The Kids Are Grown, The Worry Isn't

 When my kids were little, I imagined a time in the future when I wouldn't worry about them all the time.

As any parent knows, raising kids isn't just about homework, club activities, movie nights, birthdays and Christmases. It's also kids shouting at 2am because they feel sick; they always seem to vomit just as you get to the door with a bucket; it's about waiting at the doctor's with a child crying in pain because of a fever; it's dental appointments where the sound of the drill makes your child go white before they are even in the chair. It's fear, stress and worry, 24/7. That is parenting: fantastic highs, scary lows, sleepless nights, fantastic snuggles.

I hoped that when my kids got to adulthood, all that would be behind me. The running around is gone; they see to their own appointments. But the worry isn't. When I see my kids sick or hurt, it's still a worry; even Mikey, who is 34, came home on crutches the other week after an accident at work. My heart stopped as I saw him hobble in.

This week my worry has gone up 100%. It all started with a phone call from Hannah.

She called Monday evening; she was white and wide-eyed, not a good start. 

She had what she called an episode. This is the third time, so we can't dismiss it. As she describes it, she suddenly sees letter and words floating around, also hearing conversations she's had, but only her side of them. She feels sick; twice she vomited. She feels disoriented, not sure where she is and dizzy. The episode doesn't last long but is frightening. Could this trigger a full-blown seizure? Is it a different form of epilepsy, like an absence seizure, where the brain seizes but the body doesn't shake? 

Mikey picked her up so she could stay overnight here. I think she wanted to sleep but was worried that she would have a seizure. 

We spent a lot of time talking and asking AI. I know AI isn't for diagnosing things; I wasn't looking for that, but just something to offer Hannah some encouragement, something to think about and also what to ask at an appointment. 

Of course, Tuesday was a national holiday, so she called her neurologist this morning. The epilepsy specialist is here today; he comes once a month, and she managed to get an appointment at 2:30. I told her to really push to get an appointment; there are only 4 specialists in the north of Kyushu, so getting an appointment is hard.

That's enough worry!

Yesterday David came home from work complaining of a stomachache; he had diarrhoea. We thought it might have been something he had eaten. But as the day wore on, he got worse. By night, he was shivering under his blankets; his fever was 38.8C, he was complaining of having a headache and that his knees and elbows were painful. He took some painkillers, which helped, and he managed to sleep.

This morning I made a big pot of chicken soup; it was the only thing I could think of to get him to eat. 

He's at the doctor's now. He must be very sick, as he doesn't like to go to the doctor; he prefers to just stay in bed and sleep.

I know that neither of these things is an absolute crisis, and with the good medical care here in Japan, things will get taken care of, but for me it feels a bit too much!

I wish life could be more linear: get one problem, solve it, move on to the next. Unfortunately, life is far messier than that!

Just a random photo of Steve. I took this this morning; he looks like he's wearing eye makeup.