It Happened

 My weight! 

It's gone up!!!

I'm not surprised, my eating has been out of control recently! The past 6 months have been hard for me, so much stress, and I'm a stress eater! And yes, I know it doesn't help, but it's such an ingrained response that changing it seems near impossible.

The biggest stress was moving, just the physical work of packing up, deep cleaning two houses, and setting up in this house was a lot of work.  Everybody did what they could, but I did a lot, plus still working. The last month, when we were between two houses, we relied on bentos and instant foods. I had all of the kitchen stuff, but I didn't have a stove top to work with in this house; we had to wait to have a new one fitted. That took longer than I thought it would. 

Once we moved in, I realized that all the things that I wanted to do to this house would take a lot of time and money, which sent me into a deep depression. The fact that the house was a lot colder and darker than I remembered didn't help. So I ate a lot. Not really binge eating, but constant grazing! Just picking at things.

Until this morning, I have been bouncing up and down the same kilo. I was happy with that. I knew my diet wasn't good, but I've been more active since moving here, plus I've started to walk a lot more. I thought that just staying about the same weight was alright, as I wasn't in the right mindset to diet or eat properly.  I try not to diet but to be very mindful of what I'm eating. I like food, I like to try new dishes or rehash old ones. I enjoy cooking and baking, I try to balance out meals so that some things are healthy. It's hard, especially when healthy foods, like fruit, veggies, and fish, are very expensive, the less healthy options like pasta and bread are cheap, but I try! I fill up on salads and try to use leaner cuts of meat. 

This morning I decided to weigh myself, I was shocked that my weight had gone up, not a lot, just 500 grams ( about one pound) but I also know that if I don't tackle it now that 500 grams will turn into one kilo, then two and suddenly I'll be back to where I started.  

So back on the bandwagon. I have a doctor's appointment in June. I would love to lose two kilos by then, not a lot, but doable. I used to set these big targets and then get angry with myself for not meeting them, so I think smaller targets over a few years are better. I have to remind myself that from my highest weight I've lost 17 kilos, took me 3 years but I did it. I can do it again!

I also know that you can't out-exercise a bad diet! But I want to get back into doing some exercise. I've noticed that I get pain in my hip when I walk. I hope it's nothing serious, but who knows! I need to make time to go to the doctor and get that seen too. 

Spring is the time of renewal, and starting new things so this is a good season to start a healthy lifestyle. Wish me luck!

A young, skinny me

This is from when I first came to Japan, 34 years ago! I thought I was fat then!!! If I could get back to the weight I was then, I would be more than happy, about 65 kilos!! Big dreams!!!