Ageing

Listening to my hairdresser the other day has given me a lot to ponder! At 76, she is still healthy, able to work, and excited to learn new things! I'm 14 years younger but already feel like my time to do new things is finished.

So where have I gotten this idea that in my 60s I'm finished and just waiting around to die?

Part of it might be my background. Growing up in the UK we were told that women retire at 60. The feeling I got was that a woman's usefulness finished at 60. I know that some women enjoyed their retirement but from the people around me retirement was a time of financial struggle and not having much hope for anything better. I guess working-class Britain was like that in the 1970s!

So that is part of my thinking! Negative stereotypes that I grew up with!

But there must be more to it than that!  I know that images, and experiences that we have from childhood shape our thinking but the depth of feeling that I have about my life being over at 60 is more than that!

When we were told that we had to leave the other house I remember clearly thinking that I was too old to start again. That I would be too old to deal with the stress and physical work of moving and living here!  That it wouldn't be worth the effort to remodel the house as I wouldn't be around to enjoy it!

I think part of that thinking wasn't just about growing old but more to do with my negative mind set. My constant feeling of lack, that I don't have enough time, energy or money to enjoy things. That instead of living in gratitude for what I have, I live in despair for what I don't have or can't get!

Listening to my hairdresser made me realize that we have to ability to change ourselves, to be more than we were before, and that I'm letting myself and my kids down by thinking I'm too old, too fat, too sick, or too poor to do anything! I know she had a hard time a few years back, her husband got sick,  but she has managed to keep her business going, and more than that she is finding ways to learn new things and has a feeling of excitement for that.

I have 3 ages. The age I think I am, in my 30s, the age my body feels like most days, in my 90s, and my real age of 62!  So I need to make my body feel closer to my real age and tell my brain to stop making grandiose plans that I can't do. I want to learn new things, to stretch myself mentally, to find confidence in my own ability. When I was talking to Hannah about this she said I should learn Japanese. Which is true but feels like a chore! I want to try something artistic. I saw on Facebook a group for coloring, it looks like coloring is a popular hobby so I might start there!

Today has been another rainy day! Even the cats are not chasing around so much. Mama, Alan, and Toast are curled up on the sofa, keeping warm! It really is a cat's life!

Cat's life!!

I have to go and wash dishes, and get the kitchen cleaned. That's something that hasn't changed, no matter where I live or how old I am there will always be dishes!

When I was searching about ageing I came across this quote, which about sums it up!

"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter." – Mark Twain