bridge. Her ex-boyfriend, who is 19, has admitted to killing her.

Crimes in Japan have risen recently. Murder and robbery have gone up by 3.6%.

Reading these reports or watching the news has made me feel very anxious. I feel so sad and defeated by the evil I see. At the same time, I know that a lot of the news is exaggerated to catch people's attention.

For example, according to most news outlets, the UK is about to erupt into total lawlessness and Shari Law is just around the corner. When I ask family and friends who are living there, they say that, yes, some areas are bad but not everywhere.

The same in Japan: there are more murders, rapes and robberies, but it might be that people are reporting these crimes more, especially the rapes and robberies!

Today, I scrolled through the news on my computer, sighed and cried, felt defeated and powerless. I realised that reading or watching the news isn't helping me at all. I don't need to know what is happening across the world all the time. So I'm going on a news fast. My computer will still open up to the news; I could change it, but that would take time. So I'll just ignore it! 

I want to focus on being positive; I'm really trying to let go of my negative thinking. A lot of the negativity I feel is fueled by the news, so a news fast for a few weeks might help me. My kids always say that I can't do anything, that just moaning and whining about things isn't going to help.

I want happy news; drop a comment if you have some happy news! 

My happy news this week was that my blood pressure was down!

Maybe a weekly post on happy news is in order!

This is a photo of the "jungle" outside of my kitchen door. Google made it into a stylised photo!

I was trying to take a photo of the sunset.

This is the original.

Hospital Visit

 Yesterday was my yearly check-up for cancer and my 3-monthly check for diabetes and high blood pressure.

I am beyond grateful that I live in a country that has good health services; I can't imagine waiting for months to see a doctor and then having to wait for ages to get test results. Health services aren't free in Japan; everyone pays into a national insurance scheme and then pays 30% when we go to the doctor or dentist. There are private insurance companies that offer health insurance, but I think the national insurance is good. 

The tests I had done yesterday aren't invasive and basically pain-free.

Except for the mammogram. I know the ladies out there know what I'm talking about.

The technician yesterday was very apologetic about squishing my breast between two plates! As she walked away to take the X-ray, she said, "Please don't move". I'm thinking I can't, then I started to wonder what would happen if there was an earthquake; does the machine have a safety release mechanism? I could just imagine the news headlines "Foreigner loses breast during earthquake!"

After the mammogram I had a CT scan, which was very quick!

The last test was an echo scan. I was called into the room; the technician greeted me by shouting "Ohayo Gozaimasu" Good Morning at the top of her lungs. I wanted to say that I'm a foreigner, not deaf! I asked her to check under my left armpit, as sometimes it becomes swollen. She asked a few questions in a normal voice that I could answer, then she asked me to lie on the bed, again yelling! I guess that is her default setting, as a lot of patients are very old!

The tests took about an hour to finish; the hospital was very busy. Not only do they have an outpatient department but a few wards as well. The patients on the wards are brought down for tests and scans as well. Most of the time, these appointments run very smoothly; the way the system is organised is very good. The only time things are delayed is if there is an emergency and the staff are called to attend to it!

Again, all my numbers are good! I was shocked at my blood pressure; I haven't taken meds for a while as I've been having problems with side effects! At home, my blood pressure was between 120/80 to 135/90. The first number is great; higher than that can be worrying, but I've noticed that the days it's higher are the days that my allergies have been bad! Yesterday at the hospital, my blood pressure was 115/75!

Today I'm wiped out. Wednesday is one of my teaching days, so after the hospital we came home, Mikey took me, had lunch, a little rest, then back to the same city to teach!

I managed to shop and cook lunch; I have to make dinner in a bit, but that's all. Tomorrow I want to ask David to pick the fruit that is growing and falling off the trees!

Some kind of plum!

Also, the blueberries are coming along nicely! I'm looking forward to frozen blueberry yoghurt!

It's Cold

 Maybe cool is a better description!

I'm so happy that the last few days have been cool and not humid, even though it rained all day yesterday!

This time of year I usually have to run my air conditioner, which is alright, but my electric bill doubles. The longer I can survive without running the air conditioner, the better.

From tomorrow it's going to get hot, 28℃, then it will continue to get hotter and hotter. 

I stopped at a discount supermarket on the way to teaching today. Near the entrance there's a bird's nest.

You can just see the bird's head.

This reminded me of when I first came to Japan. I was pregnant with Mikey and miserable with morning sickness. In the storage place was a bird's nest. My mother-in-law hung an umbrella upside under it. She said it was to catch the bird poop but also to save the baby birds if they fell out of the nest. She told me that it was a good omen for my pregnancy! I don't know if that is a Japanese thing or just my mother-in-law!

It's getting to bedtime. I have a very busy day tomorrow; in the morning I have a hospital appointment. This is the big yearly checkup, lots of tests, nothing invasive or painful, except the mammogram, but a lot of waiting around. In the evening I have classes.

Hisao's Birthday

 Hisao would have been 65 today!

I miss him all the time, but on birthdays and holidays I feel his absence more intensely.

I've been wondering what our lives would be like if Hisao hadn't died. Would we still be living here or would we have kept the house in the next city? Would David have gone to a good university? Would Christopher have gone to the high school he wanted to go to?

So many questions, no answers.

This morning I was alone in the house. I really didn't like the feeling of being by myself. I know that's my future. I hope that David and Christopher will one day get married and have their own families. That would leave me here, by myself. I'm alright with that; it's the natural order of things. Kids grow up and move on with their lives, but the thought of being alone is so sad. 

I used to imagine growing old with Hisao; I used to imagine going on trips with him, visiting all these interesting places in Japan. Finding things to do together. Hisao said once that he wanted to build a little hut on the land that we have further up the mountain, he dreamed of having a little cabin to go to paint. He was a good artist, but after we had kids, he didn't have time or space to paint.

Hisao with his painting.

In high school, Hisao joined the art club. The painting in the picture was one that he did at that time. It was displayed in the local art museum. He was always very proud of that! I wonder what he would think of AI creating art?

I found a few more photos of Hisao.

With Mikey, I still have those cushions!

Christmas in the UK.

With Mikey and David

With all of the kids!

I usually make a nice lunch on birthdays; however, I'm still struggling with my allergies. I feel a lot better than yesterday, but not 100%. I made an obento and breakfast this morning; it usually takes less than 30 minutes to make, but this morning it took over an hour. I had to keep stopping to wipe my nose or to sneeze. I went through four packets of tissues yesterday! 

I think this week I'm going to be playing catch-up with all the chores that need to be done, plus I have a hospital appointment on Wednesday. It's my yearly check-up for cancer and to check my numbers for diabetes. It's going to be a long morning. None of the tests are painful (except the mammogram), but it's a lot of waiting around. At least I can get test results in about an hour! I'll have to find a good book to read!

Another Bad Day

 Another day of sneezing and snuffling. 

I'm surprised that my allergies are so bad at this time of year. Usually by now I would have a few sniffles, but not bad enough that I'm in bed all day.

I planned a nice lunch: ginger pork, salad, rice and miso soup. I tried to cook, but my nose was just dripping, not nice at all. In the end, Christopher made lunch!

Today's lunch.

I'm glad that all my kids can cook. 

Cooking is a useful skill to have. If you can make about 5 different dishes, then you can survive without relying on obentos or takeout food!

One thing that my kids like to do is finding interesting recipes, either from recipe apps or on YouTube; they then experiment with the dishes. A few years ago Mikey came across a recipe that used ice cream to make cakes! For a few weeks, he made different types of cakes, very delicious and moist! Most of the time these experiments work out, occainsonally we have a disaster. But that is all part of the fun!

Christopher also made me some dinner!

Cheese and ham on toast. Salad, egg and sardines in tomato sauce.

It was nice; I think not having to make it myself helped!

I hope I feel better tomorrow, as I have a lot to do!

I Had An Epiphany!

 Yesterday I was trying to delete some of the web pages that I have marked over the last year or so. I was also trying to unsubscribe from some of the YouTube channels that I've subscribed to.

I noticed that a lot of these sites and channels were to do with making money online. About affiliate marketing, making digital products or writing an ebook. I have drafts of books that I've thought about writing and designs for gratitude journals that are just sitting on my computer.

I realised that I'm always collecting things or ideas!

I think I talked about this when I was writing about my Japanese study: how, instead of studying, I just look for more materials, new books, and YouTube channels for listening. Then I wonder why my Japanese doesn't improve.

I do the same with books. I have 1000s of books (physical books, not on my Kindle) that I've collected over the years; most I haven't read, but I still download books onto my Kindle almost every day. Last time I checked I have over 6000 books on my Kindle. Also, I have Everand, an app that I pay 1,000 yen a month for, where I have about 400 books saved to read later. I'll write a post another day about how I get free books, legally, for my Kindle.

Yesterday, while I was sitting, enjoying a cup of tea and listening to rain, I began to wonder why I do this. Why do I just collect things but don't use them? Why have I bookmarked so many sites and subscribed to so many channels but haven't done anything with the information?

I realised that, even though they are similar habits, the core emotion is different.

Collecting study materials and books makes me feel secure. Maybe a false security, as I know that a bad storm, fire or earthquake would destroy them, but when I see my books or open my Kindle and see all the books there, I feel relieved; I have something! Childish, maybe, but I went so many years without having books when I first came to Japan that I'm making up for it now!

The collecting of sites and YouTube channels and not using the information is rooted in fear!

Fear of failing. Fear of never getting out of the feeling of lack, of never being able to move forward in life because there isn't enough money.

I look at these ideas, things like making a colouring book to sell on KDP and feel that I could never make anything that good, even with AI. So, I don't bother.

I thought about writing a book about my life in Japan, the ups and downs, the truimphs and disasters, but then I think, nobody would want to read it! Even with AI's help it wouldn't be good enough.

I see all these cute T-shirts people have made to sell, promoting their web page or YouTube channel and I just know that I'd never be able to make anything that cute.

So, I sit and moan, I ask David to try out some of these ideas, he has more skills using the internet and AI, plus he is very good at drawing. I ask Hannah to make designs, again she is a very good artist.

I'm also stuck on the idea that the only way I can make money is to teach English. But I wonder if the whole idea of having a physical classroom and students coming has come to an end. I know some people are still doing well, but they are living in bigger cities, some have building that get a lot of foot traffic, so easy for people to join. 

Where we are living the population is really old and there are very few kids. There are five elementary schools in the area, the kids from these schools all go to the same junior high school. The city has decided to close these schools over the next five years and make one big elementary and junior high school. One closed this spring! That is rather shocking!

After a year of putting leaflets and no calls I think it's safe to say that  teaching here might not be possible.

During my reflection yesterday, I asked myself, "What is the worst thing that can happen if you try one of these online ideas?"

I realised that the worst thing would be wasting my time and maybe a few thousand yen.

So I took a leap of faith and went to Printify. I want to make T-shirts to sell; the theme is from my cat blog 81 Lives......Another Cat Blog

This is a blog about the chaos that my cats cause!

I found the process of designing the T-shirt easy enough.

This is the design I went with. I took off the black background so the colour of the T-shirt shows. And yes, it's AI-designed!

I've ordered one; I want to see what the quality of the T-shirts is first before making more designs. 

While I'm waiting for the T-shirt to come, I have to decide which is the best platform to sell on, either Shopify, which is popular in Japan or Etsy. I also want to see if I can sell them on my Ko-fi page!

I told Hannah what I was doing; she made a design as well. I think hers is really cute, as it shows our cats, but I don't know if it's good for a T-shirt!

These are Hannah's designs.

So I'm going to be trying a few new things: stop collecting and start doing! Time to face the fear!

I don't know if I'll make a lot of money or any money at all, but I do know that if I don't try, I'll never find out!

Wish me luck!

The Rainy Season

 The Japan Meteorological Agency announced that the rainy season, tsuyu, has started in northern Kyushu. I didn't need the announcement; just looking out of my window told me that the rainy season had started!

This video is from my window. All day it's been raining, nonstop!

The biggest problem for me is laundry! I usually do a load every day. I don't have a dryer; they are available here but are expensive to buy and run. Laundry is hung outside, which I like; when it's dry, it smells of sunshine! During the rainy season, it's a lot of planning to get the laundry done. Yesterday we ran out of clean bath towels because I hadn't done laundry for a couple of days due to the rain from the typhoon. David had to go a 24 hours discount store to buy some! At the moment, I have laundry hanging in the dining area with a fan blowing on it; I hope it dries!

Another thing is that the mould tends to grow a lot. Nothing dries out, ever! Even on the days it's not raining, it's humid, and everywhere feels damp! This is why good air conditioners are so important; the better ones have a dry mode. It doesn't cool down the room so much but does dry it out a lot. Today is rather cool, so it doesn't feel humid or damp. I hope the temperatures stay low for a while longer!

The rainy season is predicted to last until July 19th. That's a lot of rainy days! 

I like rainy days; they are days for reading, for just sitting and watching the rain, for a break before the brutal heat of summer starts. 

I hope the rain doesn't get too strong. Today it has been constant but not torrential. There is a thunderstorm advisory at the moment, but I don't think we will get a thunderstorm; at least I hope not!

Looks like I'm going into my summer schedule: get up early and do all the chores before 8 am. The rest of the day I'll be reading or studying!

If I read anything good, I'll let you know!