My Dad worked, growing up it seemed that all my Dad did was go to work and go swimming. He worked in a factory, his basic shift was 8 hours but he would always take on any overtime he could. When he got home he would be exhausted, dinner and TV was all he had energy for. In the days before remote controls I was my Dad's remote, he would nudge me with his foot and say"Change the channel", just as I got comfortable sitting on the floor next to his chair I would get another nudge and told to turn the volume up. This would go on all night. One thing I remember watching with him was the original Star Trek. Every week Captain Kirk would intone "To boldly go where no man had gone before" my Dad would always add "To the lady's toilet". He thought it was funny!
Swimming and diving were his two passions. One year he entered a local diving competition. He came home with a little trophy, he was so proud of coming third. Until Mom asked him how many had entered the competition. With a sheepish smile he answered "Three". That gave us a good laugh for a while. He isn't the most demonstrative of men, he didn't speak much, never showed his deepest emotions but when my Mom got really sick with cancer, he took care of her. Got her to the doctors appointments, cooked, what little she could eat, took care of the house and helped Mom out.
My husband was not a typical Japanese Dad, he was a real hands on Dad, he really doted on his kids. I remember when Mikey was first born. I'm lying in bed recovering from the most painful experience of my life ( at that point I had decided that Mikey was going to be an only child. I wasn't going through that again!), I was looking for some sympathy. But Hisao just sat by Mikey's crib, saying over and over that Mikey was super cute, talk about love at first sight. As the others came along it was the same, When the kids were babies Hisao did all the baths, changed nappies, fed them, talked with them. The only thing he didn't do was wake up at night, there again he could sleep through typhoons, thunderstorms and even an earthquake once!
As the kids got older he would take them to parks and play with them, he protected them at school when the bullying started, he helped with homework and encouraged them to follow their dreams. The only thing that he was strict about was study, he felt that a good education was the ticket to a better life.
Every Christmas we would have the same conversation. He would tell me that in Japan Christmas is not a big thing, that we didn't have to buy loads of gifts for the kids. Then every year he would go out and spend more money on the kids than me! Especially as the kids got older and wanted games or other gadgets, Hisao always managed to get exactly what the kids wanted. I think Hisao really got into the Christmas spirit, he loved teasing the kids, saying that Santa wasn't bringing much, then watching them as they opened their presents.
The most amazing thing about my husband is that he grew up without a Dad. His father died young, Hisao was only a year old. But somehow Hisao became a great Dad. Some days I feel so sorry for my kids not having this great man in their lives, especially Christopher and Hannah. They were so young when passed away, Christopher just 14 and Hannah only 10. I spend a lot of time telling them about their Dad, I don't want his memory to fade!
Recently Hannah has been driving everybody crazy with her obsession with CATS the musical. But she has become very good at playing Memory on the piano and drawing the CATS. So I guess something good has come form it!
I enjoyed reading through your memories of both of these fathers. I know that you will always be able to keep Hisao alive and well in their hearts and that they will always appreciate you for doing so.
ReplyDeleteJackie, I enjoyed your narrative. Thank you for sharing. I hope you had a great Father's Day with the kids.
ReplyDelete