Insomnia

 I've suffered from insomnia most of my life.  I'm a very light sleeper and any noise wakes me up, then getting back to sleep can take hours.  Last night, however, was on a whole new level, I didn't sleep until 7am!  My mind just wouldn't shut down.  I tried things that have worked before, deep breathing and relaxing each part of my body but nothing worked.  It's all to do with moving to this other house.

It's just over a year since we were told we have to move and I've really tried to think of positive things but have only come up with two.  No rent and the toilet is on the same floor as the bedrooms!

It's too small.  The house here has 6 rooms and a big living, dining, kitchen area.  We have two rooms set up to teach in, I'm writing this in one of those rooms. The living room has the sofa and TV, a place to relax. The other house has a Japanese-style room, two bedrooms, a kitchen/dining room and a separate living room. That means the Japanese-style room and living room will have to be bedrooms. Which means there is no living area to relax in.  If we want to watch TV together we would have to sit at the dining table, not very relaxing.  Hannah will move out late this year or early next year if she gets into graduate school.  Mikey might follow.  But still too small.  I can see that most of the time I will be in my bedroom. There is a lot of dead space that just can't be used.  The design is bad and not really for a family.

The next problem is location.  Here, within a 5-minute walk, there is the city hall, a supermarket, a drug store, a dentist, and a clinic.  A bit further is the library and eye doctor.  Twenty minutes walk gets you to the local shopping mall and train station.  In the other house there is nothing.  The nearest supermarket is a 10-minute drive. Somebody suggested getting an electric tricycle but the way people drive around there it would be very scary, I'm still thinking about that. The bus runs once an hour and goes to the city center, which has basically closed down. To get to the shopping mall would take over an hour.  We have one car, which Mikey uses most of the time. David will have to buy his own car.  Christopher can't drive and his eyesight is so bad he thinks he can't get a license.  David and Christopher have looked at getting apartments here but after paying rent and utilities, they wouldn't be able to eat or buy anything else.

Then there is our teaching business. We want to continue teaching here using the community centers but it's a 40 to 60-minute drive each way.  To make that work we need to put classes on the same days. Which means we might lose some students, as kids are very busy after school.  At the moment classes are spread out over the week, which is okay, makes it more relaxed.  But coming here just for one lesson isn't worth it.  Also, Mikey has more lessons than me, so most days I will just be hanging around waiting for him.  Here, if I'm not teaching then I can clean, cook or find other things to do.  I want to get online students but haven't figured out how to do this as yet.  

Even not paying rent won't save money if students quit. Also it looks like getting loans to pay for the house to get fixed up.  We will do as much as possible ourselves but some things need professionals, so I don't know how much money we would save.

All in all it's a lose-lose situation.  I've looked into finding another rental here but with the cats that is impossible.  I've looked into buying a house but we can't get a mortgage, even though it would be cheaper than the rent.  So we have to move or become homeless.  

This is what goes through my head at night.  Trying, desperately to find something good in this and there just isn't anything good.  Maybe this is why my stomach is bad, the stress of this situation.  I made a bacon sandwich an hour ago and am still trying to eat it!

End of moan!!  For now!

One good thing I've lost a bit of weight!!!