Miserable

 I was going to write about how miserable I feel at the moment and leave it at that but things happened.

The weather has been miserable, it rained for 4 days non-stop, even now it is cloudy and gloomy, and the wind is very sharp.  March really does come in like a lion, a wet lion! and goes out like a lamb! Again we haven't been able to do much in the garden!  My little plants look alright but I might have to move them as we have a frost advisory for tonight!

My misery has to do with our money situation. We have none. 

I have debts, which I really don't like. Not a lot, about 50,000, which is about £260. Not a lot but I can't even pay that off.  Two that I have to pay are for national insurance, the others are for services in the other house.  I'll get there, one day.

I wanted to buy something for Mikey's wedding but I can't afford to. I have to get my hair cut, haven't been to the hairdresser in over a year.  I have Hannah's graduation in the middle of the month but I don't know if I can afford to take her to a nice restaurant for lunch after the ceremony. 

We are very frugal. I canceled my two subscriptions, Hulu and Readly. I don't want to cancel my subscription to Everand but I might have to.  I make 500 grams of meat stretch to 2 meals for four adults,  we use the cheapest food we can find, no snacks, and very little fruit, as it's very expensive. We haven't had rice for over a week, either pasta or potatoes. 

I'm sad that at 62 this is my life. Just struggling to make ends meet. David uses all his money to pay for things, Christopher chips in, but he has to pay back his student loans. Mikey gives some but he needs to save for next month. 

Then there is Hannah, who is really struggling this month as well.  She is working two jobs since her classes have finished and she has free time so is working as much as possible but will only get 90,000, about £470. After paying rent and utilities she has nothing at all. She needs to top up her travel pass but can't and even buying groceries is hard.

This is my reality. I'm so tired, so miserable. I would love to buy something for Hannah's graduation or a small gift for Mikey and his fiancee.  I would love to be able to help Hannah out but again, it's impossible.

This has been on my mind for a few days. More than a few days. Why can't I get a break?  Why am I struggling with money or the lack of it, over and over again?

This morning I was flicking through YouTube when I came across a short video on gratitude. Not something I would usually listen to but I decided it looked interesting enough. It was basically the same kind of content about how gratitude can change things, that being grateful can help you to change and change things around you. 

I know this. I've read enough on being grateful, having positive self talk etc but I don't really practice it. This morning, however, it hit me hard. I do complain and whinge too much. so this morning I sat and thought about all the things I should be grateful for. I thought the list would be short but it became quite long.

I thought about my health, I had a check-up yesterday and my numbers are good but I need to exercise (more about that later).

We have a roof over our heads, not the best house but with time and effort it can be made nice.

We have food and the possibility of growing some stuff ourselves.

I can still work, just figure out how to get new students.

My kids are doing alright. They are taking responsibility for their lives and are willing to help me out. They aren't out partying or spending money frivolously.

I have my cats, who drive me crazy but are so loveable!

I live in an area where the beauty of nature is all around me. I don't have to drive somewhere to see the season changing, the trees in bloom or the sound of bird song, it's all there on my doorstep.

There were other things as well. I sat for a while just thinking on each of these points.

Then a miracle happened. Hannah called. She will get 30,000 yen from the city, about £150! I have no idea why but she has to fill out a form and she will get the money next month. Still leaves her short this month but she can manage now!

She called back an hour later. The cram school that she is working at has a branch near her apartment, they are looking for teachers. She is going to ask her manager if she can transfer to that branch.

I'm always skeptical when I read about how people change their thinking and then something great happens but this time it happened to me!!

Then there was my hospital appointment.

My check-up yesterday was okay. My numbers are good. My a1c number was a bit higher, but this test checks glucose levels over 2 to 3 months, so I expected it to be a bit off because of Christmas and New Year. This time it was 6.1, the last test in December was 6.0. Back to better eating!

Also, the doctor encouraged me to exercise more to help lower my blood pressure. I noticed that on the days that I was out working in the garden or walking a lot my blood pressure was lower in the evenings. So I'm going to try and do more walking!

I went for a little walk with Christopher today, about 10 minutes. It was nice to get out. I took some lovely photos.

Camellias by our shed

View of our land

Coming back I noticed that the other trees in our garden are also in bloom.

trees in bloom

My default setting seems to be complaining but I'm going to try and change that, to look for things to be grateful for, even when things are hard!

Hina Matsuri

 Today is Hina Matsuri.

The Hinamatsuri Festival (ひなまつり) is celebrated on March 3 and is also known as the Doll Festival or Girls’ Day in Japan.  The word “hina” (雛) means something small and adorable, while “matsuri” means festival. It's a day to offer prayers for your daughters. May 5th is Children's Day where the focus is on boys!

Some families display Hina dolls. I've seen these displays in kindergarten, they are very beautiful but always look very delicate.  

Hina Matsuri display

The top two dolls are the Emperor and Empress, next are the 3 court ladies to attend the Empress. Below them are five musicians, next are two ministers and last are 3 servants who work in the Imperial household.

The dolls are displayed from mid-February until March 3rd. One superstition says that if the dolls aren't put away on time the daughter's marriage will be delayed!

This is another festival that is still popular in Japan. I think it's nice to have a day to celebrate our children.  I never had Hina Dolls for Hannah, I think in a lot of families these are passed down but my mother-in-law only had boys.  I thought about buying them but they are very expensive, a full set can cost up to £2000!! We would have a nice meal and some years go and visit a public display.

A Little Start

 I dream of having my garden full of vegetables.  That I can decide on what to cook by seeing what I have ready to harvest.

This morning David and I went to check out what seedlings were available.  We walked round the home center for ages trying to figure out what to buy. We also wanted potting soil to start them in but neither of us had a clue as to what would be good. So we decided to buy just four little seedlings.  Two lettuce, one broccoli, and one strawberry. We bought some potting soil that promised good vegetables! We will see.

lettuce

broccoli

strawberries

David planted them in seed boxes as we still need to clear the area that we want to use.  

Another problem is the weather and people's schedules. When the weather is nice everyone is busy with work, when we have free time the weather is bad!  Today everyone is free but it's been raining all day!

I think I'll have to study about growing vegetables. The problem is I can study about basic gardening but I have no idea about the climate here and how it will affect growing things. Another challenge.

I noticed that more of the plum trees have started to blossom.

Two more trees in blossom

I'm really glad that they are blooming as I thought they had died! Maybe we can get some plums!!

Spring....

 Is here, maybe!

There are signs that spring has begun!

Almost all the trees and bushes are budding. We have plum blossoms, or at least I think they are plum blossoms. 

Plum Blossoms?

I noticed a couple of little daffodils.

Cute!

I was very happy to see these. They remind me of Mom. She used to buy some almost every spring. She told me that they were my Granddad's favorite flower! For me, they are a sign that the coldest time of year has finished!

I noticed some other bushes were starting to bloom. Not sure what they are, any ideas?

What are you?

One thing that I can't get over is how quiet it is here. Where we lived before wasn't noisy but I could usually hear people from the other houses or kids playing in the park. Here it's very quiet. The occasional car goes by and sometimes the guys working on the field behind our house, but other than that the only thing I can hear are the birds.

The mountain was covered in mist this morning.

Misty Mountain

I mentioned this to David. He said that going to work last night it wasn't misty but foggy, very foggy. He could only see a couple of meters in front of his car.

From David on the way to work

That looks very scary. He thought about turning back, but when he looked in his mirror it seemed darker than in front!

February

 I know February is the shortest month but it's also one of the hardest for me. 

February is the coldest month and this year was exceptionally cold.

We had a couple of weeks where the daytime high didn't get over 8C, and nighttime lows were about -3C. Far too cold.  In the old house, even if it was very cold outside I could keep the main rooms warm and comfortable. In this house, the only warm place is my bed. On days when it was clear but cold, it was warmer outside in the sun!

There were some good days thrown in with the cold miserable days! 

I got to visit my friend, that was a nice outing.  Just chatting and drinking tea for a couple of hours.

Tried to do more outside. A bit challenging with the cold and the aches and pains I have but worth it.  Had a few good walks around this area as well.

Got to the city hall to sort out my health insurance.  I usually put that off until the last minute as dealing with bureaucracy drives me crazy. From my point of view, it's an easy problem to solve. I want to pay the insurance but I don't have the money so help me find a way to make that happen. But of course, there is a lot of red tape to work through.  I managed, with Christopher's help. I was surprised at how much I could communicate with the staff about the problem and understand what they were saying, just a few words I couldn't get. It helped to have somebody who could understand Japanese, as backup!

After the stress of city hall, it was nice to have a little walk around a shrine and the station, even if we did miss the train! Good excuse to go into a nice little cafe!

I guess it wasn't all bad in February but I'm glad it's over and done with.  I have a long list of things to get done next month. I want to start planting things but the area we want to use still needs clearing. I'll start with some seeding boxes and pots, there are hundreds hanging around. Let's hope the weather will cooperate!

Caught Steve being naughty last night!

After this Fred went out and Steve got on the sofa!! I think that was the plan all along!

It Is The Season For.....

 Sneezing, coughing, wheezing and blood shot eyes! 

Yes, allergy season has started for me! 

According to my weather app, tree pollen is severe, and I live a the foot of a mountain covered in trees!!

I have mild allergies all year round but spring and autumn are really bad.

I take allegry medicine but the side effects are bad. Dry mouth and throat, if I'm not teaching it's okay but when I have to speak a lot I need to constantly drink.  Another side effect are the heavy headaches that I get, really pounding away, I can take painkiller but that makes the worse side effect worse!  Feeling sleepy!  That is really difficult to deal with.  Yesterday I had a morning class and of course as I started the class I felt the side effects kick in. I got so sleepy that I couldn't speak clearly!  

I've thought of using herbal or Chinese medicine to combat these allergies but I don't think that would be stong enough to deal with how severe my symptoms can get. I would love not to take the medicine but if I don't then I can spend up to three hours just sneezing and my eyes burn!

As I mentioned I had a class yesterday morning. It's the volunteer class that I do once a month with Mikey.  Yesterday was the last lesson until April. I was given some beautiful flowers as a thank you!

My flowers

They are in my room because the cats aren't allowed in there unless I'm in there. I don't want the cats to knock them over, also some flowers are poisonous for cats.

Hannah also got some flowers as well. She went out for dinner with her classmates and students doing the same course who are year below her. It was a goodbye party as the 4th year students graduate in March ( the school year is from April to the next March in Japan).  She had a really nice time, the graduating students were given flowers. 

Hannah's flowers

Hannah was asked to go and give a short 10 minute talk about entering graduate school to the third grade students.  

She did that yesterday and said the talk went well. I'm so proud of her, she is very shy and finds talking infront of people difficult but she managed to challenge herself.  

The weather has finally turned round. This morning it was above freezing when I woke up, still cold but a lot easier to deal with!  I need to get started on clearing the yard and planting a few things. I hope the weather cooperates this weekend but the forecast is for rain! 

Mikey's Walk

 Mikey enjoys walking! Many years ago, when we lived in the other house, he went out for long walks! Not just a few trips around the block but a couple of hours of walking. I went with him once because I couldn't believe he walked as far as he said he did, I regretted it! I had to ask him to turn around before we got to where he usually walked to! 

Unfortunately, his schedule got so busy, working 6 or 7 days a week, that his walking stopped. Now however he has a least one day free a week so he has started to go for walks again!

Yesterday he went out from 8am to 11am!!  

We live at the edge of a small town, Mikey walked from our house to the small town, through the town, and back again.

There are no real shops in the town. There's a post office and maybe a bank. I saw a sign for a vegetable shop but every time we went past it was closed. There are a couple of coffee shops but nothing else. Museums and historical buildings make up most of the town!

Mikey walked to a shrine and temple.  He sent me some photos but no explanation of what they are!

Why a cow? maybe one of the local gods!

I would love to go and see these places but I know I can't walk that far!  Again my lack of exercise is showing me my limitations!

Christopher is another one who likes to walk. He doesn't have a driver's license so he has to walk or use public transport. He walks to and from work, which takes about 40 minutes. At the moment that is okay but I'm wondering what to do when the weather gets hot and humid!  Walking that far when the temperature is over thirty fever degrees Celsius is dangerous. He needs to learn to drive as soon as possible!!