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 What makes a place a home?

Is it the building?

Is it the people you share that building with?

Is it the memories that you make there?

I've been thinking about this for a while now, actually, since we were told that we had to leave the old house and move back here. 

At the other house, I felt at home. Even though it wasn't mine, and toward the end, it needed a lot of work done on it, it felt like home. It was comfortable, I could relax there. 

This house has never felt like a home. Even when it was newly built, there wasn't a feeling of being comfortable.

My mother-in-law had this built after a massive typhoon took off most of the roof of the original house. 

After it was built, my mother-in-law and her mother just moved all the old stuff they had back into the new house. Having all the old things put in made the small rooms seem smaller. 

There's a small living room that is off the dining/kitchen area, but it was never used as a living room, just a place to store things. 

Another thing that stopped this house from feeling like a home was the fact that they put their names on everything. When I first noticed this, I thought it was because my Grandmother-in-law had been in the hospital. I was bringing in some laundry as it had started to rain when we came to visit. I noticed that some of the towels had her name on them. A hospital stay would explain this. But I noticed that the fans had their names on, the heaters for their own rooms had their names on. They even had identical sewing boxes with their names on! This made it feel more like an institution than a home!

Also, the ornaments my mother-in-law collected weren't displayed; they were just stored in cabinets. And the only photos were of dead relatives in the room where the Buddhist altar was.

I never had a sense of home when we visited here; it was just a place to live.

When I look at old photos of where we've lived, I like to notice the things on tables or shelves.

I notice cups or dishes and wonder what happened to them!

What happened to those glasses and that tray?

If you look very carefully, you can see some piggy banks on the windowsill. These were promotional gifts from a bank. But they have a funny story attached to them. Hannah had one; she was about 9 at the time. She kept taking the money out of the other one and putting it in her piggy bank, until she got caught! Hisao put tape on the other one, which Hannah tried very hard to take off. She was a bit disappointed that her source of income dried up! 

This photo, as well, brings back memories and a feeling of being at home. 

This was January 2024, the lads were playing some daft game, talking and laughing. I look at this photo and see all the books we collected, some were for teaching, others were my reading books. The silver box that holds the Christmas decorations and the tree waiting to be put away. All of those things are now in storage because this house is too small!

Even after living here for a year, it doesn't feel like home. 

There is no real place to hang out together. We have a sofa in the dining area, but no living room. I thought about changing the tatami room to a living room, but I will need to use that room to teach in! 

I really don't know what to do to make this house feel like a home. I thought about putting up some photos or some of Hisao's paintings. I would love to paint the walls in the tatami, entrance and corridor. At the moment, the colour is this horrible green colour, which reminds me of snot!

This green colour.

It doesn't look too bad in the entrance during the day, but the tatami room and corridor are dark, and this colour just makes it feel darker!

Of course, having nine cats doesn't help with keeping the place nice. They have destroyed the doors to the tatami room!

Naughty cats!

But the doors are made of paper, the wooden doors are alright!

I really want a living room. Sometimes we hang out after eating, but the room is either too hot or too cold. Having a space where we can be together would be nice. 

I know my kids are adults and want their own space, but having a place to hang out together or to invite people to would really make me more settled here.

Leave a comment if you have any ideas about making a house a home. I'll try and put up some more photos of this place, maybe I can draw the layout, so you can see what I'm up against!