Be Positive

 After my last moaning post I decided to message my friend.

I don't have many friends but the ones that I do have, I've known for many, many years and I know I can trust them to tell me the truth, even if it's hard!

The message to my friend went along the lines of how hard it is to move, how this is all (mostly)my MIL's fault, on and on.  One total whinge fest!  My friend wasn't having it.  She told me to stop moaning and just get on with things.

Even though it hurt, it was what I needed.  

That night I was sorting through my books (again, I have so many), trying to decide what I want to keep and what I can let go of.  I came across one of my journals written about 6 months before we were told that we had to leave this house.  In it, I wrote that I was wondering if I could get permission to change the toilet, bathroom, and kitchen here.  If I could choose the company, then get a loan to pay for it.  

This really hit me!  I was willing to pay to renovate a house that will never be mine but not willing to do the same for a house I own.  Talk about stupid!

So I gave myself a good talking to Wednesday night.  I realized a few things.  I either worry too much or moan too much.  With this move, I'm doing both.  I need to let go of the past, the pain and move on with my life.

Is this what I want?  No!!!

Do I have a choice?  Again no!!!

Is moaning and worrying going to change things, of course not!

So what should I do?  Grow up would help!   Stop acting like a kid who didn't get what they want for Christmas. 

I decided to focus on something good in the house.  There are 100's of problems and as I take out more and more stuff I'm sure I'll find more.  But there are some good things! 

There is an engawa, which is like a veranda that has nice views of the garden.  I plan to set up a reading corner there. I'll make a nice cozy corner to relax in.  I'm guessing that in the summer I won't be able to use it, as the air conditioning doesn't extend there but at other times of the year it could be nice.  Also, there is a bench outside of the dining room windows, a nice place to sit, with a cup of tea and watch the mountains.  If I can change the kitchen, I can make it one where I can cook without doing a balancing act!  These are the things I'm going to focus on!  

I've decided to focus on doing what I can do, instead of moaning about what I can't do.  One thing is I can cook good healthy meals.  I enjoy getting in the kitchen, and making good healthy meals.  

Thursday morning I spent time cleaning and cooking.  We had a good lunch,  we were just finishing when some of the cats started fighting.  David went to see and came back in with Fred, one of our grey cats.  One side of Fred was soaking wet, I thought he had got in the shower room but when I looked more closely I realized that it wasn't water but this yellow/brown fluid that was pouring out of a wound.  The cyst had burst!  David was happy that it burst on the corridor which is easy to clean up and not on his bed!

We cleaned Fred but he kept licking it so we put a collar on him but he got that off after a few seconds.  So I found an old T-shirt that belonged to Hannah and tied it on him, he wasn't happy.

Fred in the T-shirt

Poor thing but he seems to be okay!

After that, I had a nap. When I got up again I asked Christopher to help me with some things on my computer.  My computer used to translate web pages from Japanese to English but has stopped doing that.  Christopher asked what was wrong with my Line account.  Line is similar to WhatsApp, a free messaging service.  When I opened my line account everything had gone.  Turns out that my account was hacked.  I sent e-mails to most people on my account, explaining what had happened.  Christopher uninstalled the app and I have to reinstall it!!

Mikey, Christopher, and I went to the house again today.  I managed to pull up the carpet in the corridor and found that the floor is really nice, it needs a good polish but other than that it's okay.  I'm kind of stuck at the moment.  I piled the stuff to be dumped into the dining room, it's the easiest to take out things but because there is still too much outside nothing is being moved.  Mikey and Christopher managed to burn a lot, so I hope next time I can get more out!