Getting things done

Even though it has been five months since my husband passed away I am still dealing with things that were left undone by his sudden death! Credit cards, banks and post office accounts have to be closed or changed to my name!  I thought that it would be easy to do, but both emotionally and practically it has been a lot harder than I thought.  Emotionally I feel as through I am erasing hubby's existence, removing his name means that he really is no longer here and will not be coming back.  My head knows this but my heart refuses to go there.  To a life without hubby, it is hard to imagine, to believe.  Plus in Japan you are given 3 months to contact the Family Court to petition to have debts incurred by the deceased canceled.  Three months is too short, we managed it, basically because Mikey did most of the work, filling out forms, going to the city to drop of forms, filling out more forms and sending them places! 
The practical side has to do with all the forms that need to be filled out, having the right documents and Japanese stamp when changing accounts.  I've had to walk to the bank twice(half hour walk) because I didn't have the right stamp.  But I am finally seeing the light, maybe I can get these things finished1  I really hope so.
Also hubby's friend came and chopped down the trees in the yard.  They were over the neighbors side and when the wind blew one of the trees was knocking on the bedroom window.  It was a big job and I am so grateful to this friend for helping us out this way.  I have also decided to sell our car. hubby was planning on selling it this year, we have had it for 15 years, it is also a big 8 seater and I think it would be difficult for Mikey to drive.  That is going to be tough, the car was hubby's, it is in the carport and every time I see it I am reminded of all the places we went, the adventures we had in that car.  But these things have to be done.
Kids are okay.  They are driving me crazy with their silliness.  But I am glad that they can have fun and laugh together. They miss their Dad of course but he wouldn't want them mopping around.  I look out for signs of depression, or misplaced anger which is how grief can manifest but over all they are okay.  Hannah still has separation anxiety and I can't say I am sick in front of her or she has a panic attack.  Last week I had to go to the doctor, I had been running a low grade fever for a few days, nothing serious but it exhausted me.  Poor Hannah was so worried.  I took her to MacDonald's the next for a milkshake and talk.  She is okay now but she is one to watch!
Well I had better see to a few jobs.  It is raining here, so nice after the heat wave last week.