Of Hospitals and Vets

 First a disclaimer.  This is my experience and opinion.  

A while back I was speaking to one of my students about the hospital in this area.  She asked me about the hospital where we took my husband when he died.  I told her I would never use that hospital again.  When David collapsed a few years back the paramedics suggested that hospital and I said no, there are other hospitals that are the same distance from our house that I would prefer.

The student asked why I wouldn't use that hospital.  I explained that when we took my husband there we were treated very badly.  He died in the middle of the night.  I had no idea what to do but I knew that I would need a death certificate signed by a doctor.  So we called an ambulance that took us to that hospital, Mikey came with me, the other kids came by taxi later. I had no idea what would happen and I wanted them to have a chance to say goodbye.  By the time the doctor had finished, it was early morning, maybe 5am.  My husband's friend came as none of us could drive and we needed to get back home.  We were sitting there, I was in total shock and unable to think, I was also throwing up because of the shock.  Suddenly a nurse came storming down the corridor shouting about moving the body, basically saying to get the body out of here.  We had no idea how to do this, my husband's friend asked what to do, the nurse just shoved a phone book at him and walked off.  Then we were asked to move from where we were waiting as patients would be coming in.  We looked around and found a corner curtained off, a bit private.  We sat there for a bit until a nurse told us that this area was for emergencies only, I guess my husband dying wasn't an emergency.  We had to wait in the main waiting room, Hannah and Christopher were crying, I was feeling sick and Mikey just sat and stared ahead.  David had gone with my husband's friend to tell my mother-in-law.  I felt that there was no compassion and no respect for our grief.  Hannah was just 10 years old and having nurses shout and tut at us didn't help her at all.

I always said that if somebody's dog died I wouldn't expect them to be treated like that.

And I was right.  3 years ago, our dog Lucky got very sick very quickly.  She was old, 12, which is the average life span for a labrador dog.  She had thrown up once, then the next day she couldn't stand up.  At first, I thought it was because of the heat and her age.  We took her to an emergency vets.  This was in 2020, the height of the pandemic, so only Christopher could go in with her.  But when the vet realized that she would have to be put to sleep because she had cancer and her lung had collapsed they broke protocol and let David and I come in.  We sat with her, talked to her, and kept her calm as she gently fell asleep.  We were told to take our time, that there was no rush to leave.  When we did leave, I went to the receptionist to pay, she offered her condolences.  The staff then carried Lucky out to the car and laid her very carefully in the back.  We got in the car to leave, as we turned to leave 3 of the staff members were outside bowing to us  Very different experience from when my husband died.  Our grief was respected and the staff showed compassion.

I know that there are good and bad hospitals and vets.  I know that the staff at the hospital might of been stressed.  But the least they could do is set aside a small room for families to sit in, have a list of funeral homes typed out and laminated.  Small things like that make a big difference when you are hit with a sudden death.

Again this is just my experience.  This has been playing on my mind recently, maybe just time of year, next week will be 11 years since my husband died.

Lucky

She was a yard dog.  When the weather was bad we would bring her inside but she hated it.  She would sit by the window and cry!!!