New Oven

 This post contains an Amazon affiliate link.

My oven arrived yesterday! 

I was thrilled to receive it. Christopher asked why I got an oven as soon as my old one broke, but not a rice cooker. I realised that even after all the years I've been in Japan, rice is still a foreign concept to me. Having a rice cooker is nice, but not necessary; I can cook rice on the stovetop. Not having an oven means that there are a lot of things I can't cook. I always thought that I didn't really need a microwave, but the past couple of weeks, I haven't had one, made cooking a lot harder!  Also, the oven has a grill function, I love to grill up vegetables and, of course, baking or doing a roast, I need an oven!

This is the one David bought for me!

https://amzn.to/48XG5d

It's a lot nicer than the image!

It has two tiers, plus an interior light, two things my old one didn't!

New oven, old toaster!

I've only used the microwave so far. After I finish this, I'm going to bake some little cakes!

One thing I noticed is that it tells you have much electricity you've used. Running the microwave for one minute is about 0.02 yen! 

It also connects to the Wi-Fi! I can set the oven from my phone, but to start it, someone has to press the start button!

I was so excited by these features that I was telling Hannah how great it is! Her reply was "Welcome to the 21st century"

When I thought about it, I've seen many types of ovens and used many different ones!

In England, the oven and stovetop are usually one unit; I've always called it a cooker. I'm wondering now if that is British English?

As a child, we (usually my Mom, brother and me) would visit my great aunt. She had an electric cooker, but almost never used it. Her fire in the kitchen had a built-in oven! She had a shelf in front of the fire for pots, and the meat would go in the oven to roast. I remember this long fork she had to toast bread on in the mornings. I was fascinated by how this worked. At home, Mom put the meat in the oven and turned a knob; at great aunt's, there was a lot of fuss to get the fire hot enough. Also, the kitchen would get very hot!

My Mom had an electric cooker, then changed to gas after the power cuts in the early 70s. I learnt to cook and bake on a gas cooker, which I prefer.

I've used industrial ovens and stovetops. They are great, but if they aren't serviced regularly can play up a lot!

When I first came to Japan, I was horrified to find that ovens were a luxury that few people had. Also, the stovetop had just two burners. Now, however, ovens are becoming more popular, even if they are small compared to English ovens. Also, it's possible to get a stovetop with 3 burners!

I'll let you know how my first baking attempt in the new oven went!

Thirteen Years

 Today is thirteen years since Hisao passed away.

It's hard to believe that much time has passed!

I was sorting through some photos to use, and just looking at them brought back so many memories. The hopes and the fears I had about our future.  One thing I never thought was that I would be widowed so young!  I thought we would grow old together, watching our kids grow up, and have their own families!

Here are a few photos.

With Mikey

I can't remember where this was taken!

This was from one of our first visits to England.

With Dad and Mikey

This is at Mount Kora, the place I went with David last week.

A couple of weeks ago, I came across a YouTube channel by another widow. She's Japanese, in her fifties, with children. In one video, she was talking about making decisions. How even the most simple of decisions are harder to make. This is so true! When Hisao passed away, I hated making any decisions at all!  Even the most basic things, like organising my schedule for the day, when to go shopping or what to make for dinner, felt so overwhelming!  Bigger decisions like helping the kids decide what high school or university to attend left me paralysed with fear! 

Over the years, I've learnt to cope with the small day-to-day things! I think the first year or so was the hardest. Larger decisions are still hard, but now that my kids are adults, I can ask them for advice.  As a mother, I don't want to burden them, but they have access to more information than I do; even using translation apps doesn't always help.

Being widowed is hard. But life goes on!

I have a lot to do this week. I'm trying to do a deep clean before it gets too cold.

I'm also battling a cold, an early Christmas gift from! Mikey!

The Kitchen.....

 Is almost done!

Since moving here, I've struggled with storage space in the kitchen.

There are cupboards under the stove, counter top and sink, but they smell. It's hard to describe, but it makes me heave. Currently, I have cleaning supplies and Tupperware stored under the sink. The drawers under the little counter area hold my cooking utensils and bowls, but I have to rewash them before using them! Under the stove top, I keep the very large pots, and bake wear that I use very occasionally.

The cupboards above are too high. I keep things that I don't use very often up there, but I am thinking of putting a small step ladder in the kitchen so I can store things like flour, sugar, etc. I want to find some kind of container that would be easy to pull out. I'm glad that we have 100 yen shops! For things like that, they are great!

One thing that I've changed that has really helped is moving where I store the plates and dishes we use every day. Before they were in the cabinet where I was also storing food. It was alright, but putting the clean dishes away was a hassle, so many times the dishes got left on the drying rack. This meant that many times dirty dishes were waiting to be washed because there was no room on the drying rack. For a day or two, this is okay, but when it gets to be a week, it gets crazy. We bought a dish rack to replace one of the drying racks, so now dishes are washed, dried and stored very quickly. No more mountains of dirty dishes in the sink!

Before

After

I want to buy some sort of storage container for the things between the two racks. Basically, the daily cleaning supplies. 

I'm happy with how it looks and functions now. I want to try and save some money as it does need to be pulled out and remodelled. I think the bad smell might be from the drains, but we need professionals in to fix that!

Next is my bedroom. I really want to do a deep clean. Hannah will be staying over Christmas and New Year, so I want to make the room a bit more comfortable!

Mount Kora And Kora Taisha Shrine

 Today turned out to be very different to what I had planned, in a good way!

The plan was to finish deep cleaning the kitchen, start on my room, make lunch and have an easy afternoon.

When David came home from work, I was looking at Amazon to find an oven. I realised this morning that I do need a microwave, also, I don't have confidence that the other functions on the oven will keep working.  The oven I have is an oven, microwave and grill combination. I thought about buying a cheap microwave, but I don't really have space, plus the electrical system isn't that good; if I run more than two appliances at once, the fuses get tripped!

I noticed that Amazon offers split payments, where you can pay over a few months. I haven't checked all the details as yet, but I'm hoping that I can use this system.

I explained to David that I was going to buy an oven from Amazon, he suggested that we go and have a look at the ovens at one of the many electrical stores.  David buys a lot online, and unfortunately, what he expects and what he gets doesn't always work out! The other week, he ordered a heater, but it turned out to be a lot smaller than he thought it would be. 

We had an early lunch, then went to the store. I'm glad we went to have a look. The one oven I liked had a very complicated system to run it. The one I have now has buttons for the different functions; the one I liked had a couple of buttons, but most of the functions were on a dial that you had to turn slowly to get to each function. I think trying to use that at 5am when I'm half asleep would be rather frustrating! I found one I liked and will order it later, if the split payment option works!

After we finished, I thought we would go back home, but David asked if I would like to go to Mount Kora. Of course, I said yes.

Mount Kora is one of the high points in this area; it's part of the Mino Mountain Range, the mountains that are behind our house. The shrine is Kora Taisha Shrine and has a history of 1600 years.

The drive up there was hair-raising to say the least. I took some video, but the road was bumpy, and I couldn't hold the phone still, sorry! You can hear me tell David to change down gears. He has only ever driven an automatic car and has no idea what the lower gears are for! I've never driven a car, but I know that on the mountain roads, the lower gears are better!

The views from the top are spectacular.

Explaining the view

I asked David to take some photos, so, of course, he took a selfie!

David

This stone explains about the cherry blossom trees that are planted here.

Father, Son Cherry Blossom Trees

The trees were planted by a Navy Admiral. The tree split and became known as Father Son Cherry Blossom Tree. The first two gold letters are father and son.

The steps up to the shrine itself are long and very steep. 

Steps up to the shrine.

I took one look at those and decided to send David up to take photos, until I noticed the funicular railway on the side. 

It's free to ride, but there was a donation box, so we dropped in a couple of hundred yen and rode up to the top.

The next video was from inside.

A much better way to get up all those steps. I think I could have managed going up, but coming down would have been hard!

Again, incredible views.

Looking down the steps.

View of the river

The steps again.

There were many things to see up here.

I remembered to take a photo of the shrine this time.

The main entrance to the shrine.

Interesting colours, also, why a rabbit?

The side of the shrine.

A dragon's head

I enjoyed noticing all the little details in the architecture.  From a distance, the shrines look very similar, but getting up close, you can see the little differences that make each shrine unique!

The main part of the shrine.

This is beyond the red entrance. Very beautiful.

Also, we found some chickens!

Shrine chickens.

And a massive tree.

We went to the observation deck, but by that time the weather had turned, and it started to rain!

I remembered that the road we were on went back toward our house, so instead of going back the way we came, we went for a real adventure.

Most of the road was alright until we came to this very narrow part, with very few places to allow cars to pass. Also, in many places, there was no guardrail. 

I was worried that the leaves were getting wet and could be a bit slippery! I was very happy to get back onto the main roads!

On the way back, we passed a few other places that looked nice. Maybe, when the weather is better, we can go out there again!

I actually had a really nice day. I still have all the cleaning to do, but getting out, just for an hour or so, has given me energy to get things done!

Challenged

 After writing about being grateful, I decided that until the end of the year, 25 days, I would find three things every day to be grateful for, to celebrate or find joy in. I think that being grateful is a habit that I need to nurture and help grow. I've really got to get away from what I call "poor me syndrome". 

Today was the first day, and of course, I got challenged.

The challenges started last night with the cats!

Don't get me wrong, I love my cats, they are entertaining and make me smile a lot, but they are also very demanding, usually at the wrong time!

Last night, one of the ginger cats, Sam, decided that the only place he would sleep was on my bed! I wouldn't mind if he slept next to me, but he insists on sleeping on my legs; that extra weight on my knee isn't good.  I started to moan to myself, my thoughts were along the line of "why can't you sleep next to me, just move already". I stopped and asked what was so bad about this. He doesn't do it every night, just move him over a bit, then get comfortable. I did that, and had a very good sleep. If I wasn't being mindful of not complaining, I know I would have lain there for hours complaining to myself, keeping myself awake.

Sam is being cute this morning.

This is what greeted me this morning, Sam being cute and really purring! I enjoyed a few minutes of play with him before going to make breakfast!

The next challenge was also from the cats, this time, Frodo. He started doing the 2 am wake-up call. He cried the cry of starving animals outside my door for an hour! Again, I started to complain to myself. I didn't want to get out of bed, in the freezing cold house, to feed the cats! I managed to shut down that thinking as well. It took just a few minutes to feed them, then get back in bed! Thinking about it was worse than actually doing it!

The biggest challenge, however, was when I was making an obento and breakfast this morning. My stove top only has 3 burners. One I'm using to cook rice, I still don't have a rice cooker, the other two I use to cook the different dishes for obento and breakfast. To speed things up, I use the microwave to steam broccoli or other vegetables. This morning, it stopped working. The problem is the sensor plate. We've had this problem before, so I knew what to do, but nothing worked.  

I managed to get everything ready, a bit late, but nobody was late leaving for work, so it was alright.

This, however, was not so easy to not complain about. We are broke. David and Christopher are paying for most things; the money Mikey and I make covers a few bills but not much. We need money to invest in this house, to make it livable, but every time I get a bit of money to save, something happens and that money is gone.  I think I'm tired of never getting ahead. Of always living paycheck to paycheck. I've done that most of my life, I really wanted things to be different now, to have money that I can save so the house can be restored, have money to buy clothes for myself or to travel a bit. I really don't like that David pays for almost everything and doesn't have a chance to save for his future. Christopher will be the same. This is where being grateful is hard. I don't care about the microwave not working or not having a rice cooker, but I hate that my kids have no money left because I can't make money, or all the money we have is put into this house and land! My kids don't complain; they say "No choice," but I wish we had a choice. 

At least I didn't complain to David when he came home from work; I just stated that the microwave wasn't working and left it at that. 

But my in my mind, I feel so angry and sad that again we have to face such a thing. I just want to get a break. Get some new students without more leaving, find another way to make money or get someone to buy some of the land that we aren't using!

The more I think about it, I realise that the microwave not working isn't the problem, it's nice and convenient, but not necessary. What made me so upset was seeing David trying to figure out how to buy one. He already pays most of the bills, he needs to save to get his car fixed, but all his money goes on the house, food or the cats!  

I think being grateful, changing my thinking is going to be a lot harder than I thought!

Gratitude

 This is something that has been on my mind for a while.

It's so easy to say"I'm grateful for ..........." But how to feel it and live it.

I'm willing to admit that many times I'm not grateful, and I fall into a victim mentality, finding fault and complaining far too much. It's easy to be grateful when things are going my way, I want to learn how to do that when life gives me a lemon!

In Stephen Covey's book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, he uses the funeral exercise. He asks what do you want people to say at your funeral, then create a life to that end.  When I read this, I was in my 30s. My death, the death of those close to me, felt far away.

Now in my 60s, having people close to me die, my husband, Mom, mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law, this idea, what kind of legacy do I want to leave behind, seems a lot more important!

Two of these funerals show what kind of people they were in life. My Mom's funeral was packed. My Mom had her faults, but she was loved by a lot of people, her family, friends and people who shopped where she worked part-time. She would always have time to talk and have a cup of tea; she tried not to gossip. At the shop, she remembered which lady's grandchild had a birthday and helped to choose a card. At Christmas, she would make mince pies and buy a bottle of sherry to share with the regular customers. She explained to the owner that this helps to make the customers feel special. On the day of the funeral, the owner closed the shop, something he had never done before. My Mom asked that people donate to a local hospice instead of buying flowers. The owner set up a box for donations, the collection was over £1000.

My grandmother-in-law's funeral was attended by 3 people, and her family. Even the extended family didn't bother to come.  I only knew my grandmother-in-law when she was already old. I assumed that her complaints and manipulative ways were signs of dementia, but my husband said that she always manipulated people for her own benefit. She was widowed when my mother-in-law was in high school. She went to the school and removed my mother-in-law from the school, telling her to work the land. There was no discussion. Grandmother wanted money from the crops that were being grown, so her daughter had to give up her own life to do that. She would give large sums of money to one cousin but not speak to the brother of that cousin. She caused conflict in the family, even the neighbours tried not to have anything to do with her. She was miserable and made sure that everyone around her was miserable.

Two funerals, two lives lived very differently. My Mom had her faults, but because she was caring, those faults were overlooked. My grandmother-in-law was selfish and spiteful. One had a funeral that overflowed with tears and love, the other had one where people attended because they had to represent the neighbourhood association.

I know which one I want!

So how do I become someone whose life and legacy are honoured at her funeral?

Being grateful is, for me, part of living a life well. Again, it's easy to be grateful when things are alright. How to feel that when things aren't going as I think they should. In other words, how to be grateful now. How to be grateful when all I see are constant struggles?  

I'm trying not to complain to my kids too much, but sometimes it's so easy to just moan. The house is cold, it's dark, it's badly designed. These are my constant complaints, but I should try to find a way to change these things. It's cold, get more heaters; it's dark, maybe paint the walls a brighter colour, do something about the dark colour of the kitchen cabinets. The design can't be changed until we have more money, but I could start to look at ideas to make it better.

I am grateful for this house. I don't think we could have rented another place with the cats. 

I'm grateful for my kids; they put up with a lot. Even though I've lived in Japan for 34 years, I still struggle with the language, my kids are willing to step up and help out, especially if it involves phone calls, banking, city hall or hospital visits!

I'm grateful to live in Japan. Even though I struggle with the language, with some of the culture and traditions, I feel at home here. I'm glad that Hannah can have her own apartment. I'm not sure if I would be happy to let her live by herself in England.  Even here, we message and talk a few times a day, especially with her having epilepsy. Once she has gotten used to it and understands her triggers, maybe I can relax more. 

This has gotten rather long and heavy. Thank you for reading! I'm grateful for all the people who read this blog. Leave a comment about your experience of being grateful.

Some lovely photos of the mall in the other city and all the Christmas lights!

Lovely tree

Christmas lights in the park next to the mall

Ukiha Inari Shine

 This shrine is located about 30 minutes from where we live.

Even though it's close, I haven't had the chance to visit before today! I can't drive, so I have to wait until either Mikey or David is free! 

This afternoon was lovely weather, Mikey had a free afternoon, so we made the trip to the shrine!

This shrine was built in 1957. It enshrines three deities and is known for its blessings of prosperity in business, good harvest, sake production, and health, longevity and academics. It's located on the top of a mountain and has a series of red torii gates leading to the shrine.

The drive up the mountain was breathtaking! Not only the view, but also how steep the road was in some places and the hairpin curves.

I took a little video.

Not very good because I was holding onto the handle above the door!

I'm glad we could drive to the top. I couldn't have managed all the steps from the main road. I saw some people climb up the steps, but they were young and looked like they had the energy to climb!

The sign at the car park

Mikey said that the name of the park, "Johgahana," doesn't make sense.  The first kanji means castle, but the third character means nose, so Castle Nose?

Another short video of the torii gates and the view.

The torii gates were donated by different companies or people. The names are inscribed on the gate.

I'm sure if this is a name or a date.

I took some photos of the gates and the view.

Where the gates go down to a road

Facing the gates.

After that, we walked through the main gate toward the shrine itself.

The main gate.

We came to another set of steps. With these guarding the way.

Each one is holding something different in its mouth.

I just realised I didn't get a photo of the shrine. There were too many people when we went past the first time, and I forgot when we went back. Good excuse to go again!

I did get a photo of this mini shrine. 

Next to the main shrine

The animals are all foxes. Inari has the meaning of fox. It comes from Japanese mythology.

We wandered away from the main shrine, following the path to another set of gates. I didn't bother trying to go down those steps; there was no railing to hold onto, and the steps looked uneven.

We came across the lights that are set up at intervals; the shape looks like cut bamboo.

Interesting design for the lights.

We even managed to see some of the beautiful autumn leaves. This year, the change has been very late here. It actually feels as if there is no autumn any more. 

Beautiful leaves

It was starting to get cool, the sun was setting, so we went back to the parking lot.

Mikey took a couple more photos of the gates.

As we went back to the car, I noticed a vending machine. Is it only in Japan that they put these machines on the top of mountains?

How do they get these up the mountain?

As we drove back, we went past the entrance at the base of the mountain. 

Looks like a long walk.

I had a really good time!

One thing that I'd like to point out is that I climbed some of the steps. Usually, I don't even try to go up steps if I don't have to. Especially these were uneven, going up is alright, but coming down is hard on my knee. Actually, going up is hard because of my weight and lack of stamina. But I managed it, was it easy, not really. I was out of breath when I got to the top, and my heart was racing, but I recovered quickly.  I know a few months ago I wouldn't have even tried, so I can tell that losing a few kilos has helped a lot! That gives me inspiration to keep on.