The Last Day

 Yesterday was my last day at the old house.

It's kind of sad to see it empty. There's no character left, it's just a house but I still have strong feelings for it.  It was a nice house to make a home in, it became homey very easily, unlike this place which still feels like a dark, cold house!

Few photos from yesterday.

The tatami rooms that we used for teaching

This what it was like before

Small class, the room was very inviting

The bedrooms

The bedrooms were large, they had built in cupboards. The main bedroom had a walk in closet.  Again easy to make comfortable. The large windows not only let in light but also warmed up the rooms in the winter. I think we only used heating upstairs for a short time to get changed!

I enjoyed being at that house. It was one of the best places we had rented.  When we moved in I vowed to never come back to the place we are at now. We had spent a year living with my mother-in-law.  By the end of the year I was ready to leave Japan for good! My mother-in-law was verbally and emotionally abusive.  She would scream and rant at all of us, even Hannah, who was only 6 years old at the time, got her wrath for not lining her shoes up properly.  The kids call it the year from hell!  

Moving to that old house saved my sanity. It took a long time and a lot of tears to recover.  My heart breaks when I think about how my kids suffered at her hands.  This house is full of broken doors and holes punched in walls because she would push us so much that somebody would explode with anger and break something.  I wonder if we handled the situation well but I don't think that was anything else could of done. When Hisao got sick he talked to the welfare staff at the hospital, they were no help at all. Even though my mother-in-law was suffering from the early stages of dementia, they wouldn't take her into a care home.  It got to the point that I couldn't sleep because she would walk up and down the corridor at night, shouting and cursing. I honestly worried for my kids safety. When I told the welfare officers this I was told to get some sleeping tablets! Toward the end of the year Hisao ended up in hospital for a month.  When he got out my mother-in-law wouldn't accept that he couldn't do the heavy field work. She then decided that Mikey should quit high school and I should stop teaching English and work with her in the fields.  We realized then that we would never be able to make her happy, or give her peace of mind because we were there taking care of her. The more we did for her the more she demanded.  In the end I called the police because she punched me in the face just after I had returned from a very painful dental appointment. The police officer suggested a hospital that would take her for a while, a mental hospital that could asses her situation. While she was in there we could find a place to move to.  We managed to get the old house, a friend of a friend was moving back to the US and wanted someone to take over the students she was teaching. It was a great situation for us and we jumped at the chance.

In the back of my diary from that time I had written that I wanted a house that was big enough for us, that we could use to teach in and had space for the dogs. The old house fit all those criteria!  

I didn't think we would stay there that long but it became comfortable. I can't drive so the old house we ideally situated, as everything was just a few minutes walk away.

The first couple of years there were great. I could make money. David got into evening high school in one of the best high schools in the area. Christopher had a great junior high school and Hannah's elementary school actually taught not messing around with anti war talks or human rights problems that the kids don't understand.  

One enduring memory was of the one Christmas when we trying to get a photo for the new years cards. It took 3 hours to get this photo.

Hisao is trying not to laugh!

 This was the kids messing around

Doing some kind of march

When I see these photos I have such a warm feeling. It really was a great time.

Of course, a few years after we moved Hisao passed away.

That was hard but somehow we got through it. I remember desperately wanting time to pass quickly in the hope that I would feel better.

My kids rallied round, they supported each other and me. Even today, 12 years later, they help each other out, they help me out as well.  

Also the students I had at that time were a big help. One lady worked at the City Hall, she helped with all the red tape and getting welfare help.

My memories of the old house are bitter sweet. Lots of great things, some very sad things. But it was a great house to go home to. I had never felt any place I lived in before was "home" but that last house was. I have so many memories there. I still have to go to the city 3 or 4 times a week to teach, which is great but coming back to this house is going to be hard!

It's almost the end of 2024. I'll write about that another day.  

I'm trying to have hope that 2025 will be good but I don't know. It's going to take a lot of energy to make this house a home or at least liveable. 

Hannah is coming back for the New Year holiday, that's nice! I had better clean out my room!!