Feeling Defeated

 Maybe defeated is too strong a word, but definitely overwhelmed.

I would really like life to go more smoothly. I know that having problems is normal. 

I just wish my problems didn't happen all at once!

A perfect scenario would be to have a problem, solve it, next problem, solve that and keep on going like that. One problem at a time. But life is messy, and problems seem to occur in clusters.

Most of my problems are about money and my health!

June seems to be the month when a lot of taxes are due, the new national insurance starts for the year ahead, and we now have another city bill to pay that I really don't understand.

The new bill is about sewage removal. We already pay a bimonthly water bill, which includes sewage. This new bill is calculated based on the size of the land. Because the land we are on is large, the bill is high. The land measures about 1435m², and the house, from which the sewage is taken, is only 204m². We have to pay 149,060 yen, about £700. We can pay monthly, but I think I might go to the city hall and find out exactly what this is for. Our mains sewage is just for the water, not the toilet waste, which we still have to get fixed!

Then, of course, just the everyday price of things is getting to be crazy. I'm lucky that I have wonderful friends who send me stuff, a bag of rice that came just at the right time. Also, one of my students is a farmer; two or three times a month, she gives me some vegetables, which really helps. 

But it is really disheartening to go into a supermarket and see that, yet again, there is an increase in basic foods. It's not a lot, but these few yen add up quickly.  If I can get to the supermarket where Christopher works, with Christopher, he can get a 10% employee discount. We try to do that as much as possible.

My big health problem at the moment is allergies. I have no idea why they have suddenly flared up.  Yesterday was awful, my nose was like a tap, just dripping, and I had to teach. I took medicine, which helped a bit, but I still went through 4 packets of tissues. Today is a bit better, but I'm wiped out. I've slept most of the day, I didn't even make lunch, but I have a good dinner planned.

Then, just to add to things, I came home yesterday to find Christopher sick. He came home early from work with a fever and headache. I checked his fever last night, 39.5℃, very high. I gave him some painkillers and let him sleep. He's a lot better today, thankfully! I know he's an adult, but he's still my kid, and I worry! 

One of my friends reminds me to be grateful, something that I struggle with. I know that my problems aren't that bad, that a lot of people have harder lives, but I think it's normal to see your own problems as being overwhelming!

Three things that I'm grateful for.

1) Friends who help out, who keep it real for me and remind me that life is wonderful even when it feels so hard.

2)A house that is mine, no rent to pay, which does help.

3)Kids who are willing to help each other and me. They aren't selfish with their own money and are willing to lend money or buy things for each other without moaning!

I'm fighting the defeated feeling! Tomorrow is a new day, next week is a new month. I have to find energy to deal with these problems; lying in bed isn't helping!

Cats on the new cooling mat I bought.

It's getting hot, not every day but most days. I got this cooling mat from Daiso for 500 yen, about £2. These are for people, not pets; the pet ones cost about 2,000 yen, about £10. I'm thinking to but some for us to use on our beds.