Depression

 So it's started.

I've suffered from depression most of my life.  I understand now that there isn't that much I can do about it, just wait until it passes.

It's not just feeling sad, it's a feeling of having no energy whatsoever, even the easiest of tasks takes so much energy.  For example, this morning I vacuumed one room and felt exhausted!  Most days I can clean, cook, and teach.  I do take more breaks than I used to but I can get things done.  But since Saturday it has taken an effort just to get out of bed.  At first, I thought I was just tired from Friday's cleaning at the other house but then I realized that I had no interest in doing other things, even watching TV felt too difficult.

Part of this is our money situation.  We have no money at all.  I struggle each month just to make the bills. The kids help out but their wages are low, even working extra they still only make about  600 pounds (and that is a good wage).  Actually, most people in Japan need two jobs to make ends meet. One knock effect of this is that people aren't coming for English lessons.  We haven't had any new students at all this past month which is very unusual as April is the start of the school year here and parents want extra help for their kids.  We are still advertising, I've asked David to update our web page to include online lessons!  But we aren't the only ones not getting new students, a lot of similar small companies teaching English are struggling!

I've looked at making money online but everything is US or UK-centered, most companies won't pay to Japan.  Even doing things like surveys aren't available here, there are some in Japanese but I can't read that much.  I know they don't pay much but even getting a few Amazon gift cards would help pay for the cat food.

All the things I have to pay for at the other house weigh heavy on me!  I know that once we move there I will save on the rent money but I have to pay for things before we move there.  The bee hive (I think they are more like wasps) needs to be taken out.  The minimum cost is over 60 pounds, but the nest is in a place that is difficult to access, so maybe a lot more!  The cracks in the foundation need to be checked and sealed up before winter,  I have no idea that cost!

Then there's Hannah.  She is going to graduate school form next year.  I would to help her with buying things for her apartment. I know I don't have to but it would be nice!

The weather isn't helping either.  It's raining and starting to get humid!  

David with the cats!!!

I'll try to post something happier another day!!