Hisao's Birthday

 Today would have been Hisao's 64th birthday!

I just spent half an hour reviewing photos to include here. I was amazed at what I found. 

Somehow, my memories of our time together are of struggle. Of never having enough money, of having to teach all the time, and the kids being bullied in school.

All of that is true, and it did happen, but there were so many great times. Days out, trips to England, birthdays, and Christmases!

Here are some of the photos, in no particular order.

Outside the storage place here!

Top of the mountain overlooking where we live

I think these were taken when we first came to Japan. About 34 years ago!  Before kids.  I remember my plan was to stay here for 5 years and then go back to England. I don't think I told Hisao that!

Mikey, still in the hospital

Mikey is about a year old here.

Nice photo!

After the appointment to confirm my pregnancy, Hisao backed the car into a pole in the parking lot! He was so excited! I was excited, but so sick!

Hisao was a real hands-on Dad. I never gave the kids a bath when they were babies. Hisao always took care of that!

The caption with this photo says "Dad's birthday."

Maybe at the zoo

We went to different places a lot when the kids were little. The zoo was always popular. We didn't go to the movie theater so much, I'm not sure why, but we preferred to get videos to watch at home.  Some weekends we would get a couple of movies and have a nice movie evening.

The year with a beard

We went to England this year.

As we entered England, the kids and I went through the British passport control. Until they were 21, the kids had dual citizenship. Hisao had to wait and go through passport control for visitors to the UK.

This year, his passport photo had him looking very sinister! 

The kids and I were waiting near the counter. Hisao handed over his passport, the officer looked at it, then looked at Hisao. The officer asked the purpose of Hisao's visit. Hisao said he was visiting his in-laws with his wife.  The officer asked where I was. Hisao pointed at me, the officer called me over!  He asked if we were together. I answered yes, and then added, "And he has all the money". The officer laughed and stamped Hisao's passport!

With Hannah

I love this one

Hannah was almost a year old here.

As much as he loved the boys, Hannah brought a lot of joy to Hisao. Having a girl after three boys was such a different experience. Again, he was very hands-on with her. Being the youngest and only girl, he spoiled her. While he was alive, that was alright, I could be the strict parent, and he could be the parent who spoiled her. After he passed away, I had to do both, and that was hard. 

I often wonder what Hisao would be like now. What would he think of us living where he grew up? Would he be happy to be back here?  I know he would be happy at not having to pay rent!

I found a photo of the original house that was here. I think this was the first time I visited here.

The original house

The house now, well, last year!

I hope to have time to go through the photos, finish putting them into smaller albums. Maybe looking at them, I can remember the good times more!

Decluttering

 And how I failed at it!!

I was talking to David about how I used to be able to declutter when we lived at the other house. 

David said that it was all an illusion. I would pack up boxes, then put them in the storage room here. It got so bad that after my mother-in-law went into a care home, I turned the whole of this house into one giant storage place.

 I wanted to tell David that he was wrong, but I know he wasn't. So what's going on? Why didn't I get rid of all the stuff that we had?

Part of it, maybe a big part, is emotional,

I hold onto things to hold onto memories. To hold onto people that have passed away, onto times that are finished.

That might not seem too bad, but when we finally started to sort out the storage room, I had this idea that most things were from just a few years ago, maybe 10 years ago or so.

That illusion was shattered when I found boxes of clothes that I had from before I came to Japan, and I've been here for 34 years! Clothes from the 1980s!  I would never wear them again, I don't think I would ever fit in them again! Why was I keeping them? I felt some attachment to them, seeing them brought back memories, but I have a lot of photos from that time that bring back memories. Those I could get rid of, not easy, but I did it!

Other boxes that I opened had baby clothes. Mikey is now 33 years old, so why do I still have his baby clothes? Again, memories, but again, I have photos. These were harder to get rid of!  So I decided to choose two items from each child that I really loved and kept those. I kept all the knitted baby jackets and hats that my Mom made; those are too precious to throw away.

Other boxes had books, school books, toys, so many toys! Those were easier to let go of, again, I chose some that held special memories, the rest went!

Part of keeping things has to do with the feeling that I will never get things again. If I throw out this T-shirt, I don't have anything to replace it with, and I might not be able to get another one! I know that doesn't make sense, but because I'm obese, getting nice clothes is difficult. It's easier now as there are catalogues that cater to plus-size people that aren't too expensive, but I still have this feeling that I won't be able to buy anything else! In my closet now I have a load of clothes that I don't wear, either they are the wrong size or they don't suit me, but I won't throw them out because I might need them.

Also, there is this feeling of mottainai, another good Japanese word. It means what a waste. It has the feeling of regret over wasting something. I think this might be another blog post!!

That's the emotional side of things, and I'm really trying to deal with that! 

The other part is the practical side of disposing of stuff. Where does all this trash go?

Recycling has caught on in Japan, but it is so different from the UK. In the UK, there are a lot of charity shops that take your unwanted items and then sell them on to make money for their charity! Japan has recycle shops. The big ones near here are Hard Off, 2nd Street, and Flys. Hard Off takes most things. I sold most of my mother-in-law's clothes; 90% of those clothes were never worn, and still had the original tags on them. I didn't get much money, but it felt good to let them go to a place where somebody else could use the items. But most recycling shops only take name-brand goods to resell. So, what to do with all the stuff that I've kept over the years?

There are some collection places where you can just dump old clothes, but you have to sort out anything that might have plastic on it! I think these are sent to landfills or burned at the local trash incinerator!

We are lucky because we can burn things here. When we were cleaning out before we moved in, we would have a big fire at least 4 times a week. Even now, we are still burning stuff.

Another problem is getting rid of large items. In Japanese, this is called sodai gommi, large trash. You have to get a sticker from the city hall and make an appointment for a truck to pick it up. It does cost, but each city is different! I think here it's about 5,000 yen, about £25.

Electrical appliances are another category. I usually ask the shop that I'm buying from to take my old appliances. 

One category that I haven't figured out is plastic. We have piles of plastic buckets, bowls, crates, boxes, etc, that I have no idea what to do with! I think they can go to the local incinerator, but we need some ID to show we live in this city!

So I failed at decluttering. Dumping everything here was good, out of sight, out of mind! Now that we live here, I'm constantly reminded of my failure.

We did empty out the storage room, but when we moved here, our extra things went into the storage room. Moving from a house that had 6 rooms plus a kitchen, living, and dining room to a 3-room kitchen, dining room house meant that there is a lot that just doesn't fit in this house.

I didn't think it was that bad until I took some of the heavy winter blankets up the other day!

This is our storage place now!

The scary stairs

boxes

Bit blurry, sorry, but so much stuff

more stuff 

And yet more

The drawers at the back are empty, so I'm planning on putting off-season clothes in there, which might save some space. 

I need to get in there with one of the kids to move things for me. Some of those boxes are very heavy!

I will get this done!!

Hospital

 Yesterday was my appointment for the "big check-up", at least that is what I call it!

Every 3 months, I have to check my blood for cancer markers, diabetes, and have my blood pressure checked. The doctor then prescribes me another 3 months' worth of medicine, sometimes changing my prescription if needed.

Once a year, I have to undergo a major check-up.  This includes a mammogram, CT scan, echo scan, blood work, and a pee test!

This year was year 7! I know that for most cancers, you have to be checked for 5 years, then if the cancer hasn't come back, you are considered cancer-free. But I had a special cancer that needs to be monitored for 10 years!

I don't like going to the hospital; it's "mendokusai", a lovely Japanese word that I use a lot, which means it's a lot of trouble! One of my students told me that life is mendokusai!! The tests aren't painful or intrusive, but the waiting gets me!

The hospital I go to is very efficient, you aren't waiting around for hours, unless there has been an emergency! The staff are good, they get you through the different tests are quick as possible.

One thing that always gets me is when I have the mammogram, I'm squished into this machine, barely able to breathe, when the technician says, "Please, don't move!" I'm thinking that moving would be impossible, and the last thing on my mind. Yesterday, she had to take the same image twice as she wasn't happy with the first image. I'm squished into this machine, feeling very uncomfortable. The technician says again, "Please, don't move!" I'm trying to distract myself by thinking about something else when the thought pops into my head, what happens if there is an earthquake!! Why? Am I the only one who thinks like this?

One thing I did yesterday was to talk to the doctor about my insomnia!  I told him that falling asleep isn't the problem, but staying asleep is! Most nights, I sleep for about 2 hours, then wake up. Once I'm awake, it's difficult to sleep again. If I do, it's a very light sleep, which means I don't feel rested! He prescribed me some mild sleeping tablets! He said to use these until I get a good daily rhythm.

Whenever you get medicine in Japan, you are given a paper with information about the medicine and any side effects. 

The list of my tablets

The first three on that list I've been taking for a while, so I know the side effects! The last one is the sleeping tablets. Using Google Translate on my phone, I read through it last night. One side effect of the sleeping tablets is that they might make you feel drowsy! I thought that was the whole purpose of sleeping pills!

Another thing the doctor was asking about was sleep apnea. I know I snore, I wake myself up, but I have no idea if I have sleep apnea. The doctor suggested that I get checked for that! To do that, the hospital will send a machine to my house. I have to wear the machine overnight and then send it back to be analyzed. The nurse who was showing us the instructions for the machine was worried because they were in Japanese. Christopher said it was no problem as he could translate for me. Just as we were about to leave, the nurse came chasing after us. She said that she had found the instructions in English and asked if I would prefer that! Of course, I said yes! I thought it was nice of her to check and see if they had English instructions!

Just a couple of photos of the hydrangeas.

Almost in full bloom!

Koromagae.....Changing Clothes

 It's June and I'm cold. This is so strange!

I'm not complaining! The longer it stays cold or cool, the better for me. I know that once the heat and humidity start, I'll be dying!

It's just weird!  I'm used to June being the start of summer, but it still feels like spring!

I remember when I first came to Japan, my husband told me that we have to change over our clothes from winter clothes to summer clothes. I was rather confused by this idea. In England, I was used to having a couple of cardigans or sweaters in my closet in the summer. English summers tend to be rather changeable. 

I soon realized that in Japan, you really don't need any winter clothes in the summer. Maybe a light cardigan if you go somewhere that has the air conditioning on high, Hannah always carries one as the classrooms in her university get very cold!

The changing of clothes to fit the season is called koromogae (衣替え). Which literally means "changing clothes"

This is done at the beginning of summer and winter.

In schools and workplaces, uniforms are changed in June, from the heavy winter uniforms to lighter, more breathable uniforms, and then back again in October.

At home, families clear out the off-season clothes. For me, it's a chance to send the heavy winter futons and coats to the cleaners. 

When the kids were little, I used this time to go through the clothes, check for damage, see if the clothes would be too small by next year, and basically declutter.  

A funny story! One year, I was sorting Hannah's summer clothes and was wondering if a dress would fit her next year. As I was doing this, Mikey came into the room. I looked at him, held the dress in front of him, and said, "Hannah, do you think this will fit you next year?" Mikey rolled his eyes and walked out!!!

This tradition came from the imperial court in the Heian Period, 794-1185. The aristocrats of that time had strict clothing customs; their clothes followed the seasons, and each season had its own rituals.

Samurai warriors in the Kamakura (1185-1333) and Edo Period (1603 -1868) adhered to changing their clothes with the seasons. This idea filtered down to the common people.

In the Meiji Period (1868-1912), uniforms were introduced in schools, government offices, and businesses. June and October were set as the months to change clothes.

There are so many products today to help store clothes, especially in the hot, humid summer. 

Breathable fabric storage boxes to stop moisture buildup. 

Dehumidifiers are essential during the rainy season. 

Moth repellents, very important. I had a student who had bought a very expensive cashmere sweater. She put it away for the summer but didn't put in the moth repellent. When she opened the box in the winter, her beautiful sweater had holes in it!

Every year, there are more new products to help keep clothes fresh in storage!

I was thinking of changing my clothes this week, but I think I'll wait a bit. 

Cats snuggled up together.

This is how I know if it's cold or not! Cats snuggled together means it's cold!!!

Ready

 I finally got my classroom set up.

This was the tatami room a couple of weeks ago. Just an empty space. I know that in Japan, it's common to have a room that's empty, essentially for guests to visit. This room was only used two or three times a year, for New Year's family gatherings, Obon, the festival to welcome the ancestors back in the summer, and for memorial rites of those who had passed away.

I always felt that it was a waste of space. When we moved here, I thought about changing this to a living room, but never got round to it! Which, I guess, is a good thing because I need a place to teach.

Today, David and Christopher got the furniture out of storage and set up the room for me.

Looks a lot better. I want to move the teaching materials into the cupboards. I think the only other thing to do is to tidy up the doors and screens that the cats have scratched up. 

The garden is going to take a lot longer to do, but I feel that is going to be an ongoing thing. We cut back the trees, pull up weeds, it rains, and everything has grown back!

I'm excited to start this little school. I really hope to get students!  This reminds me of the movie "Field of Dreams," where the farmer is told to build a baseball field. He is told, "build it and they will come!". I've built it, prepared my classroom, so I really hope they come!

May

 Even though I don't see much progress in the garden or getting my classroom set up, May has been very busy!

The few days' holiday at the beginning of the month was nice. Having Hannah home for a while was enjoyable. We talk every day, but just having her here was good for me!  I could take her shopping for her birthday when she came, and before she left, I could take her grocery shopping! I wanted to watch some musicals with her, but we were both sick and she had a lot of studying to do!

Hannah managed to order tickets for the Les Misérables Concert Tour. She called me a week after she ordered them and told me she had made a mistake with the credit card! To buy these tickets, she got another credit card. I think it's easier for her to budget that way. When she said she had a problem with the credit card, I imagined all sorts of things, such as being charged too much or not having enough money in the bank. She went on to explain that she had gotten a Mastercard. I told her that it was great, as Costco takes Mastercard. Her answer was, "That's the problem!"  I guess she won't be going to Costco with me!!

I posted that the rainy season had started. But not here. We've had a bit of rain, but not the weeks of nonstop rain!

I've noticed that the hydrangeas are coming into bloom. We have some out back, but they have just started to bloom. I'll try and get some photos when they are fully bloomed!

We've had a few really nice sunsets recently.

From my window, a lovely sunset

One thing that I'm going to challenge myself to do is to have a morning routine!

When the kids were in school, I used to get up, get breakfast, make lunch if the kids needed to take lunch. Put the laundry on, do dishes, clean, and then make something for lunch that could be served at dinner when I was busy!

Now I get up, take my medicine, have breakfast, and go back to bed or sit and watch YouTube for ages! Not good! 

I need a good routine, not just a busy doing-chores routine, but something that sets me up for the day. I'm thinking along the lines of making my bed as soon as I get up, getting dressed, and then having breakfast.

I want to start journaling, especially a gratitude journal. 

I have a few ideas that I'm going to try. Once I have a nice routine, I'll post it here! One thing that I do need to do is getting chores done early, it's getting warm, and I know once it gets hot, doing any housework will be hard!

June!! Hard month, Hisao's birthday and Mom's passing. But this year I'm going to open my English school here, and I hope I do well!

Wish me luck!

Not Ready!!

 I really thought that I would have everything sorted by now! I hoped that by the end of May, I would have my classroom set up and some of the garden cleaned out.

But of course, nothing is ready.

I think procrastination is a big problem for me. I always say I'll do it later or tomorrow. But, as my Mom always reminded me, tomorrow never comes.

Why do I do this to myself? 

I did this when we had to move out of the old house. I put off packing, cleaning, and moving until the last moment. Part of that was hoping that we wouldn't have to move! Then made myself sick by trying to do everything at once.

I'm doing the same again. I've put off setting up my teaching room until now because I just didn't want to clean and move furniture. I've put off and made excuses for not doing the garden, either the weather is bad, or I'm tired, but it has to be done!

Anyway, I managed to get the carpet moved into the tatami room. I got Christopher to do most of the work.

Of course, the cats have claimed the carpet for their own!

Cats are claiming the carpet

I'm amazed at how good this carpet looks.  This carpet is about 60 years old. It was in my husband's bedroom when he was a child. I've had it for the past 34 years. Tea, coffee, and cocoa have been spilled on it. I've used it in my classroom for the past 20 years, where kids have thrown up on it and peed on it, but it still looks good. I'll give it a good vacuum and wash it down with some hot water and laundry detergent to refresh it a bit.

I just had a walk outside. I needed to get some fresh air.

I've decided what I need to get done soon and what can wait a bit.

I really want to clean up the entrance and driveway.

our driveway

This is from the road. You can't see the house at all. So I want as much as this to be cut back.

Opposite view

All those branches that have been cut down need to be moved and burned. 

Misty Mountains

I had to get a photo of the mountains. The clouds are very low, I think we will be getting rain this evening!

One good thing is that we are seeing some Japanese plums. David picks them and makes this really nice drink for the summer.

Can you spot the plum?

I have a lot to do! I keep telling myself baby steps. I will get there! One day! As long as it's baby steps forward and not one step forward and two back!

Tomorrow I plan on going to the next town to put some leaflets. I hope to go early morning. I'll let you know if I get that far!