Can't Win

 I'm trying so hard to be positive.

So before the reason I feel defeated, yet again, I'll post something good!

This morning Mikey, Christopher and I went back to the other house.

Got Mikey and Christopher started on the office in the storage room. It was very bad, I explained what I wanted doing but didn't check when we finished, I'll have a look next time!

Managed to clean the windows in the engawa, the windows are divided by a trim. Small windows that don't open on top and large sliding windows on the bottom. They were filthy!

This was the water after I finished!!!

From the windows and trim

I guess they have never been cleaned!!

Also I saw a lot of these little guys.

Tiny lizards

In just a few minutes I saw 4 of these little things.

I have no idea how to get them out of the house! They don't bother me but I really don't like things creeping around the house. I wonder if the cats will deal with them.

I've almost finished setting up my reading area.

My reading area

Opposite end

View from my reading area

The chair in there is an old massage chair. I want to buy a nice, comfortable chair but am willing to wait until I have money and can find what I want. I want a nice reading light on the table. I can imagine spending afternoons in there, with a good book, a cup of tea and cats for company. I'm planning on putting some bird feeders out, entertainment for the cats!

And the reason I feel I can't win?  Hannah got a letter from her university, she has to pay 33,0000 yen, almost 2,000 pounds for her college tuition!

She had scholarships but because she's been working part-time she lost one scholarship. Poor girl. She has worked hard, to the point of making herself ill but is being penalized for it. One reason she has had to work is because I can't help her, also she has been saving to move to her own apartment for graduate school. I'm racking my brain trying to figure out if I can get some money from somewhere, maybe a bank loan?

She will have to go and see if she can get some help or divide the payments.  She was hoping to have time this week to do her thesis and prepare for her next teacher training. 

Time Flies!!!!

 It's the end of September!  I keep thinking it's still August, maybe because it is still hot, although not as intense as it was!

We now have 38 days until we move. I know we can stay until January 2025 but I really want to be in the other house before it gets very cold.  Also I want to stop paying rent here so I can use that money buy things for the other house.

David, Christopher and I went again yesterday.  I managed to put away a lot of things that we have bought over, photo albums and five more boxes of books.  I've been struggling with where to put our teaching materials, we have a lot of books, flash cards and prints that we use. At first I was going to put more book shelves in the tatami room but decided to clear out the office in the storage area. I don't want to teach at the house, the house is just too small for that. I think we will use community centers, if we get enough students then we can think about renting a place. That is all up in the air at the moment. A lot depends on what Mikey wants to do. I would be happy to get a few online students. I really want to stop working but have no pension and no savings. If I could work for a few more years and save money then I could just retire, again, something that I need to think about.

David cut down a lot of the trees, weeds and bushes. Looks a lot better.

Last week

This week

Not much difference in the photos but it is a lot clearer.

Also I found a nice picture that I want to put in the entrance.

Picture I found

    

Most of the things that were on the walls were not to my taste but I like this picture. It's simple and beautiful.  I'm thinking of buying a few frames and putting some photos on the walls. The tatami and corridor are typical Japanese walls, in this awful green color. 

Green walls

Not very clear on this photo, I'll try to take some photos next time. I want to paint these walls, another project for when we have money!  But until then I'll put up some pictures and photos!!

I'm tired but have a lot to do.

Just another month! Help!!!!

David's Car

 David works nights so he sleeps from about 1 o'clock.  On Monday he asked Hannah to listen for the phone as he was expecting a delivery and somebody had to sign for it!

Hannah and I thought it strange, David orders the cat food and cat sand but we never have to sign for it. We were wondering what David had ordered that was so important that somebody had to sign for it!

I was talking to my friend on the phone when the door bell rang. Hannah answered it and came back with a piece of paper. She said that there was a car outside and that was the delivery! I hung up my phone and went to see, and sure enough there was a car parked in front of our house!

Apparently David had gone ahead and bought a car. He had been talking about it for a few months. He had to get a loan and I thought he was still thinking about it! He never said he had bought one!

It's a little van type car. Rather old, about 10 years but it was a company car so well maintained. Also it had it's roadworthy test just a month ago, so all the parts work.

The weird thing is the key is not an automatic key, you have to put the key in the door to unlock it. Also the windows are the old fashioned kind with handle that you have to wind up and down.

But it's nice and spacious which will help with the move and once we live in the other house it will be good for taking equipment to the fields that need to be cleared!

David's car, Mikey is moving it off the road!

We are now a two car household!

We drove in David's car to the other house yesterday.  I was having problems with the window handle.

Haven't seen these in years

It's more effort than I remembered to open the window. David was trying to demonstrate how to open the window, while he was driving. But he hit his elbow very hard on the door frame. This led him to not driving properly as he was rocking back and forth in pain.  We stopped at a red light, David moved his knee and knocked the gear shift out of drive into 2nd gear.  I was laughing so hard I was crying!!

From the side!

We got a lot done at the other house yesterday. The intense heat has broken, still hot but 30C is easier to deal with than 38C!

I've was trying to clean out the tatami room and the engawa, which I'm turning into my reading nook.

View from the engawa

I want to cut down as many of those trees as possible, and put in some bird feeders. I think this little area is going to be nice! But I've discovered that what I thought was a ledge around the room and engawa is actually very deep, great place for all kinds of insects, lizards and mice! I tried to clean it yesterday but I wasn't very confident on the ladder. 

With having two cars we can go more often to the other house. Mikey uses the other car for work, so that means even if David is free we couldn't go. I really hope that we can get things done before the end of October!!

Hannah

 Last Thursday Hannah had a seizure!

All started just after lunch. Hannah and I share a bedroom. She was lying on her bed, I was on mine reading. She suddenly raised her hand, as if stretching. At first I thought it was nothing unusual, but I noticed her fist was clenched. I called her name, asking what she was doing, but no response.  I went over to her as she arched her back and pulled her knees up. The movements were strange. I screamed for help as I realized she was having a seizure. The boys came running I told them to call for an ambulance. As I was saying this her body relaxed and started to shake. I kept her on her side until that had finished, I then rolled her onto her back to rub her chest to wake her up. No response, David was her bed by that time, calling her name, getting her to sit up.  She opened her eyes but was out of it! I asked her what day it was, no response. David asked her birthday, she said May but nothing else. She was totally unresponsive and unfocused. We tried to keep her awake but she kept closing her eyes. 

After what seemed like a life time but was probably just a few minutes the ambulance came. I'm sorry to say this is when I totally freaked out, I was shaking and felt faint. Mikey held my hand and helped to breathe through my panic attack. 

They loaded her into the ambulance and we went to the hospital I had spent the whole morning at the day before.  

I was in such a state the nurse was asking if I needed to see a doctor, I told her I would be alright, just needed some time to process what had happened. 

They were very thorough in their exam.  I'm not sure of all the tests they did but there was a CT scan, heart check and some check on the nervous system.

After a few hours she was admitted to the hospital for the night, just to keep an eye on her. 

We went up to ward with her, then came all the forms for that had to be filled out. Mikey took care of that.

By the time she was settled it was after visiting time but I asked if I could just go in to say goodbye and see that she was alright. At first the nurse said no but he asked the charge nurse who said a couple of minutes was okay.

Hannah said she had no memory of the fit and couldn't figure out why she was in the ambulance when she woke up! 

She was discharged the next day. The doctor said that she couldn't rule out epilepsy but she didn't think that was what it was.  It might have been a combination of the heat, exhaustion and stress that triggered the seizure. She might have more or never have another episode. 

One big stress for Hannah was the test for graduate school that she took on Saturday. The plan was for Mikey to drop her off, the test started at 8:30, then she was going to come back by train. But Mikey decided to wait in the city and bring her back by car. That helped my stress level a lot.

I haven't slept properly since she had the seizure. Every time she turns over I wake up and she is a restless sleeper!

I realize that I can't cope with these things. Hearing the ambulance pull gave me flash backs to when Hisao passed away. A sense of hopelessness came over me and that is what started my panic attack.

I'm exhausted now but need to push to get things done, moving day is creeping closer!

At least the weather has cooled down, it's just 26C today, high will be 30C. Still hot but bearable!

I hope my next post is not so dramatic, I really don't need this drama in my life.

google collage of Hannah and me

 

Hospital Visit

 Yesterday was my 3-month check-up for diabetes.

This appointment is not invasive; it's just a blood test. Nice and easy but I still dread going!

The hospital is not overly large but has its own lab, so you don't have to wait for a week for results. It also has a CT scan, X-ray, and MRI machines available plus to state of the art operating rooms.

I've been going there for about 6 years now and have gotten to know some of the nurses, they know to use simple Japanese with me.

But every time I have an appointment I dread it. It's the waiting that does me!  Yesterday I waited for two and a half hours to talk to the doctor for about 2 minutes!

I know that I'm lucky, this was just to check on my A1C number for diabetes. The good news is that it has gone down a bit, this time was 6.1, normal range is between 4.6 and 6.2.  I am still taking medicines but am heading in the right direction.  At my last appointment, I was asked to check my blood pressure every day, turns out that it is a bit high, about 140 over 85. So I was given medicine for that as well.

So I waited for most of the morning just to get a prescription. I shouldn't complain as I know that in some countries just getting to see a doctor is impossible.

The one problem I have is seeing all the old people who are there. It makes me so sad to see some of them, they are barely alive and I wonder what quality of life do they have.  I wonder if that will be me if a few years time. I hope not and I know that the only way to have a good quality of life as I get older is to take responsibility for my health now.  Not just my physical body but my mind as well.

So I have to try and reduce stress in my life, be more focused on the good that I have and stop with the moaning and victim mentality, easier said than done.  Find things to be grateful for, find humor in situations, learn to laugh at myself and all the dumb things I do. Keep my mind active by studying and reading. Find hobbies that relax me. 

At the moment my stress is high because of moving, just the logistics of that is driving me crazy. I would love to have a week or so where nobody has any commitments, no work, no classes so we could just go and get every thing finished but that isn't go to happen, so we have to work around other commitments and try to get things finished in the short time we have.

A few photos of the area near the hospital. Opposite is the Coke Cola factory!

It was another hot day!  One city, about 20 minutes drive from here ,recorded 60 days of temperatures over 37C! That's crazy!

The Storage Area

 At the other house, we have a large storage area. It consists of a two-story storage room, big enough to park a small truck inside, a covered carport area, and another large garage.

I haven't been out there for the past few months, all my energy has been getting things out of the house.  I assumed that most of the stuff I was throwing out was going into the trash or being burnt.  Some things I asked to be put into the storage area to deal with later, a lot of old ornaments, that aren't my style, large lacquer boxes that are used for the New Year Osechi-ryori, the traditional New Year's food and other bits and pieces that we can take to a recycle shop when we have time.

What I didn't realize was how bad it is in some places!

David sent me some photos!

Outside

The building in the back is the two-story storage area.

Downstairs in the storage area

This was an office

I thought we had almost finished until I saw these photos. My focus was on emptying the house, I never thought to check the outside.

I hope that the weather will cooperate and be a bit cooler so I can work (supervise!!) getting this cleaned up as well.  

It's not that important, not like getting the house clean but it would be nice to have it finished or at least almost finished before we move.

I hope to move during the first week of November, which is just 50 days away!

HELP!!!!

If we could go two or three times a week I would have more confidence that things could be finished but going just once I'm doubtful.  

Just keep on I guess!

Relentless

That is the only way to describe the heat! 

Yesterday was up to 38C. Today was about 36C but we had a thunderstorm for about three hours. It feels a little cooler but not much, and it is very humid!

Went to the other house this morning, tried to get there early.  I thought we would have a few hours before it got too hot but by 8 am it was 31C.  We did a lot, cleaned out the last room, just need to do the floor in there.  Emptied out a few more boxes of books. I'm surprised at how many books I still have, I've thrown away and given away so many but still seems to be a lot. I think once we are settled I can go through them again and see if I can get rid of more!  

Found a couple of friends, a massive cockroach, that had me screaming and yelling for help. I found the spray and managed to kill it. I really hate bugs, cockroaches make my skin crawl!

The other friend was a spider.

Big spider

I have no idea why but these don't bother me. I would rather they stay outside but unlike bugs, they don't make me scream!

Did a bit of shopping on the way back. Even in the cheaper supermarket the fruits and vegetables were expensive. I bought a few things but not as much as I usually do.  One good thing is that rice is back on the shelves, a bit more expensive than before, I hope that the price will settle soon.

I took a couple of photos from the supermarket parking lot.

bike store opposite the supermarket

supermarket sign board

I was amazed at how fast those clouds turned dark, just a couple of hours after these photos we had an intense thunderstorm.

clouds gathering over the mountains

On the way back I could see the storm clouds gathering over the mountains!

Full Moon

The storm has blown over and left us with a beautiful full moon!

Struggling

 This time it's my weight.

I go up and down the same two kilos. This seems to be normal for me, then my weight goes down a kilo and the same thing happens. For the past few months, I have been between 94 and 95 kilos. In the past week however, my weight has gone up, only a kilo but if I don't do something I know that kilo will call its friends, then I'll be in trouble.

I know what to do, stop sugar, cut carbs and fatty foods, stay away from processed foods, eat more vegetables, low-fat protein, and for a sweet treat have fruit.

I don't believe in diets, every time I've tried diets I've put on weight as restricted eating isn't sustainable. I tried the Atkins diet put on 5 kilos and got gallstones!!

I'm trying to be mindful of what I eat!  I don't count calories as I don't know how many calories are in certain foods in Japan. Hannah checked how much rice I can have, because of my diabetes,160 grams per meal, which is more than I usually eat!

The problem at the moment isn't to do with knowing what to eat or even the motivation to eat healthy, the problem has to do with the price of food.

I understand that the harvest this year has been bad, all types of vegetables and fruits are a lot more expensive than usual. The extended intense heat we are experiencing isn't helping at all!

For example, two small cucumbers were 400 yen, the usual price is 100 yen, and lettuce that had about ten leaves was 300 yen, twice the normal price.  Fruits are even more expensive, a bunch of grapes cost 1300 yen. About 7 pounds!

So instead of buying vegetables, I've had to buy more carb based foods, things that are filling and cheap, and have vegetables as a small side dish.  We are eating a lot of rice, noodles, and bread.  I would love to have a chicken salad, with a load of fresh greens, but to make that for me would cost the same as I pay for a meal for all of us!  So instead I make chicken sandwiches, that way I can spread a few vegetables out more.

I'm trying to make overnight oats for my breakfast, that helps. For other meals, I try not to eat too many carbs but there just isn't enough vegetables to fill me up. Once this heat stops I can start making soups and stews, one way of making vegetables stretch further.

Until then I guess just try to make things that are lower calories but filling. I've been using a lot of tofu recently, those fluffy tofu with chives that I wrote about before have become a favorite!  

Also I must start to exercise again. I've been doing a few stretches but not consistently.  I was shocked at how much pain I was in after walking around on Tuesday. According to the app I have I did just over 9000 steps. Surely doing that many steps shouldn't leave me feeling like I had been hit by a truck! So I'm going to get back into my chair exercises. I think between that and all the work with moving I should be able to maintain my weight.  

One exercise I am getting is chasing the cats! They still manage to get into things they shouldn't! But of course, they are cute.

Toast and Alfie

Fred, sulking

Mama sleeping

Fluffy dropping a hint!

Jesus Christ Superstar

 Yesterday Hannah and I went to the city to watch Jesus Christ Superstar.

The show started at 6:30 but Hannah wanted to do some shopping and have a look around for a bit first. We arrived at about one o'clock. Did a bit of window shopping, and went to the bookstore where Hannah bought some books, we wanted to have a late lunch/early dinner so went in search of a restaurant that Hannah had been to before, but, of course, we got lost! 

Train stations in the larger cities are massive, most have department stores, stores, and restaurants built onto the station. Hakata Station is the biggest in Kyushu. The train station has 8 platforms for regular trains, 4 platforms for the Shinkansen, and access to the subway system. There is a bus station in the next building.

The station itself is home to three department stores, that are 11 stories high, and there is a massive basement system that is like a maze, it's so easy to get turned around.  

I love this place but it frustrates me no end. I just want to go to a few places, that should be easy to find but one wrong turn and you can end up wandering around for ages! 

We had a good walk around. Found some lovely shops and a food floor that I would love to go back to but have no confidence that I could find again. This food store had a counter selling real cheese, blocks of cheese! I wanted to buy some but it was a bit expensive!  Next time?

We finally found the restaurant by going back to where we started from and turning right instead of left. The restaurant was just a 5-minute walk, around the corner from where we started from!

The meals we had were really nice. I think this place caters to an older crowd, traditional Japanese cuisine. 

Hannah's lunch

And mine

Hannah had sashimi, raw fish, on rice with miso soup. I had an assortment of different things, mackerel, tofu, sashimi, and some vegetables, with rice and miso soup.  Both were very nice, filing, and good value for money.

I liked the use of the jars to decorate

waiting for lunch

After lunch, we decided to head to the theater, another adventure. The theater is in a shopping mall, just a few minutes walk from the station. Most times we walk but yesterday it was pouring down and there was thunder about. We used the subway, it's just one stop from the train station.

By the time we got there, I was in agony! My knee was throbbing and my back really hurt. I was soaking wet with sweat, it was dripping off my face.  I had two hand towels with me, both were wet by this time. I did manage to have a look around a vintage clothes store. Made me a bit sad that things from the 1970s are now vintage!! I enjoyed the music they had playing, really my era! Maybe I'm vintage as well!

We went and waited outside the theater. I was happy to see a few mothers and daughters together. It's a nice thing to do together!

Hannah was all excited because they had leaflets for Phantom of the Opera, which is coming next year,

Next year

Once inside the theater, we could see the cast board, Hannah was very excited as some of her favorite musical actors were playing.

The cast for Jesus Christ Superstar

The theater is new and very nice. We had good seats on the balcony, right at the front. Before the show started we were allowed to take photos. Most of the time that is not allowed, something about the copyright of the stage set.

View of the stage

The pamphlet that Hannah bought

The show itself was impressive!  I think the story of the Passion of Christ is difficult to tell, regardless of the medium used. The musical itself captures the heart of Jesus, Judas, and the disciples very well. I don't think these people are easy to portray, especially for actors who don't have a Christian background. How to be sensitive in portraying somebody who is central to a religion that is adhered to by billions of people? I think it would be easy to over-act the part of Jesus, but the actor in this play managed to bring Jesus to life in a very realistic way, you could feel the despair and determination of Jesus as He face the crucifixion. I've watched this musical in English several times and know the storyline, that's why watching in Japanese isn't a problem. In the English productions I've watched I was never really moved by the death of Judas, but in this production, his death is really moving, I felt the despair of Judas as he descended into madness before he killed himself!  

As always, the show felt too short. It's just over two hours, but it felt as if it had just begun when it finished.  I was shocked to go outside and find it was dark.

We got back to the station feeling a bit peckish, so grabbed a bite to eat and then went to get the train back. 

I was glad to get home. I really enjoyed my day, just being with Hannah for the day, window shopping and restaurant lunch was so much fun. But I'm paying for it today.  I'm so tired and my legs are killing me. I want to travel a bit but if just going into the city is this exhausting I don't know that I can. I guess I should get back into exercising and try to lose more weight!

Hannah and I looking good before we went out!

MAD

 The weather, not me!!

I had an excessive heat warning on my phone today.  The high was 36C, a real feel of 37C. This is September, it should be cooling down but it isn't!

Tomorrow's forecast is for "guerrilla rain", it's a term that has been coined by the Japanese media to describe a sudden heavy downpour of rain, many times accompanied by thunder! These are storms that come on with little to no warning.  If we do get that tomorrow it might help to cool things down a tiny bit.

Again, David, Christopher, and I went to the other house.  I managed to empty three big boxes of books and get them onto shelves. I've found that there are a lot of ledges that run around the top of the rooms, over the doors and cupboards, in the tatami room there is a ledge all the way around the room, I think it was to hang pictures from. The problem is that they have never been cleaned, 33 years of dust waiting for me!!

We spent time in the kitchen/dining area. This will be the main area for us, the other rooms will be bedrooms, so we want to make this as nice as possible. I had kept some dishes, soup bowls, and cups that my mother-in-law had. Even after throwing away a lot, there are still far too many, so another look through and dumping of stuff. I did find a lovely set of cups that I want to keep.

Nice find!

I can imagine having a nice cup of tea or cocoa in them, using the lid to keep it warm. The saucer is like a little tray, just the right size to put some cookies or a piece of cake on.  I think these were a gift, they were in a beautiful box and look like they have never been used!

I need to rest a bit. I'm still exhausted.  Working in the heat, without an air conditioner isn't good. We opened as many of the windows as possible but it was still hot. There was a little breeze which helped and there is a fan that I can use. I would do 10 minutes of work, then 10 minutes in front of the fan. I really do need to pace myself.

Tomorrow, Hannah and I are going to see Jesus Christ, Superstar. I'm really looking forward to it!

Exhausted

 Yesterday David, Christopher and I went to the other house again.

We got a few things done. David bought a light for the dining/kitchen area in the hope of making it brighter, it's a bit better but the corners are still in shadow.

I didn't get a photo of the new light.  I was shocked at the state of the old one. Fifteen years of dust!

Yuk!!!

David managed to clean the kitchen a bit more and bought a dish drainer and shelves for the pots and pans. We are trying out different ideas, I think it will take time to make the kitchen work. It really is a bad design.

Shelves for pots and pans and dish drainer

I don't understand that space behind the stove, counter, and sink. It's not really useable as it's too deep to be easily reached. I have to stand on tip toes to reach it!

Same view but I stepped back

The cupboards above are also useless. David is rather tall but he can only just reach the bottom of the cupboards.  To get anything you have to use a ladder. My mother-in-law was shorter than me, so I don't understand why she had these cupboards put in.  I am hoping to have enough money to change this kitchen soon. It won't be before we move in but at least next early next year!

While David was doing that I was busy sorting the engawa area. I've seen this translated as veranda but it's like an indoor corridor in front of the tatami room.  The house that we are in now the engawa has become a dumping ground. In the other house, I'm trying to make it into a reading nook.  I moved a cabinet from the dining room and am using it as a bookcase. It's a bit tatty but it has doors on, which I need as the cats have a habit of marking things and I don't want my books destroyed!  Again this is a temporary thing, once I get money I want to buy nice shelves for the area.

Bookshelf, full!

That is about 10% of the books that I have, I need more shelves!

This a view from the corridor into the tatami room a few months ago.

Before

Now

Not sure of the progress! That old TV has been thrown out and the boxes moved.  

Christopher finished the smaller bedroom, I think the cupboards need to be wiped out but other than that it's done!

We spent over three hours there.  By the time we finished,, it was about 34C, I was so hot, sticky, and tired!

We shopped on the way home but I really had no energy. I felt like I was walking through a thick fog. I couldn't concentrate on anything at all.  My speech felt slow and slurred, I just wanted to sleep. Totally exhausted.

I haven't been sleeping well at all for the past couple of weeks. My insomnia is worse than ever, I fall asleep alright but wake up after a couple of hours and then have trouble sleeping again. Last night I went to bed just before midnight, woke up at 2:30 but couldn't sleep again until after 4am, I got up at 6am, and have been struggling all day. I'm wondering if a mild sleeping tablet would help for a few days!

Something to think about!

On the way home we caught the end of a traffic incident.  Of course, David and Christopher had to remind me of the fact that I really believed that Japan didn't have police cars! 

Police car!!