Two Years

It is hard to believe that two years have passed by since Hisao died! Where did the time go?
This year is somehow harder!  I feel my memories of him are further away than before, if that makes any sense! 
I try to face my grief head on but this past summer it felt as if grief was too much for me to handle. I wanted to run away and hide from my feeling but I know that doesn't help in the long run.  So I put my brave face on and worked through the pain to a bit better place.  I also realised how easy it is to fall into self pity which is not grief.  There are questions to which there are no answers, why me? why now?  why does my family have to suffer like this?  But then why not me? why not now?  why not my family?  We are all equal under God and other families are suffering more than mine.  Falling into these questions doesn't help at all, they just produce negative thinking and an unhealthy self pitying attitiude.  Grief is not linear, it is a tangled web of emotions, I can feel sad and happy at the same time.  I can have hope and feel despair at the same time.  I am both fine and not fine! 
I have learnt a lot this past year, I can cope with more things than I thought, I can put a brave face on things and smile through my pain, even if it means curling up and crying after.  I can make decisions by myself and help my kids with the decisions they need to make.  I am slowly finding confidence in myself!  The year has been hard and I guess every year will be hard but I will survive!

Ten years ago!

Oh Bother

I had great plans for last week.  I was going to start the Christmas cookies and get most them done before the parties this week.  But then we got sick!  Christopher and David missed the worst of it but Mikey, Hannah and I got hit by some kind of virus that is making the rounds.  Poor Mikey couldn't keep anything down for about 24 hours and had a fever of 38C.  Hannah had a fever and felt really sick for 2 days and I was holding onto a cold that had lasted for about 3 weeks.  Mikey and I went to the doctor and got loads of medicine!  The medicine I got had very interesting side effects, I was sleepy but really high!  At least the kids got a few laughs out of that!
I managed to get the cookies done on Sunday, spent 5 hours baking and still need to do some more today for the last few days!  Our students are being treated to home made cookies and a magic show for their Christmas Party this year, from the amount of laughter I hear from the teaching room I think they are having fun!
Talking about fun, I think my kids are just about cracked up.  Some evenings when I am teaching I can here laughs and giggles from the living room.
Here a few photos to show what nut cases my kids are!

The tree grew arms

No comment

Mikey "I am the boss"

I will post some photos from our parties later!!

A Busy Nice Week

The past week has been busy but with nice things, not just work busy!
Last week I  went to Hannah's school for a couple of hours. Three times a week Hannah attends a special education class.  The class is for kids who are having a hard time. Most of the kids are special needs kids or kids with learning difficulties.  Hannah attends to get one to one help with Japanese, something I can't do!  
The teachers in this city organised a Christmas Party for the kids and parents,  maybe from 3 different schools.  Hannah was the MC for the event.  I was very proud of her, she stood up and said her piece in front of about 30 people.  She welcomed everybody and between each activity would explain the next activity!  The first activity was for the kids to get to know each other. Each child had made a name card and had to exchange the card with other kids.  Hannah took care of some of the younger girls who were rather shy, she got down on her knees so she was eye level with them!  There was a quiz on the latest popular kids cartoon.  I was amazed that most of the parents knew the answers as well as the kids!  Then another game and then we went to the Home Economics room to make hot cakes together. 
All in all a nice afternoon.  I think these events help the parents to connect to their kids.  Some of the kids seem to on the austic spectrum and can be difficult to understand and deal with!  I was reminded yet again not to judge people by what they look like.  There was one mother who if I had seen her at a store i would think that her life is perfect, expensive clothes, jewelery, not a hair out of place but her son was a real handful, he was a special needs kid.  When i looked more closely at her she looked exhausted!
A few photos from that afternoon.

Hannah's name cards

Hannah talking to one of the younger girls

On the weekend we went into the city.  I wanted to check out one store, to see if they had anything for Christmas, plus I wanted to see the Christmas lights.  When Hannah and I saw this area on TV news the lights looked really nice.  I know that many times TV and reality can be very different but this time the area was decorated very well.  There was a Christmas Market with snacks, mulled wine and Christmas decorations on sale.  A bit expensive but I got the kids a pizza and I had mulled wine, first time!  Rather nice but a bit strong.  There was a stage set up and when the lights came on a 5pm a group gave a short concert.  I was impressed by them, the harmony was tight and the girl who sang "Let It Go" actually manged to hit the right notes!
A nice day but exhausting. 

Rather cold at the train station

the lights

After our day out we all got hit by something that is going around!  Christopher and Hannah both had a day off school.  Mikey spent most of last night throwing up!  And I have a sore throat and headache. David seems tired but not really sick.
Never mind!

It's Begining to Look a Lot Like Christmas

I am always amazed when I got to the shops at this time of year, everywhere there are signs of Christmas, trees are decorated, Santa's on every counter, and big sale signs.  Shops are getting very clever at getting money out of people.  I saw a big sign for Christmas cleaning goods, usually the cleaning stuff is on sale for the big cleaning before the new year!  The one thing that is missing is the real reason for Christmas, the birth of Christ is basically unknown.  There are a few christians about but this is not a christian country.  I always feel something is lacking in the way that Christmas is only about getting presents and having nice food!  Even the focus on family is not there!  So as always I am looking for ways to share about Christmas with my students!  One thing is reading the nativity story in Japanese!  We have a card game based on the popular Uno game, each card has a different question on, it really helps the kids to speak English.  One question shows a typical nativity scene.  The question asks to identify the different people!  This leads into telling the real Christmas story!

Our house is being decorated for Christmas!  As I said we got our trees up and decorated.  I still have to sort out the lights.  I make the same mistake every year.  When I take down the lights I just dump them in the box, not folding them up properly.  Then when I take them out they are all tangled up and it takes ages to sort them out!  I will learn one day!

Hannah fighting with the tree

The entrance

Teaching room tree

Almost finished

David after I threw flour on him!

Christmas Shopping

Last week I had 3 days holiday, so I decided to get my Christmas shopping done!
For 2 days Mikey, David and I tramped around these massive shopping malls and I came up empty!
I got a few things but not what I wanted!  One problem was the price of stuff, I know that prices are going up but some of the things I saw were just crazy expensive. Another problem was not knowing what to get for the kids!  I did manage to get a few things for Hannah and Christopher but only a book for David and nothing for Mikey!  I still have time but I was hoping to have things done so I can focus more on things here!
We did get the Christmas tree up and most of the decorations out.  David and Christmas trees are not a good mix!  He managed to somehow pull the big tree over on top of him!  Then he made me loose count of the flour I was measuring out!  I got mad so I threw a handful of flour on him.  All good fun .
I'll get some photos tomorrow, no battery in the camera at the moment!

Baking, Cooking and a Broken Water Heater

As the weather cools down I spend a lot of time in the kitchen baking.  This year however I haven't felt up to it until the past week or so!  My seasonal allergies have been extreme and sneezing while baking is not nice!  I didn't do so many halloween cookies for the students so I'll have to make up for it with the Christmas cookies!  The past week I have been baking for the kids.  I made banana chocolate cake, banana coffee muffins (too many black bananas!), snickerdoodles, chocolate pie, apple pie and chocolate chip oatmeal cookies. I hope to have chance to bake today and am trying to decided what to make!
One reason I can bake so much is that David has taken over cooking dinner.  He is getting very good, he not only cooks but thinks up the menu and does the shopping. If he cleaned up after that would be perfect!  Last week he made pizza from scratch, nan bread base and homemade topping with a nice light soup and salad.  He cooked up a chicken dish and some fish also.  Most days he has ideas about what to cook, takes a load of pressure off me!
The big problem the past couple of weeks has been the water heater!  Some mornings there was no hot water at all.  Then in the mid morning it would start working only to stop again later!  The worst part was trying to take a shower.  Sometimes the water would be nice and hot then suddenly run cold!  Not nice at all!!!  We called the gas company and they sent somebody who had a look and decided that he had no idea what was wrong.  Another call two days later resulted in a new control which has so far worked.  Somebody is coming on Tuesday to replace the heater and I hope that is the end of the saga!
A few pictures to end with!

When it rained for days on end we let the dog in for a while

David with his fish, he cooked this up very nicely

Chocolate Pie

David's Pizza

Poor Mikey with a bad allergy attack, he spent ages steaming his nose to try and cleat it a bit!

Helping Hand

One the way home from the supermarket last night, Mikey and I , saw an old woman struggling with her bags.  She would take two steps, put her bags down, take two more steps and stop again.  It was dark ( this is after 9o'clock) and very cold.  We both felt sorry for her, so I got out of the car and offered to help her carry her bags for a bit.  I wasn't in a rush and felt that the least I could do was help her get off the dark, narrow road!  I took her bags and asked her which way.  She said she was okay and not to bother but it was obvious that she wasn't okay.  I walked with her a few minutes, chatting, in my bad Japanese, about the weather and how difficult it is to have to walk in the dark.  It felt good to help out.  Until I got back to the car!  Mikey said that according to his friends it is not a good idea to help out.  If something happens to the person while helping out, the person could blame you!  When I thought about this I felt that maybe the old lady thought I was trying to steal her food or that it was too much for her me helping her.  I went to bed feeling really guilty for helping out this old lady.  But then I wondered what kind of society do we live in where wondering if a good dead will come back and bite us stops us from helping out!  What do you think?