Sixty-Two

 I didn't reach my goal of being 62kilos by 62 years old! Still in the mid-90s! That's how old I feel as well!

I have lots of reasons but I know that they are really just excuses. I have to find a way to focus on eating healthy even when everything around me is crazy.  I keep telling myself that once we have moved, and everything is settled and the weather is better then I can focus on my weight.  Which I know isn't true as I'll just find other reasons not to focus on losing weight!

I'm also suffering what I'm calling the moving blues! Just over two months, 72 days until we move and I'm still not happy about it. 

I know no choice, I know that I'm lucky to have the house to move to and that I wouldn't be able to find another rental because of the cats and teaching from the house. I know that I'll be saving money on rent (but paying tax on the land that doesn't earn an income!), that it's my house and I can change things, and save for a nicer kitchen but I still don't want to move there.  The closer the moving date gets the stronger my feelings are about that!  It just makes me sad!  

Part is bad memories, the year we lived with my mother-in-law, the times we visited and got yelled at for different things.

Then there is just the actual move. Just thinking about the logistics of it makes me panic!  I'm trying to box up as much stuff as possible and move the boxes every week. In the past few weeks, I've sent more than ten big boxes, but this house is still full.  I'm throwing out and giving away as much as I can. This house is big, with 4 bedrooms, two Japanese style rooms downstairs and a big open plan living, dining, kitchen area.  The other house is half the size, with a Japanese-style room, two small bedrooms, a kitchen/dining room, and a small living room that will have to be a bedroom. About half the size of here!

I'm just not coping at all. I want to crawl into bed and not do anything at all but that isn't going to help.

Tomorrow I plan to sort my clothes and throw out stuff that I don't wear.  Some things are still good but the recycle shop won't take them as they aren't brand names and there are no charity shops!  I tried the recycle shop the other week with a few of my clothes and some of Hannah's, we got a pound for a bag of about twenty items. cost more in gas to get to the store! 

I can still laugh at things.  I'm trying not to be too down, my energy level isn't that good so I can't afford to get overly depressed because I just wouldn't get out of bed at all!  I'm reading a lot of daft books, and watching far too much on YouTube, there are some videos of the city we are moving back to so I'm watching those. I set myself a goal to do something every day, pack one box, sort one drawer or cupboard, and find answers to the problems we have.  Most days I feel I have accomplished something!

My kids and the cats make me laugh. The kids are supporting me, which helps.

And of course, the cats are cute!!

Sam being cute!