The past few days.....

have been interesting.
Tuesday was a rather awful day.  I had no energy at all.  All I wanted to do was sleep and in the past that is what I would of done.  But I decided that even if I couldn't do anything I could at least read or watch TV.  We had borrowed a DVD that had to go back, "The Butler", so the older boys and I sat and watched that!  Of course that turned into a heated debate on the situation of African Americans today and the problem of racism in different parts of the world.  I am always amazed at how well read David is, he can really debate things that he feels strongly about!
Wednesday was a lot better for me.  Managed to do a few jobs that I have been putting off.  I seem to leave things until it is too late.  Cleaning rooms is okay, not favorite activity but no choice, but places that aren't seen, cupboards, drawers etc aren't really cleaned.  I have a few drawers that I have no idea what is in them!  So I am cleaning out and throwing out, feels good!
Thursday was another bad day.  It rained ALL day, the house felt damp and I had the most terrible headache!  Sleep most of the afternoon, no choice, I just felt so bad!  As I have gotten older I have found that heavy rain can really pull me down.  I like rain but the pressure sometimes feels so heavy.
Today was great.  Mikey and David wanted to go to the library so I went along. The library is in the next city and the supermarkets are a little cheaper there, meat is a real bargain!   While the boys were in the library I had a walk around the park.  It was hot, but there was a slight breeze.  I couldn't stay out for long but it felt good!

From my walk around the park!
 

The past few days have been good.  The weather has helped, it is getting hot but so far not to bad.  I think what has changed in me is I am not going to be a victim any more!  I HATE summers here, the heat and humidity make me sick.  But what can I do?  I can either deal with it, find ways to be productive everyday and ways to be happy.  Or I can sit around and moan.  I am choosing to do the first!
Does that make sense?

Husband's birthday!

Yesterday would of been Hisao's 54th birthday!
It's hard to believe that he passed away two and half years ago.  Seems like the other day, seems like eternity!
One thing that I have realised is that I have let things go over the past couple of years.  Grief is exhausting on so many levels.  And coping alone doesn't help.  I have good friends who listen to me moan and cry but no professional grief councilors around!  Sometimes it has been hard, sitting on the kitchen floor crying my eyes out hard.  But I realise that I have a life, I didn't die with my husband, only part of my heart.  So I need to live, need to get my health better so I can all the things that we dreamed of.  I don't know how but I want to travel, at least see more of Japan!
My goal for the month of June is to do  something everyday!  May not sound like a lot but I hate the rainy season and the summers here.  When it gets hot and humid I just want to sit with the air conditioner on and not move at all.  So this year I am going to challenge that!  So far it isn't too hot, actually last Friday was only16C. I was so happy!
I will let you know how this challenge goes.  Today was good, did half an hour on my exercise bike and cleaned behind the stove!  Tomorrow........?

This is how I remember my husband. playing peek a boo in a restaurant!!!

May....What happened?

So May came and went and I didn't write!
Bad, I know!  But I have a good excuse!
The best time for me to write is in the evening.  But I have been trying to avoid late night computer sessions.  I start out with good intentions.  Just going to update my blog.  But then facebook calls, checking a new recipe, read a couple of newspapers before I know it's 2am and I'm exhausted, and the blog still isn't updated!

So May saw a lot of dentist visits.  Both Mikey and Christopher are suffering.  Mikey got toothache, went to the dentist and found that his teeth are crowded.  His jaw is too small and teeth are over lapping. So far he has lost 3 teeth. One tooth that was taken out had a strange root, instead of the usual two roots it had 3!  Even the dentist had never seen such a tooth!  A week later Christopher started to complain about toothache.  Turns out he has two bad teeth!  He is getting fillings, maybe a couple more visits and finished!

Recently the local supermarket has been selling whole chicken.  I got one a couple of weeks ago. Made a lovely roast dinner, but this is the wrong time of year for roasts.  I bought another one for tomorrow (Hubby's birthday) but I'll cook it tonight and do a load of salads to go with it!

Christopher saying hello to the chicken

Finished product!

I am sure more things happened in May but I can't think now!
I will try to do better in June!