June was.......

......a very emotionally exhausting month for me!
The beginning was hubby's birthday.  18th marked exactly 18 months since he passed away.  The end of the month was 10 years since Mom died.  Not an easy month at all!
I'm glad that it has finished.  I am hoping things will get a bit easier emotionally.  There are always problems, things that to be done, never ending chores,  kids and the dog to take care of, that is enough for me.  I want to find a calmer place, I want to find joy.  I want to live the life that Hisao would want me to.  Not sleeping or escaping because I can't deal with things!
This summer I am going to challenge myself to do more.  Summers here are hard but I want to go places with the kids, do things together while we can.  When Hisao was alive we put off going places and doing things.  It was always later, next year!  He never got the later or next year so I am going to try and do things now.  Life gives you no guarantees, it only gives you now.  So I am going to do my best NOW!
The other day when I was really down, missing Hisao, missing Mom I found an old letter that Hisao sent me. At  the end of the letter he wrote "You don't have time to be depressed, work hard, study hard"  I felt this was his message to me.

One thing I want to do is get Christopher's and Hannah's English better.  They are okay but I hope over the summer to spend time reading with them more.  They read a lot in Japanese but not so much in English. 

On the weight lose front I did okay in June.  Somehow I lost 2kgs, not the five I was aiming for but considering my eating was bad most days it is a real miracle.  Try again this month!