Depression

 So it's started.

I've suffered from depression most of my life.  I understand now that there isn't that much I can do about it, just wait until it passes.

It's not just feeling sad, it's a feeling of having no energy whatsoever, even the easiest of tasks takes so much energy.  For example, this morning I vacuumed one room and felt exhausted!  Most days I can clean, cook, and teach.  I do take more breaks than I used to but I can get things done.  But since Saturday it has taken an effort just to get out of bed.  At first, I thought I was just tired from Friday's cleaning at the other house but then I realized that I had no interest in doing other things, even watching TV felt too difficult.

Part of this is our money situation.  We have no money at all.  I struggle each month just to make the bills. The kids help out but their wages are low, even working extra they still only make about  600 pounds (and that is a good wage).  Actually, most people in Japan need two jobs to make ends meet. One knock effect of this is that people aren't coming for English lessons.  We haven't had any new students at all this past month which is very unusual as April is the start of the school year here and parents want extra help for their kids.  We are still advertising, I've asked David to update our web page to include online lessons!  But we aren't the only ones not getting new students, a lot of similar small companies teaching English are struggling!

I've looked at making money online but everything is US or UK-centered, most companies won't pay to Japan.  Even doing things like surveys aren't available here, there are some in Japanese but I can't read that much.  I know they don't pay much but even getting a few Amazon gift cards would help pay for the cat food.

All the things I have to pay for at the other house weigh heavy on me!  I know that once we move there I will save on the rent money but I have to pay for things before we move there.  The bee hive (I think they are more like wasps) needs to be taken out.  The minimum cost is over 60 pounds, but the nest is in a place that is difficult to access, so maybe a lot more!  The cracks in the foundation need to be checked and sealed up before winter,  I have no idea that cost!

Then there's Hannah.  She is going to graduate school form next year.  I would to help her with buying things for her apartment. I know I don't have to but it would be nice!

The weather isn't helping either.  It's raining and starting to get humid!  

David with the cats!!!

I'll try to post something happier another day!!

David

 David has been working at an internet cafe for a few years now.

The place he works has individual rooms that can be rented, karaoke rooms, and other amusements.  They also serve meals, as long as it can be fried or done in the microwave.  The place is registered as a hotel and is near the highway exit.  When the weather is very bad (especially typhoons when the highway has to close) the cafe can get very busy.

He enjoys working there but has to put up with some rather interesting situations.  He told me that a least twice a month he has to call the police. 

Last summer an older man locked himself out of the room he was renting, that was no problem but he was wandering around in his underwear!

The other week a customer said the Wi-Fi had stopped working.  David said that he put the customer onto another computer while he checked what had happened.  The customer started on about the cafe being hacked and the Russians were behind it.  David laughed but then realized that the customer was serious.

Last week they had a very interesting customer!!

An owl!!  It just walked in and sat in the middle of the floor.

David managed to get it back outside, it was very sleepy.

After work, David went to check on it but it had gone.

Being Tested

 First of all, we had an earthquake Wednesday night.  The epicenter was in the sea between Kyushu and Shikoku.  The center was M6.6.  Here it was about an M3.  I had just fallen asleep when the earthquake alarm went off on my phone.  This is a good system but it's rather scary to be woken up by the phone shouting, in Japanese, there's an earthquake, there's an earthquake.  I didn't feel so much but the light was swaying like crazy.  My biggest problem with earthquakes is there unpredictability.  We get typhoons, which can be scary but at least I know when it will come and when it will finish.  I can prepare and then just wait out the storm.  Earthquakes just happen and when it's a big one there will be after shocks.

I am really trying to be positive about moving, but every time I go to the other house I find another problem. 

Yesterday I found that there is a bee hive under the house in the crawl space.  The bees are using the air vents to get in and out.  I need to deal with this quickly.  Also found more cracks in the base of the house.  There was a small crack before but it has grown and branched out, maybe Wednesday night's earthquake.  Again something that needs to be seen to sooner rather than later.  

David went on Friday and got a lot done.  He managed to get the horrible carpet up from the dining area.  He also burnt most of the stuff.  I could actually see some progress.  We have bags to take to the city trash place, which will be after the Golden Week holiday.  April is the month when many people move house so the trash place is very busy!

dining area is cleaned out

having a break

banana peel?

We got there before 8am by 9:30 I was tired and desperate for the toilet.  David and I went to the local supermarket and got some cold drinks and something to eat.  We sat outside, it was so nice, just the right weather to enjoy the quiet and bird song.  I'm thinking of taking down some of the bigger trees in front of the windows and making space for a BBQ, Christopher wants to build a pizza oven.

More lovely flowers.  It's going to take a lot of time and effort to get the garden back but something else to work on!

Again I think I overdid it!!  I ache and feel very tired but at the same time, I feel that we did a lot of good!!

I'm Trying

 I really am but Japanese bureaucracy drives me crazy.  I just want to give up and stay here!

We can't use the local city trash place because our address is in the next city.  It's a problem but we can use the trash place where we live, it just means driving a bit further.  The next problem is that we can't get the sewage system set up because we aren't living there.  That is crazy, even David explained that we are moving there in October and our address will officially change then they won't set up the sewage system.  So I would like to know how to clean the house without a place to throw out the dirty water.  I feel like screaming.  I was hoping not to have to go to the city hall but looks like I will have to spend a few hours filling out loads of forms to change my address before we move.  My experience with that city hall is not good at all.  It's a 20-floor building and trying to find the right department for things is a nightmare.  When my mother-in-law was in the hospital and needed to go into an old people's home David and I spent an hour going to different departments to get answers.  We finally gave up and asked at the hospital what to do.  They arranged a meeting with 10 other people, I asked who they were and what department they represented but they didn't answer, so I asked why are you here and again no answer.  We talked and only two people answered the questions we had.  Again bureaucracy gone crazy!!  The problem with my mother-in-law was that on paper she looked rich, she owned her own house and land but the reality was she had no money.  I still have a bad taste in my mouth from that.  Still, it looks like I'll have to go and see to it!

Yesterday Hannah got sick.  She woke up with a sore throat but no fever so she went to the nursery where she is working part time.  Came back at lunchtime with a 38C fever.  She has managed to sleep and feels a bit better today, her fever is down, which is good.  She always gets very high fevers, which is a worry. 

I'm also feeling rather done in.  I ache from all the cleaning at both houses plus my allergies have kicked in.  I'm coughing and sneezing plus I have ear ache.  I love spring but I could do without the allergies.

Alfie and Fluffy

These two got me into trouble the other day.  Hannah was sitting on this seat, I asked her to make some tea, as soon as she got up they got on.  I told Hannah to move them instead of moaning at me, she said that they looked too comfortable, so she sat on the floor!!

Oh Bother

I have another video to put on but I keep getting an error message.  I tried to edit it so that it's smaller but it didn't work.  I think I'll do a few more and then upload them to YouTube.  Looks like learning how to edit, do voice-over, and put on subtitles.  Might take a couple of weeks so be patient with me!

On the way back on Friday I stopped by a supermarket that I hadn't been into for years.  I was pleasantly surprised by the big selection of fresh fish!  Fish is popular in Japan but recently it has become very expensive and there doesn't seem to be as much selection as before!

I bought some cod (I think it was cod, it was a nice fleshy white fish) and made beer-battered fish for lunch on Saturday.  

Beer-battered fish

I usually do chips but the supermarket had these lovely big potatoes so I decided on baked potatoes and of course, green peas, which are hard to get here.  I've only seen them in one store!!

I'm making a roast for today's lunch, then I'm taking it easy!  I've already cleaned the windows and am doing a second load of laundry. The weather is nice but it's going to be rather warm this afternoon, up to 28C.   It's really spring!

Next week is going to be another busy week, I hope to get to the city hall tomorrow to sort out the sewage situation, and at least two days cleaning out the last trash from the other house.  Also, I want to do some more cleaning and sorting here.  I need a lot more energy!!  The kids are helping but they have work as well, so trying to do things around 5 different schedules is like a juggling act!

Blog vs Vlog

 I enjoy writing this blog.  I enjoy the process of writing, ordering my thoughts so they make sense to others, finding photos, and seeing the end result.  I also enjoy the feedback and help I've gotten from people.

Recently, however, I've noticed that vlogging is becoming very popular.  Maybe it's just me as I know vlogging has been around for a while but I haven't been so aware of it.

There are a few types of vlogs that I like to watch.  One is about Aikya, which, means an empty house.  These are properties where the owner has died and either there are no relatives to inherit the property or they aren't interested in the property.  Even though Akiya are found everywhere in Japan, the videos I have been watching are about young people who have bought these houses in the countryside, wanting a slow lifestyle after being burnt out in corporate Japan.  The houses themselves are cheap to buy but the new owners have to spend a lot to renovate the house.  The end result is a nice house in the countryside.  I like the time-lapse videos, one year in half an hour.  They also make the process look easy, which it isn't! 

The other ones I watch are Japanese ladies, two are closer to my age and the other is a mother with five young children.  The lady with five children has interesting recipes and I have gotten a lot of new ideas from her videos.

The two older ladies are living a slow life, enjoying gardening, cooking, and life in the countryside.  Again many ideas for cooking and gardening.  Also, they seem so happy and grateful for their lifestyle, something I need.

Yesterday when we went to the other house I decided that I should take some videos, maybe make a YouTube channel.  I mean how hard can it be?  A lot harder than I thought.  My first attempt had me tripping over things.  So I asked Christopher to do the video, while commentated.  That worked out a bit better but I really don't like my voice.  I've watched the video but turned the sound down.

Here is that video.

 A few things to point out.  The tatami room has the Buddhist altar in it, and the dining room has the Kamidana, the Shinto God Shelf.  Also when I'm showing the kitchen/ dining room from the bathroom there is a wall fan on the right-hand side that looks gray/black.  It's actually white!!  That's how much dust and dirt has accumulated in the house.  The piles of stuff in the dining room are about a quarter of when we started.  It took me ages to figure out what to do with the stuff that we can't burn.  Smaller things I've put into the city trash bags and bought them back here to dispose of.  The larger things we will take to the dump.  But I want to wait until after the Golden Week holiday.  April is the month that a lot of people move house so the trash place is very busy, up to an hour wait!  The last room is what all the rooms looked like when we started, so I think we've done well.

I also like the idea of having a record of what we are doing and how things are progressing.  Every time I go there I feel as if nothing has been done so being able to look back and see how far we have come might help!

This is going to be a learning curve but I think it will be good for me!

I took a few photos as well of the yard, as there are some beautiful flowers!

A lot of color!

What A Morning

At the other house, we have a load of trash that can't be burnt.   I've spent hours going down a rabbit hole of web pages to figure out how to get rid of this trash. I found the trash disposal place in the city where the other house is but we don't have ID for that city so we can't use it.  So I thought about leaving the trash until we move and get ID.  Then I realized that a lot of the stuff, plastic bowls, plastic baskets, glass bottles, and plastic bags are things I throw into the city trash bags that we use here.  In Japan, each city has its own trash bags,  we have to buy them and that is how the trash collection is paid for.  So this morning I filled 5 big bags and bought them back here.  Not the best thing but at least I got rid of some more stuff!!

This morning turned out to be rather crazy.

First I overslept.  I had set my alarm for 5:30 so I could make breakfast but I didn't get up until almost 6 o'clock!  I made Hannah a quick breakfast and decided to pick up something for Mikey, Christopher and myself on the way. 

The plan was to drop off Hannah at the train station and then go to the other house.  We took off but Mikey wasn't going toward the train station. I asked where he was going he said to the nursery where Hannah is working!  He had to turn round and dash to the station.  She made the train okay!

We got to the other house and started to burn stuff and put the other trash into the bags.  Filled up 6 bags.  I went to finish gathering stuff from the bathroom.  I found a newspaper that was used for covering the shelf, the date was 1994.  I had to carefully fold the newspaper as there was so much dust on it.  I was really getting into the swing of things, finding what I could do.  Suddenly Mikey appeared shouting for me.  He really knows how to make me panic.  He was shouting "Mom, Mom, we have a big problem"  Of course my first thought was something had happened to Hannah or David.  I went running outside ( I can run, especially if I think something awful has happened or I see a bug).  Mikey was looking at his phone, so I was really worried. He said that we had a volunteer class at one of the community centers near where we live at 10am, it was about 9:30, and it takes at least 40 minutes between cities.  We had no teaching materials, no lesson plan, nothing.  I was feeling rather grubby, covered in dust, and a bit sweaty. 

I think Mikey broke the speed limit on the way there.  But we got there just a few minutes late and did an okay lesson.  

So what I thought would be a good morning of cleaning turned out to be a rather chaotic morning.  Never mind!

Two of my husbands paintings are hanging in the bathroom.  I need them to find a better place for them but one is rather strange.

This is nice

This is the strange one!!