Mom

Mom would have been 87 yesterday!

It's hard to believe, but Mom was 64 when she passed away- the age I am now! 

It feels too young to die! I know that people die at any age, from just being born to people in their 100s. 

Still, 64 is young; at least I feel it's young.

I remember talking to Hannah about Bonnie Tyler dying this past summer. She was 75; I remarked to Hannah that was young. Hannah said it wasn't that young. I guess it's closer to my age; therefore, it feels young.

Thinking about Mom, when I was a kid I realised that she never took time for herself. She was always doing something. She always worked, even part-time; she cleaned the house constantly and cooked almost every day. Sunday was baking day; almost every week, growing up we had some kind of cake on Sunday. She never missed a birthday, and Christmas cards were always sent out in plenty of time. 

In her 50s, she did start to do things she enjoyed, visiting places, going to the theatre. 

I always saw my Mom as the perfect Mom and often wondered how she did it all. She was always there to comfort and fix things. I used to think she had some kind of magic. 

I wonder what she would have been like if she had lived. Something I'll never know.

Found a few photos of Mom.

One of the first photos of Mom; she said she was in her teens here.

The last photo I have of Mom, just a couple of weeks before she passed away.

Happier times, on the beach with baby Mikey.

One thing I learnt from Mom is that life is for living, not just sitting and worrying. Mom worried a lot, but she also kept on going!

On one trip back to the UK, Mom and I were shopping at a market. There was a butcher's shop; the butcher was trying to sell some beef. This was when mad cow disease was discovered in the UK; the price of beef dropped, and it was difficult to sell as people were worried about getting sick.

The butcher kept dropping the price of this piece of beef, but no one was interested. When it got ridiculously low, Mom shouted out that she would buy it. The lady next to her said, "You're stupid buying that; you could die if you eat beef"

My Mom's reply was priceless: "That's true, I could die if I eat beef but I could walk out of here and get hit by a bus, I would rather enjoy a nice roast dinner than worry about a diesease that won't show up for years. If you want safety, stay in bed!" There was a round of applause from the customers and the butcher!

Life is indeed dangerous and scary. But wasting away in bed because you are too scared is just sad. On the days when my anxiety overwhelms me and I feel that I can't go on, I remember the beef incident and ask myself what Mom would do.

Internet Gurus

 Maybe "YouTube gurus" is a better description!

Since I started my Etsy shop, I've been watching and reading about how to design, find your niche, and, most importantly, make money.

I spent a few months watching different people talk about how to make things like gratitude journals or travel journals with AI, mainly using Canva and selling on KDP. This was something that really inspired me. I love journals and pretty notebooks. 

I tried to make a nice gratitude journal, but trying to make lines on a computer screen that are level proved to be a lot harder than it looked in the video. After a lot of attempts, a lot of shouting at the computer and a lot of frustration, I gave up.

Then I came across one video that sparked my interest in designing T-shirts.

Just one thing that he said made me stop and think. I'm paraphrasing here, but he basically asked, "How much have you made with your print-on-demand store (POD)?" He said that so many people spend months or even years watching videos, reading blogs and articles, but never actually start the business. He said that if you've made bad designs, that's good because it means you've started.

That really hit home. One, I'm not the only one who sits around doing "research" but actually just procrastinating; two, I can just start; I don't need permission, and if it fails, at least I can say I tried.

This was the push I needed to start, and I'm glad I did. I have another focus, another thing to think about and learn about.

But now I'm starting to get rather frustrated with these internet gurus and their clickbait. The ones that start their videos with "Follow my exact formula, and you will make $10,000 a month". Then the first thing they say is to use the most expensive AI out there. Or the ones who say to follow the trends, but they don't explain why it's a trend or how long it's been a trend or if it's going to last.

Most of these start their videos by showing screenshots of how much they've made. A few million dollars over a couple of years seems to be the most common amount.

My kids say that this is similar to the Gold Rush in the 1840s in California. Sure, a few people got rich from finding gold, but more people got rich selling the shovels and other mining equipment. The same goes for these people making videos and articles about POD; I think they are making more money from subscribers to their video channel than from their POD business.

I still watch a couple of these videos once or twice a week; most of what they say I take with a pinch of salt. I'm learning how to navigate Etsy and other webpages to get ideas for my designs. I also look at what people are wearing and what's in the local stores. Hannah keeps telling me not to stare at people; I tell her I'm not staring, just trying to memorise their T-shirt! I actually keep a notebook with me now so I can jot down any good ideas I see or inspiration I get.

This week, with the new Etsy guidelines, I was grateful for some of these people who spent time going through the pages of information from Etsy and summarising it. I have a basic idea of the new guidelines but need to spend time reading them myself, maybe at the weekend.

I'm still putting out new designs, a few a day.

Here are a couple that I really like.

Cats as Japanese food.

A sweatshirt for the new year. The bottom picture is the front; the top one is the back.

Have a look; it helps my store get noticed. There's a link on the right-hand side.

Start Panicking!

 Yesterday, I decided that panicking wasn't helping me, and I wasn't going to do it anymore.

That didn't last 24 hours!

It wasn't the typhoon; it actually died and turned into a rainstorm.  I enjoyed listening to the rain and the nice, cool evening and night it brought.

The panic today was when Hannah called.

We use video calling, so when she called this morning with a big grin but wide-eyed, I knew something had happened. My first thought was that she burned something while cooking or ruined some clothes in the laundry and wanted some help to figure out what to do. That's a usual Hannah call, or asking if milk that is one day past the expiration date is alright to use.

This morning, however, was a very different call.

She had received a message from the university to stay away until further notice; there was a bomb scare!

Yes. A bomb scare in peaceful Japan.

The campus was evacuated, and the police did a thorough search. It's a large campus, so it took most of the day to search it. Hannah's afternoon class was cancelled, which she was happy about, as she was doing research for her thesis and had gotten into a good place and didn't want to stop.

This is the second bomb scare that has affected my family.

The first one was a few years ago when Christopher was in junior high school. It was during the practice for the sports day event. I had gone shopping and came back at about 11 a.m.; Christopher was sitting in the living room. I thought he was sick, but he said that a note had been left at the school office saying that there was a bomb in the school. The school was evacuated, and the kids were sent home.

I didn't really panic today, well, a little bit. The world seems to be a scarier place than before. Between wars, riots, and natural disasters, there seems to be no end to the misery. I think it's time for another news fast!

I have my own disasters to worry about; my garden is now officially a jungle! I need to get out there and clean it up; even a bit might help. 

My finances are another disaster. I've always worried about money, but at the same time I always had some confidence that I could get new students. Now that has finished, and I'm looking at new ways to make money. 

My cats are causing disasters in the house.

The cats destroyed the doors.

These are basically paper doors; they were already a mess when we moved in, but the cats have totally destroyed them. We don't use that room, so I'm thinking of taking the doors off, maybe putting accordion doors on later.

I need some energy to tackle the disasters in my life!!

And yes, I know that things aren't really that bad; some people have it a lot worse! 

Stop Panicking!

 I panic and overreact almost all the time.

Sometimes that serves me well. 

When I found a lump in my breast 8 years ago, I went into full-blown panic. Of course, I found the lump on a Saturday and had to wait until the hospital opened on Monday to get a diagnosis. Do you know how many thoughts can go through your brain in one day and two nights? Far too many! I went from thinking it might just be a cyst- I had one before to thinking it was stage 4 cancer and I'd have only a month to live! When the doctor told me that it was cancer, but just stage one, and it hadn't spread to other organs, I cried with relief.  I think my panicking served me well; if I wasn't panicking, it would have been easy to put off seeing the doctor, leaving the cancer to grow and possibly spread.

But constant panic isn't healthy; the hormones produced by panic and stress tend to wear down the body.

I realised that in these past few days.

My first big panic was the Etsy ruling, but the more I read it and watch or read what other people are saying about it, the more I realise it might not affect me. 

If it does, then I'll just have to rethink things and find another way to make some money. It's not as if I've made a load of sales and have a customer base that I'll lose. Sitting at my computer, crying and screaming at the unfairness of the ruling isn't going to help anything. All that did was make my heart race and flood my system with cortisol and other stress hormones, which isn't healthy.

The other thing that has me on edge is the typhoon that is creeping this way. Typhoon 30 is heading towards Kyushu; from what I can understand, the storm won't bring very strong winds but a lot of rain. But heavy rain can cause landslides, and living at the foot of a mountain means that there is a possibility of that happening.

Again, I've spent the last couple of days obsessively watching the weather news and constantly checking the weather app on my phone. Neither of these things really helps! David moved some of the stuff from outside, things that could fly and hit the cars. I've shopped so I don't have to think about going out in the heavy rain; driving can get a bit scary when the rain is too heavy to see clearly. Other than that, there's nothing that I can do; just wait it out.

I really do need to be calmer. It doesn't help me that my mind goes to the worst-case scenario straight away.

This evening I'm going to get on my bed and watch TV, read a bit and try to chill out.

I called Hannah just before I started writing this; she's happy about the storm as her class might be cancelled tomorrow. She isn't worried at all, maybe a bit, but she's doing her research and has plans to watch something on Netflix after dinner. She is focusing on something else, which is a good thing.

I just hope that the alert on my phone doesn't go off!

I still have a load of photos to sort out from my Kagoshima trip!

Here are a few more.

Sakurajima covered in clouds.

Torii gate we saw from the bus.

One of the trams.

Department store, such a beautiful building.

I even designed a T-shirt.

Looks good, at least I think so!

Don't Put All Your Eggs In One Basket

 This idiom came to me yesterday, in the middle of an Etsy meltdown!

I realised I've always done this with my businesses, relying on a single income source.

I've run a little English in Japan for 35 years; I supported my family, saved money for the future, paid (for the most part) for trips to the UK, paid for doctors, dentists and vets and assumed that I would be teaching until I dropped dead.

The pandemic, the rise of apps and AI and the falling birth rate in Japan have changed the face of small Eikaiwa Schools (English Conversation Schools). Some are still doing well, but moving to the middle of nowhere has basically finished my school off. I still have students- about 17 now. Mikey does most of the teaching, so he gets most of the money.

Looking back on things now, I think I should have thought of creating some other business or maybe making supplements to sell, little worksheets or something like that. 

The reason that Etsy's new rule hit me hard is that I'm really hoping that Etsy can replace my English school. But again, I'm putting all my eggs in one basket. I should think about other ways to make money.

I make a few 100 yen every month from this blog and my cat blog, but not a lot. I'm researching adding some affiliate links, but I don't want to have a blog where there are more adverts than content. 

I could start a new blog for my school, use it to get new students and sell prints on it, but just keeping two blogs going is a lot!

Also, I have my Ko-Fi page that I need to work on.

I need to organise myself a bit more. 

If anyone has any suggestions, drop a comment.

There's a possibility that Typhoon 30 will pass through here tomorrow evening. The weather will be bad overnight into Monday morning!  I don't think it will be very bad here; the wind won't be very strong, but a lot of rain.

It's been raining on and off for a couple of days. This morning the clouds were very low over the mountains.

I love when the mountains look like this!

What To Do?

 I'm sure you all know that I have an Etsy shop.

I started 3 months ago and have made one sale! Never mind, it's a start. I figured I would keep putting up new designs, keep plugging away on Pinterest and on here and maybe in a few months' time I would start seeing some traction. I wasn't looking for a get-rich-quick scheme; I wasn't even thinking of getting rich, just to replace the income I lost from teaching English.

This morning I got an email from Etsy. They have changed their AI policy, yet again. Since I design with AI and use AI to generate the images of the products, this affects me. From what I understand, for each product, I have to take an unfiltered photo of each product, which means buying each product and taking a photo of it. At the moment, I have 200 products with prices ranging from 2,000 yen to 5,000 yen, plus shipping. I want to make money, not spend it. So I have no idea what to do. I was really hoping that this would make a steady income, enough to live on, but it looks like I might have to close down Etsy or move to another platform.

David suggested I focus on my writing and write a book, which I could do, but that takes months, if not years, to get published. 

I think this new policy has hit me hard, as Etsy was one hope that I had. 

So what to do? That is what I'm wondering about. I have other ideas but not sure if they would work out or not. Having a store on Etsy is like renting a small store in a big shopping mall; customers are already looking, so if they see your store, they go in and hopefully buy. If I set up a webpage, I have to build a customer base from nothing; nobody would go looking for my store. I need to see where this policy is going, what I can do and if I need to close down Etsy and move to another platform. 

This email changed my plan for today's post.

What I was going to write about was the mess I got into with AI yesterday.

I asked Gemini, Google's AI, to make an image of a Samurai Santa, which it did, but I couldn't use the image; even though it was nice, it wasn't what I was looking for.

He looks a bit scary.

I then asked it to create an image of Santa on the Shinkansen, but I didn't start a new chat, so the information from the previous chat was incorporated into the new image.

Samurai Santa on the Shinkansen

I had a good laugh with it!

I'm going to have to think about what to do. 

If anyone has any ideas, drop a comment.

A Catch Up Of The Past Week

 I can't believe it took me a week to write about a 2-day trip! We did a lot on that trip, but I still thought that it would take, at most, 3 days to write about it!

One problem is sorting out the photos; we took so many, too many to use, actually! Trying to figure out which ones go to the post I was writing takes time. 

Also, the weather has cooled down a lot, although we are still having warm days, so I've been doing a bit of deep cleaning. All the things that I ignore when it's too hot or too cold get a good cleaning. 

 I managed to get sick last week, just a sore throat and headache for a couple of days. Nothing major, but I was still tired from my trip, so it took it out of me.

Poor Hannah got the same thing, but she had a low-grade fever for a couple of days, and then it went up to 38℃. Not very high, but because she has epilepsy, it was a bit worrying.  She went to the doctor to see if it was the flu, which is making the rounds now, but she just had a cold. Even a week later, she isn't 100%.

Then there's Mikey. Last Thursday, when I was feeling miserable with being sick and worried about Hannah, Mikey walked in on crutches!

He's doing a part-time job unloading containers. He was in the container when the boxes came down on him, hitting the right side of his body and burying him under them.

He didn't break anything, thankfully, but found it painful to put weight on his right leg. He has bruises on his face, arm, torso and leg. 

I've also spent a lot of time trying to get more T-shirt and sweatshirt designs on my Etsy store. Lots of cat Christmas designs; they would make lovely presents.

The pink T-shirt turned out better than I thought it would; the dog's expression is priceless.

I've finally, with the help of AI, managed to add the hyperlink to my store. Please have a look. Just looking helps me a lot; buying helps even more.