Hot Days and Rainy Days

I can't believe the weather we have been having here the past few days!
Saturday and Sunday were hot.  Up to 34C near here.  That is unheard of for this time of year.  From Saturday afternoon I started to feel awful, sick, dizzy and throbbing headache!  When I checked my temperature it was 37.5C, heat stroke!!  Every year this happens, first hot day I get sick.  My body really doesn't cope with the heat!
Yesterday the temperature dropped and the rain started.  Rain is good, cooler temperatures are really good.  I felt so much better yesterday!!
On Saturday Mikey had his first magic show.  He said that it went well, he didn't get any photos.  I'm glad that it went well and that he managed okay.  The audience was elementary school kids, not the easiest to impress! Plus he got paid, $100.  For half an hour, now that is what I call work!
Good news on the weight front, half kilo down!  Good start but my eating has been all over the place!  Some days good, some days so so and some days awful!  But it's a start!  On July 28th Mikey and I are working with another English teacher to put together a one day summer program for kids in this area.  So I need to loose some by then otherwise it is going to be hell for me!!  So now I have a date to shoot for!!   Wish me luck!

Angry

Christopher has very mild asperger's syndrome.  Once he figures out the social cues needed in a situation he is okay.  He is good at school because he knows how to react, he has learnt what is appropriate and what is not. He still misses somethings, doesn't understand the difference between teasing and bullying, sulks a lot.  But part of that is being 16, not having his Dad around and being stressed by tests.  Also there is very little help here, I would love for somebody to sit with him and explain all the silly things that make up Japanese society and manners that are needed to get through each day!  But he is a sweet boy who needs a lot of love and encouragement!
This morning I was asking who was taking Hannah to her piano teacher's house.  I suggested Christopher.   David said no because the piano teacher thinks that Christopher is rude!  I am so angry at her judgement. She has met him twice maybe!  She hasn't asked why he behaved the way he did, I think he didn't say hello when he went in.  Some of the kids who come here are rude, really rude, wandering around the house, opening closets, saying things to me  which really rude for example asking why I have a fat arse!  Even though I get really mad at them I try to hold off on any judgement, my internal dialogue is not good but to the kids I explain in a firm voice that what they are doing is not right,  I also ask the parents if the kids have some problem, if they do (and a lot do) I adjust my expectations of the kids and try to help to develop the manners they need to live in this society.  I would never say to their family you are rude.
So I am angry, I am paying this woman to teach piano not judge my kids for something that they can't help!

More Moaning

So I did okay for a couple of days.  Eating was good, even did a bit of exercise.  Then Wednesday night I was looking at old photos, even 20kilos less than I am now I looked awful.  So I let myself sink into the stinking thinking mode.  What's the point, even if I loose some I won't look any different, might as well enjoy my food now, that kind of thinking.  So Thursday started out bad and went down hill from there, cakes and ice cream!!  Today has been okay, I have dinner planned, which always helps!
Another moan is that it is hot.  And I think I put the fans at MIL's house and won't get chance to go there until next week. I hate hot weather!
Hannah just came back with her knee banged up.  She fell down on the way to school!  
Plus David had to go to the dentist this morning, he had tooth ache last night.  Seems okay now, says he doesn't have to go back!

Having a Moan

I know I have to do something about my weight!
I think about it all the time, every morning I think "Today I will eat right, I will exercise" but it never gets past that!
My health is actually pretty good for an obese woman, no cholesterol, no fat in my liver, normal blood pressure and no sign of diabetes.  But the extra weight I am carrying makes me so tired, my feet hurt and my back screams if I stand for more than half an hour.
Yesterday I went shopping with Hannah.  The shop we went to had lovely cheap T shirts.  I need load of T shirts in the summer, it gets so hot here.  But for my size I am limited in choice and everything is so expensive. 
Also I want to travel, I want to enjoy summer, go to the pool or beach but just the thought of summer makes me uncomfortable.  The past week it has started to get warm, upper 20C's, not as hot as it gets.  But I am already uncomfortable.
So I have to do something!  But if I am honest I don't want to.  I don't want to not eat the foods I enjoy, I don't want to watch my kids enjoy ice cream while I sit there watching them and I really don't want to exercise.  But what choice do I have?  None really!
So I am going to use this blog to moan about how unfair it is!  How I see other people stuffing themselves and not get fat! 
So my goal is to loose 5kgs in 6 weeks.  I can do that!  I have to do that!
From tomorrow I will stop eating at night, no munchies after work. 
I will make my dinner light and try to eat more in the mornings.  I will add some exercise as well but not sure what at the moment.
I will try to up date.  

I'm back

I never went anywhere but we lost Internet connection for a few days!
We changed our Internet provider a few months ago and have had so many problems since then.
Poor David felt so responsible for everything since he pushed to change.  He tried so hard to get things working. He managed to get out lap top to connect but I left that on all day Saturday and burnt out the adaptor.  Finally on Tuesday we managed to get a service guy to come out and fix things up. So we are back.  3 of our 7 computers are connected plus the TV is connected, so we can watch YouTube! 
Not having the Internet was very interesting experience.  I realised how much time I waste on it.  I spend far too much time just messing around on it.  But it is also very useful.  I really missed being able to just google things, questions the kids asked or looking up recipes. 

I have finally managed to get most of the house sorted.  It's a nice feeling not to be living in absolute chaos all the time.  There is still too much stuff but I've made a great headway.  It's a start!  Must keep it up!
The next thing I have to tackle is my weight.  I know I've been saying that since forever but I'm starting to see that my life is being compromised because of my weight.  I'm having problems with my feet, some days it is so painful just to walk a few meters.  So I guess I should do something! But I love my food, it comforts me, fills me when I feel empty, which is pretty often these days.  Time to grow up and be responsible for my actions.  This for me is the biggest problem with loosing weight, it's not so much the physical feeling of being hungry, that I can deal with!  It's the fact that I use food for comfort, when I'm tired, stressed, fed up or feeling miserable food, especially sweets, are there to cheer me up!  Which is great until I step on the scale or look in the mirror!  I need to look inside myself to deal with these problems in a more constructive way!
Need to sit down and talk to myself!

One Year

That's how long it has taken to get my bedroom cleaned and sorted!
This time last year David moved the furniture around.  We have 4 bedrooms so somebody has to share.  When hubby was alive we had the one room, Mikey and David had the biggest room while Hannah and Christopher had their own rooms.  After hubby died Hannah wanted to be with me, which is natural, so I decided that the boys could have their own rooms and Hannah and I would share the big room.  Great idea but moving things around took months.  Then my room became the dumping room.  Whenever there were things that we didn't know where to put they got dumped in my room.  After a year I forgot what the floor looked like.  Also my room is the last place I clean, the room for teaching gets done a lot,  the downstairs rooms get down, the kids rooms and finally my room.  By which time I have no energy!

The next problem is the garden.  One of hubby's friends is going to help.  I have ideas but don't know where to start.  I want to put grass and some nice flowers around the border.  One small place I want to grow a few vegetables and herbs, but not like before.  I don't have time for a high maintenance garden.  Simple and easy!

Hannah's Birthday

I think Hannah got totally spoiled for her birthday this year!
On Friday Mikey took to see CATS the musical.  This had been planned since February!  But what I didn't know was that Mikey planned to treat her a movie as well (her first time and she was 12).  So Friday morning Mikey and Hannah took off to the city.  They went to the Mall where the theater is and saw the Spiderman movie in 3D.  Hannah said it really woke her up.  Then they visited Mikey's friends shop and Hannah was given some money.  Then back to the mall for a special CATS cake and then the long awaited musical.  We managed to get seats on the balcony front row so they could see all of the stage.  Hannah was really impressed by it all and wants to go again!  At the end she got to shake hands with one of the Cats!
They got back really late, about 11pm.  Mikey had bought some snacks for everybody so we sat around eating, talking and laughing!
The next day I did a small party plus a birthday cake!  We watched a movie together and basically just hung out, enjoying each others company!  I'm glad my kids get on okay, for the most part!

Today Mikey and David have gone to the library.  I have to face the bedrooms.  They are really a thorn in my side, no matter how much time I spend trying to tidy up it never seems done!

A few pictures from Hannah's birthday!