Shocked

 I got the gas bill this morning.  Usually at this time of year it's about 6000 yen, about 35 pounds.  Which is reasonable for hot water and cooking for a month.  This morning's bill was 9000 yen, about 55 pounds, an increase of 3000 yen without an increase in usage.  I have no idea how much it will be once I start using the gas heaters!  At the moment we are okay as the sun warms up the main rooms and this house keeps the heat.  My biggest worry is the room I use to teach in. I don't want my students to be uncomfortable, but I don't know if I can afford heating!  I'm hoping the weather will stay mild for a few more weeks!

My business isn't doing very well either.  We usually get two or three students every month, this year we have gotten only one new one.  That is really bad.  We advertise a lot; Mikey does volunteer teaching at a lot of community centers, we have an advert in a local magazine and a homepage but nothing.  I feel desperate and it's getting me down! I've been looking to do some online work, surveys but everything is in Japanese and I can't read that much.  I guess just keep looking!

I planned to go to Costco next month for Christmas but now I'm wondering if I can justify spending a lot of money on two or three meals.  I know it's once a year but the money I spend could be used to buy food for a week.  The kids are helping.  Christopher is trying to get a second job; David buys the cat food and shops once or twice a week.  I never thought it would get this bad.  I know my family isn't the only one struggling and I still have a lot to be thankful for.  But it really sucks!!!

How are other people coping?  How are you dealing with Christmas?

Tough Few Days

 All started last Friday. Dentist appointment, need I say more.  Forty minutes of being drilled and poked, having the mold taken 3 times!  Wasn't really painful but did feel like I had been punched in the face!  Friday evening, I was munching on some crackers, lovely cheesy taste until I broke a different tooth.  This tooth already had a hole in it, at the back, so I guess it wasn't that strong, but it just snapped off, leaving a jagged edge that keeps catching my tongue or inside lip.  Planned to go to the dentist today but Sunday I got hit with the most awful allergies.  Hours of none stop sneezing and the most incredible headache.  I won't go to the dentist when my allergies are bad.  I have a fear of him drilling away and I suddenly start to sneeze!  In my imagination the outcome of that is a lot of blood! My allergies have calmed down a bit so I hope I can go tomorrow!

Also, the cats are driving me crazy.  They are fighting a lot and the zoomies are back.  During the summer it was too hot for them, so they all became very calm but now the weather is cooler they are up to their old tricks.  Last night I didn't get to sleep until 4am, either cats fighting or crying and scratching at my door!  Hope tonight is better!

Keeping warm

David and Mikey getting a selfie with Alan

One good thing, through all this I haven't binged or eaten any sugary stuff.  Tempted but managed not to!  

My Journey to Health

 I've decided to think about losing weight as a journey to a healthier me.  If I think about dieting all I get is negative thoughts.  If I think about being healthier, having more energy, regaining my mobility and not having to worry about diabetes I feel powerful.  If I think about dieting, I get the image of being deprived.  It's a mind game I know but for me the biggest obstacle is my thinking.

I started yesterday at exactly 104kgs.  First goal is to get under 100kgs.  I know I need to lose a lot more but breaking it down into smaller goals helps.  Also, if I can get the money, I am hoping to go to Osaka in March with Hannah to watch The Phantom of the Opera.  Plus do some sightseeing but all that involves walking a lot.  I've been watching these videos of itineraries of the best places to visit in Japan. Just watching makes me tired but some good ideas!

Talking of videos, I watched John Lewis Christmas 2022 CM this morning.  Made me cry!  

I watched it twice, both times I cried.  Let me know what you think!

To Diet or Not To Diet!

 I know have to lose weight.  I know that even a 3 to 5kg drop would help a lot.  I also know what I should be eating and not eating and that I need to exercise.  But it so hard. 

I've struggled with my weight my whole life.  The smallest I've been was 48kg, eating disorder, the biggest was 113kg, about 7 years ago.  I've bounced between these extremes for 40 years!  I started this year at 108, this morning I weighed 104!  

January, I stopped sugar.  February, I caught Covid.  March and April I was still knocked about by Covid, just extremely tired all the time.  By May I felt better, had energy again but my eating was all over the place.  Then summer with the heat and the inability to cook or prepare anything healthy.  Now the weather is finally cooling down and I'm back in the kitchen but not making healthy meals.  Some days are better than others, 90% is from scratch but a lot of carbs! So, I'm going to try and do another month of no sugar and watch my carbs.  It's going to be hard, so look out for a lot of moaning.  I would love to drop another 2kgs before my doctor's appointment the end of December, also bring down my blood sugar levels!  I've been on the border line of having diabetes for about a year!

Wish me luck!

Mobility

 Something I never thought about, my mobility.  I've been overweight most of my life.  I've been obese these past 15 years or so and morbidly obese the past 8 years (about).  Through all that my health has been okay, blood pressure, cholesterol, no diabetes, heart health okay.  I never worried about being fat, it's not fun but if all the blood tests are okay and I'm not going to drop dead tomorrow then so be it!  But about 3 years ago I started having pain in my right knee.  Went to the doctors and was told that it was osteoarthritis, basic wear and tear on the knee.  I was told to lose weight.  The doctor wasn't happy when I asked why only one knee was painful when both knees carry the same weight!  He never answered that!  So, I've been trying to lose some weight, from my highest I've dropped about 9kgs!  Taken a few years but at least it's in the right direction!  But walking to the dentist last week shocked me.  It's just a 5-minute walk but took me twice that long, I just couldn't walk at a good pace.  Hannah walked off, she said she was walking slowly but I was too slow.  I was wearing my knee brace but even that didn't help much.  After I was so tired but had to shop.  I noticed that in the supermarket when I use the cart it was easier to walk.  So, I bought myself a walking stick.  Makes me feel very old but if it means that I can move more I guess it's good.  

My walking stick.

Halloween tree at the local mall!

I made scotch eggs the other day.  Easy to make, cheap and filling.  Except for Mikey we had them for lunch.  Mikey had his in the evening.  When I cut his open it looked like eyes.

scotch egg eyes!

Dentist

 At the beginning of the pandemic, I broke a tooth!  It didn't hurt so I decided just to wait.  The first covid viruses really scared me as it seemed to attack the lungs.  Being obese and having asthma I really didn't want to risk exposure.  One pet peeve I have with the dentist is the light.  The dentist or nurse have their hands in my mouth, they adjust the light, hands back in my mouth, then on to the next patient without cleaning the light.  I imagine all the germs, bacteria and viruses having a lovely party on the light! Which is why I didn't want to go during the pandemic. Now two years later the hole is bigger and joined by another hole.  Also, the past couple of weeks I've had pain along my jaw line where there are no teeth!  This morning Hannah and I went off to the dentist.  Hannah wanted a checkup and clean.  Her teeth are fine, no cavities at all.  She was told to go back in the spring!  Me, on the other hand, ended up with x-rays, local antithetic and lots of lovely drilling.  Did I mention that I'm afraid of the dentist and I have a very sensitive gag reflex?  Awful feeling, lying there, gagging and wondering how much his watch cost and if it was hygienic.

Hannah and I walked to the dentist.  Just a few minutes' walk.  But with my knee it took a bit longer.  I'm glad I walked.  I wanted to challenge, to see how far I could go.  One thing I love about living here is how convenient it is.  Within walking distance is a supermarket, drug store, doctors and dentist.  I can't drive so being able to walk to these places gave me a feeling of independence.  But the past few years I've lost my mobility and wasn't able to walk far at all.  I've lost a bit of weight which has helped with that!

Next to the dentist, liquor store

lovely October day

I always wondered how many people go into the liquor store after the dentist!

Steve

Steve, our white cat, ended up at the vets Saturday afternoon.  Saturday morning I found pee with blood in it!  Having nine cats meant following each cat when they went to the toilet.  Hannah volunteered for that job!  When Hannah found out it was Steve we were worried as he had kidney stones as a kitten.  Our usual vets were closed but Hannah found a new vets, just a few minutes' walk from our house.  So in the afternoon Hannah and Christopher took Steve.  Hannah said that Steve hated the echo scan but was alright with the injection!  No stones so it's either stress or infection.  The vet gave meds for this week and we have to watch when he pees.  Also we have to collect a pee sample.  I say we but this seems to be Hannah's project.  Steve seems to be doing better as he was zooming around this morning.     

Steve