Thirty-Five Years In Japan

 Today marks thirty-five years since I came to Japan!

I planned to stay for about five years! I guess that plan didn't work out!

I was looking through my diary from that time. I was so scared to come here. Hisao was already here; I had to go to the UK to deal with my back problems, some things don't change.

I spent a year trying to fix my back, going for rehabilitation, maybe twice a week (I don't remember). Ultimately, the doctor stated that it wouldn't improve significantly beyond its current state. 

So January 1991, I packed my bags and came to Japan. 

If I could give my younger self some advice, it would boil down to just a few things.

These are the regrets I have about coming here.

First, don't burn your bridges; have an escape plan. Up until that point in my life, I always had a way to go back if things didn't work out. Money saved, contacts to get a job, this kind of thing. When I came to Japan, I didn't do that. Part of it might have been that I wasn't planning on staying too long. I figured five years would be enough time to make money, have the Japan experience, get to know Hisao's family. After that, we would go back to the UK and settle there.

Secondly, learn more about Japan. This was pre-Internet, YouTube, or influencers. In the November/December before I came, there was a Japanese culture exchange event in London. I remember the Sumo bouts, I'm sure there were other events, but I can't think what. The BBC did a documentary about Japan. The documentary covered the recovery of Japan after World War II. Another documentary I watched was about a day in the life of a typical family in Tokyo, the father going to work, and his daughter struggling through junior high school. I found that fasacinating but couldn't see myself standing at the door waving goodbye to Hisao!

I wished that I had understood a bit about the pressure of living as a foreigner in a country that is so totally foreign. I'm not sure if there were any resources out there at that time.

On a similar note, I wish I had learnt some Japanese. I knew a few phrases, some basic greetings, but I always thought that I would have time to really learn as I lived here. I didn't realise how much time and energy having kids would take up, also I didn't know that I would be running a business.

The last thing I regret, especially now, is not being able to drive! I thought I wouldn't need to drive, as the first plan was to stay in Tokyo. If we had stayed there, then not having a driver's license would have been alright. Now, however, it's really hard not being able to drive.

I can't imagine living anywhere else now. I don't really love Japan, but I feel comfortable here. Settled might be the best word. My kids have futures here. I don't think I want to go back to the UK now, to visit, but not to live.

I used this photo before, me just after arriving in Japan.

I watch videos of people coming to Japan to study, to live, for jobs or because their spouse is Japanese. I think they are very lucky to be able to come now, with the technology that is available now, it is so much easier. I had no way of calling my parents, I couldn't see my home in the UK. There were no apps to help with translation, my phrase book fell to pieces after a year! But I don't think that there is any technology that can help one adjust to such a different life. That takes time, perseverance and a sense of humour, being able to laugh at yourself and the mistakes you make!

Drop a comment if you live in a different country from your birthday country, also if you would like to come to live in Japan one day!