One Year On

This time last year I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
After a mastectomy and daily tablets I am cancer free.  Well at least according to my last blood tests.
I'll have big tests the end of June, a mammogram and CT scan.  No big deal but as always
the worry is there a the back  of my head.  I try not to focus on it but in the middle of the night all the aches and pains I have make me think that the cancer is back!

I am trying to do more, to be more proactive and do things that I want to do.  My scare last year reminded me in very real way that we don't know what tomorrow might bring.  So I am trying to live for now, spend time with people who add to my life, not with people who have a negative impact on me.  I am making plans to travel.  I want to go to the UK again, visit my family and friends and to visit the places I've never had chance to see before.  Also there are so many places in Japan that I want to see.  So I am making lists and plans, trying to make money for all these adventures!

And because all my photos are of the cats I'll leave you with some cute photos.

Photos

I wanted to post photos yesterday but couldn't find my camera to upload them. Of course the camera
was on the shelf in front of me!

These are from Hannah's birthday.

Birthday Girl

Dinner by David. The salad in the bowl is really nice!

Two cakes, again by David.

And of course cats

First Half of May

This month is flying past.  I've been very busy, dealing with my mother in law's situation, trying to clean out this house and new students!
The beginning of the  month was Hannah's birthday.  I know I always say it but time does go
really fast watching the kids grow up! I remember her being born premature, just 900grams (1.9 pounds), being told that she only had a 30% chance of surviving,  wondering if we would have the chance to celebrate any birthdays at all!  Now she is a young lady with her own sense of style, she isn't into fashion so much but takes time to find what suits her.  She is very witty and comes out with really funny come backs. She is also good at drawing and will spend ages doing that.  Of course she is spoiled, but as she says "Of course I'm spoiled, I'm the youngest and only girl".   She had loads of presents and a nice birthday meal, cooked by David, he also made two cakes!

The sad news is that the last baby kitten died.  It just got so weak, we tried to bottle feed it but
it just wouldn't take it.  We tried so hard to keep it alive but no luck.  I have felt so bad about that litter of kittens, but I also know we did everything we could!  Mama cat has been on heat for
about 2 weeks, which has been very hard.  She doesn't like to use the litter box and cries to go out but we haven't allowed her. I am hoping to get her to the vets soon to get her fixed!

A Cuteness of Cats

Today is a new era in Japan.  The Heisei Emperor abdicated yesterday and his son was 

enthroned today.  The new era is known as Reiwa meaning peace and order.  I always 

thought that the name changed with a new emperor but according to my kids the names

would be changed for a variety of reasons.  Once because an unusual turtle was seen and

another time because of a strange cloud formation!  

On a personal level these past few weeks have been rather trying.  Mama cat had five

kittens but only one has survived.  It looks like they caught a cold and couldn't feed, so

they never grew.  David spent over an hour trying to revive them but it didn't help.

The one that survived also had a cold, both David and I spent time suck mucus out of

its nose. Not nice.  I sat up a couple of nights with it as well, trying to keep it warm and

feed kitten formula to it.  We ended up with the black kitten, Alan, back in the vets for four days.

He still has kidney problems.  When David picked him up he had to take Steven, the white cat and

Mama and baby.  My vet bill is very high.  Also we had to buy medicine for the dog. 

Never mind, the animals bring a lot of joy to our home!

A few pictures

Hannah playing with some application

Typical scene

Miserable Week

I still have this cold and ear infection.  3 trips to the doctors and loads of medicine but not better.
Some days are okay, I try to get things done but the next day I'm back in bed, feeling awful.  I plucked up the courage to go to the ENT to find that they are fully booked until after the long
holiday!  So I will have to keep on.  I have 10 days holiday coming up and I really want to get cleaned up, both here and mother in laws house!  Lots of work to do but I hope once it's done things will be better!

One thing that has had me crying this past week is that four of our five new kittens died!  They just didn't thrive and I think they caught some kind of cold.  The weather here is no very warm and the babies moved away from Mama and became to cold. David worked so hard to revive them, heart massage and blowing into their noses but it didn't help.  I felt so sad and poor Hannah was heart broken.  We are keeping an extra eye on the last kitten, it has a cold as well but is twice as big as it's litter mates.  I hope it survives.
The black kitten, Alan, is back at the vets, kidney stones again.  This is costing a fortune but the poor thing was in so much pain and couldn't go to the bathroom or eat.  I know it's crazy but they are part of our family now and that means taking care of them!

Mama with the last kitten

Security and Anixety

If you have read any of my past posts you will see that I write about decluttering
my house.  But I never really do it.  I'll get rid of a few things but never 100%.
Yesterday I was looking for something in my walk in closet, which is more like climb in closet
at the moment!  I sat and  looked through all the things in there and wonder why I still
have so much stuff.  Two books shelves full of books that I have read, some two or three
times but they are no longer relevant to my life. Do I need books on homeschooling or
on childcare?  Do I need self help  books that haven't helped me?  So I sat and thought about
why I hold on to things, clothes that are 3 sizes to small, even if I lose weight will I wear them
or are they so  out of fashion as to be no good! One thing I realized is that having these
things near gives me a sense of security but at the same time makes me anxious!  There is
too much stuff to organize and keep tidy. I can never find what I need when I need it.  It
seems to be an endless cycle!  I also realized that the security is a false security, that I
don't need these things to feel safe.  What I need and want is better relationships with my family and friends.  But spending every holiday trying to make the mess look tidy is not going to help me!
So I am doing a big clean out!  Another thing that has helped is my mother in law is going into a care home.  She is in a very bad way and can't take care of herself.  Her house is 2 bedrooms and one room is never used, so I will use that to store things until I can throw them away completely!

Sad news is that two of our new born kittens died today!  They weren't growing and maybe caught Mama's cold.  They were about half the size of their litter mates!

Cats, Kittens, Colds and Felling Miserable

Our baby kittens are now a week old.  Like all babies they sleep, eat and go to the toilet.  One problem is that the mama cat has a cold and for the first few days she wasn't cleaning them up, so David has been cleaning them every few hours!  Mama is a bit better but the babies now have a cold and so do the older kittens!  We have to wipe the floor a few times a day because of runny noses!

My cold has been hanging on for the past two weeks.  I now have a middle ear infection. I've been on antibiotics for 10 days but it hasn't gone!  Bit better but ear still feels blocked!  Looks like another trip to the doctors!  I keep telling myself that it will go, that it isn't a big problem.  But it is rather annoying.   That is why I feel so miserable.  I have so much to do but don't feel well enough to do anything!  But not sick enough to sleep all the time.  I actually feel rather hopeless.  I keep seeing all the jobs that need to be done and my "To Do" list is getting longer.  

Fred watching the meat!

One week old kittens