Miserable Week

I still have this cold and ear infection.  3 trips to the doctors and loads of medicine but not better.
Some days are okay, I try to get things done but the next day I'm back in bed, feeling awful.  I plucked up the courage to go to the ENT to find that they are fully booked until after the long
holiday!  So I will have to keep on.  I have 10 days holiday coming up and I really want to get cleaned up, both here and mother in laws house!  Lots of work to do but I hope once it's done things will be better!

One thing that has had me crying this past week is that four of our five new kittens died!  They just didn't thrive and I think they caught some kind of cold.  The weather here is no very warm and the babies moved away from Mama and became to cold. David worked so hard to revive them, heart massage and blowing into their noses but it didn't help.  I felt so sad and poor Hannah was heart broken.  We are keeping an extra eye on the last kitten, it has a cold as well but is twice as big as it's litter mates.  I hope it survives.
The black kitten, Alan, is back at the vets, kidney stones again.  This is costing a fortune but the poor thing was in so much pain and couldn't go to the bathroom or eat.  I know it's crazy but they are part of our family now and that means taking care of them!

Mama with the last kitten

Security and Anixety

If you have read any of my past posts you will see that I write about decluttering
my house.  But I never really do it.  I'll get rid of a few things but never 100%.
Yesterday I was looking for something in my walk in closet, which is more like climb in closet
at the moment!  I sat and  looked through all the things in there and wonder why I still
have so much stuff.  Two books shelves full of books that I have read, some two or three
times but they are no longer relevant to my life. Do I need books on homeschooling or
on childcare?  Do I need self help  books that haven't helped me?  So I sat and thought about
why I hold on to things, clothes that are 3 sizes to small, even if I lose weight will I wear them
or are they so  out of fashion as to be no good! One thing I realized is that having these
things near gives me a sense of security but at the same time makes me anxious!  There is
too much stuff to organize and keep tidy. I can never find what I need when I need it.  It
seems to be an endless cycle!  I also realized that the security is a false security, that I
don't need these things to feel safe.  What I need and want is better relationships with my family and friends.  But spending every holiday trying to make the mess look tidy is not going to help me!
So I am doing a big clean out!  Another thing that has helped is my mother in law is going into a care home.  She is in a very bad way and can't take care of herself.  Her house is 2 bedrooms and one room is never used, so I will use that to store things until I can throw them away completely!

Sad news is that two of our new born kittens died today!  They weren't growing and maybe caught Mama's cold.  They were about half the size of their litter mates!

Cats, Kittens, Colds and Felling Miserable

Our baby kittens are now a week old.  Like all babies they sleep, eat and go to the toilet.  One problem is that the mama cat has a cold and for the first few days she wasn't cleaning them up, so David has been cleaning them every few hours!  Mama is a bit better but the babies now have a cold and so do the older kittens!  We have to wipe the floor a few times a day because of runny noses!

My cold has been hanging on for the past two weeks.  I now have a middle ear infection. I've been on antibiotics for 10 days but it hasn't gone!  Bit better but ear still feels blocked!  Looks like another trip to the doctors!  I keep telling myself that it will go, that it isn't a big problem.  But it is rather annoying.   That is why I feel so miserable.  I have so much to do but don't feel well enough to do anything!  But not sick enough to sleep all the time.  I actually feel rather hopeless.  I keep seeing all the jobs that need to be done and my "To Do" list is getting longer.  

Fred watching the meat!

One week old kittens

What a Month

Not exactly a month but feels like it!
In my last post I wrote that I was starting my spring holiday!
I had so many plans. just cleaning and sorting out stuff, decluttering again.
Plus I wanted to go to my mother in laws house and start sorting that out.
But the first week of my holiday was dealing with my mother in laws situation.
She is in a temporary care home waiting for a place in the care home that she chose.
So David and spent a week going between the city hall,  the bank, the care home and hospital.
Doesn't sound too bad but everything is so far apart. From here to the city hall is about
50 minutes, to the bank at least another 40 minutes. Poor David did a lot of driving!
Because of this I didn't get chance to really clean up.  Mikey and I did the room we use for teaching!
Mikey is very good a letting things go.  He packed up about 3 boxes. I stand there looking through books, saying that I remember this book and all the stories that go with it!  If it was me doing it nothing would be thrown out!

One thing I did was take Christopher and Hannah to the city.  I promised Hannah that in the
spring holiday we would go to the Takarazuka store and she could buy a few things.
we had a nice day out but as always very tiring.

All dressed up

Got back to work with an awful cold!  After 3 days I gave up and went to the doctors.  I have an ear
infection!  One week later still sick!  I will get better but seems so hard, there is so much I want to do
but all I can do is sit around reading or sleeping!

And Mama cat has had her second lot of kittens, five this time.  Mama decided to give birth under David's table, on one of his covers!

Mama and kittens

Spring Holiday

Started my spring holiday yesterday.
Spent most of the day sorting out things that we no longer need.
But it turned out to  be a lot harder than I thought it would.
There was a large box with Hannah's soft  toys. She has out grown them, the ones
that she really loves are on her bookshelf.  But sorting through the toys yesterday
was heart breaking!  So many memories, things that my husband bought for
her. It was hard to box them up. Plus I found more of my husbands clothes
at the very back of the closet. I thought I had finished sorting his things but I found
some shirts and a jacket.  The jacket that he wore constantly was from my parents.
So many memories.  But I have to tell myself that the memories will still be there and I
need the space!
After a couple of hours of sorting and going down memory lane with the kids I gave up.
I went and baked some chocolate chip muffins, they disappeared very fast.
David mad a lovely sponge with a thick chocolate icing.  Very nice.

David's cake.

We also got a photo of the cat that we gave away, he looks happy in his new home.

Celerbrating

I realized that most  of my posts have been me moaning!  At the moment things are
really tough.  Dealing with my mother in laws situation is so hard. I feel sorry for David
as he has taken on the burden of doing all the paper work and calling people.  On Friday
we went to visit my mother in law at the care home.  Took over an hour to get there! It's in
a housing area and there are no street names in Japan!  We finally had to ask a staff member
to meet us at a post office and follow them there.  Poor David was so
tired from driving around these small roads at one point he went down a road that just
ended, he had to do a 3 point turn, but the road was so narrow it ended up being a 30 point turn!
Anyway my mother in law seems a lot happier there.  The staff have a lot of energy and there
is an up beat feeling to the place.  We will visit every week and make sure she is taken care of.

The reason we are celebrating is that Hannah finished her first year of high school and has
done really well this past year.  Her school report was good and reflects how hard she worked.
Her name is posted at the school gate because she came 3rd in the prefecture for an English
test.  I am so happy for her because her junior high experience was very bad.  Bullying that led to
her getting really sick and missing a lot of school!  We found that the city has an alternative
class for kids who can't go to school so she attended that.  It really helped!
So we are having a nice dinner and David is baking  a cake for tonight!

LIFE

Is what happens when one is busy chasing your own tail!
At least that is what it has been like for us the past couple of weeks!
My mother in law had been in hospital for almost 6 months. One thing I
didn't know was that the national insurance only pays for 180 days, after that
you have to pay full price to stay and would of gotten very expensive.
So a couple of weeks ago David and I got called to the hospital to talk, yet again,
to another care manager.  She knew a place that would take my mother in law cheaply
as an act of good will. I am actually rather upset my the city and social welfare system.
There is no way my mother in law could go home, she can't stand up for more than a
minute without being in pain, she can't use the toilet or bath herself.  I can't take care of her
as my health is not that good either!  But because she owns a house and land the welfare
won't help her. The land has not value, it is in the wrong place and zoned for farming.
Even if we could sell it the money would be finite and once finished what then.
Last week we had a meeting at the city hall to discuss my mother in laws situation, it took FIVE
members of staff to attend the meeting. Out of the five only two had anything to contribute and the
situation is still not resolved.  So for now she can stay in this place but only for a few months. Then
will be back to finding another place for her!  It really is a nightmare!

Onto better things.  David got in the kitchen yesterday and made a lovely sponge cake, it was
very light and rather yummy!

This was really good.

Of course the cats give us a lot of laughs.  This morning the grey and white cat, Fred, was rolling around on the floor.  When he got up he was covered in turmeric, he turned yellow!

Yellow cat!